Author Topic: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition  (Read 107209 times)

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Offline Rizzo in a box

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Re: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition
« Reply #960 on: September 29, 2014, 02:21:40 pm »
Its part of the reason gollum is.so fat in the first place.
I feed off energy. Before zoklet I was weak and scrawny. Now I am big and fat and can lift horses. I helped hydro move her entire herd down to their other farm carrying one horse in each arm just in complete happiness due to how far I've come. I thrive off your energies. Each time you say my name, I get just a little bit fatter.

Well apparently all the blood in your body gets sent to either your stomach or your dick, because you're a fucking moron. At least you can't ban me from tinychat anymore.

Speaking of sex and bad decisions, I could use some advice guise. Let's see if I can get the salient points without rambling on about my life and shit you don't care about...

So yesterday I was having a pretty shitty day due to my parents having another one of their usual shitfests (this one instigated because my sister is coming down to visit and hopefully take me back up with her -that might happen later but I'd rather do it asap) while I was trying to skype with my ex and talk about what happened at the party. Almost got into a fist fight with my parents, but ended up taking the advice of those more level headed than me and went for a walk instead, called my ex out and tried to ruin our relationship forever (I'm in "burning-them-bridges" mode), and went to go get a bottle of wine and get drunk in the park with some money my sister sent me.

I still had $15 after the wine and wanted to get really fucked up so I hit up a buddy for some dope, which he was already on a mission to get. Unfortunately they were walking half-way across town to get it and it was like 90 fucking degrees so I decided to hit up this cute little punker chick to see if she wanted to throw in (and drive us to get it). Now, I've known this girl for about ten years, we kinda dated in freshman year but I was an awkward nerd that was scared of girls so nothing really came of it but we both had a lot of fun and we've always kinda still been crushin' on each other. Fast forward a bit to make this story shorter and we're both in a public bathroom stall, I'm shotgunning hits of heroin to her and it turns into a pretty heavy make out session. She tells me she wants to fuck my brains out but neither of us had a condom (no way I'd touch it without one, she's been around, she uses needles, and she's dabbled in prostitution - like it seems every other girl that likes me does) so she gives me a rain check for tomorrow and says she's going to buy a fat sack for us to split and we'll fuck like rabbits.

Sounds great, right? Well then why isn't my heart in it at all? This is like a dream come true for me, she's so fucking bangin' (she's petite, purple hair, nice bubble butt, perky tits) and I thought I'd never get a chance to fuck her since she always is with some new jealous ass boyfriend. So why does the thought not make me the slightest bit hard, nor did our make out & grope session? I'm starting to think maybe I shouldn't even bother, especially since I really don't think I want to do more heroin. I smoked all of maybe .1 yesterday and I was puking ALL fucking night. I'm still fucking nauseous actually, I can't even eat.

On one hand my thoughts are that I shouldn't pass this opportunity up, I never just have casual sex. On the other hand, who the fuck cares? I'm no longer a sex starved teenager that thinks its the epitome of life. If my heart isn't really into it, I'd rather not have some half-assed mediocre sex.

inb4 "you're gay"
The man who never alters his opinions is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.

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Offline RisiR

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Re: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition
« Reply #961 on: September 29, 2014, 02:44:50 pm »
I still think it's some sort of fear.

I'm not an expert on not fucking junkie sluts but I'm the champion of ruined opportunities (not just with girls).

Fuck her. Fuck her. Fuck her.
who's the judge of if its funny and or clever? the mods. period.

Offline millionsofdeadcats

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Re: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition
« Reply #962 on: September 29, 2014, 02:50:29 pm »
I'm the champion of ruined opportunities

I am in the top three in the world for this, I bet.  I have fucked my life up more times than there are posters at this board. 
quote author=dragqueen slayer link=topic=1184.msg35656#msg35656 date=1412632872]Cory is fucking retarded[/quote

Offline Rizzo in a box

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Re: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition
« Reply #963 on: September 29, 2014, 03:02:59 pm »
I still think it's some sort of fear.

I'm not an expert on not fucking junkie sluts but I'm the champion of ruined opportunities (not just with girls).

Fuck her. Fuck her. Fuck her.

I'm not going to deny that's its possible that its just fear, but honestly it doesn't feel that way. At least if I was afraid I'd have butterflies in my stomach and feel anxious and stuff. I don't though, I'm incredibly comfortable with this girl and even if we did have subpar sex I know she wouldn't make me feel awkward about it.

Part of it, I think, is a desire not to get attached to her, as I'm trying to get rid of all my attachments to my old life. I'm an incredibly sentimental person and I really don't want to end up with super strong feelings for a girl that's A)nothin but trouble B)I'm not going to see C)has a boyfriend.

But even so, shouldn't I just not be a pussy and fuck her? Except that doesn't seem to be coming from inside me, that seems more like the words of society and culture. Because you know, a man's self-worth is entirely dependent on how much pussy he can get - right?

Meh. I'll just let my dick do the thinking. If I'm into it, it will happen. If not I'll just explain that I'm some sort of mutant fagget and she'll probably end up depressed and think that I think she's ugly or too slutty or something. Like it matters anymore? I'm outta this shithole.
The man who never alters his opinions is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.

-William Blake

Offline millionsofdeadcats

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Re: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition
« Reply #964 on: September 29, 2014, 03:05:36 pm »
I still think it's some sort of fear.

I'm not an expert on not fucking junkie sluts but I'm the champion of ruined opportunities (not just with girls).

Fuck her. Fuck her. Fuck her.

I'm not going to deny that's its possible that its just fear, but honestly it doesn't feel that way. At least if I was afraid I'd have butterflies in my stomach and feel anxious and stuff. I don't though, I'm incredibly comfortable with this girl and even if we did have subpar sex I know she wouldn't make me feel awkward about it.

Part of it, I think, is a desire not to get attached to her, as I'm trying to get rid of all my attachments to my old life. I'm an incredibly sentimental person and I really don't want to end up with super strong feelings for a girl that's A)nothin but trouble B)I'm not going to see C)has a boyfriend.

But even so, shouldn't I just not be a pussy and fuck her? Except that doesn't seem to be coming from inside me, that seems more like the words of society and culture. Because you know, a man's self-worth is entirely dependent on how much pussy he can get it - right?

Meh. I'll just let my dick do the thinking. If I'm into it, it will happen. If not I'll just explain that I'm some sort of mutant fagget and she'll probably end up depressed and think that I think she's ugly or too slutty or something. Like it matters anymore? I'm outta this shithole.

You don't have to fuck her, you know.  If you overthink it, the whole thing will get all awkward and fucked up anyway.  Are you getting butterflies in your stomach?  Gonna fall in love with her or something?  You fucking faggot.

Sorry, I am being mean just to be cool in front of the other usernames.
quote author=dragqueen slayer link=topic=1184.msg35656#msg35656 date=1412632872]Cory is fucking retarded[/quote

Offline RisiR

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Re: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition
« Reply #965 on: September 29, 2014, 03:10:22 pm »
I still think it's some sort of fear.

I'm not an expert on not fucking junkie sluts but I'm the champion of ruined opportunities (not just with girls).

Fuck her. Fuck her. Fuck her.

I'm not going to deny that's its possible that its just fear, but honestly it doesn't feel that way. At least if I was afraid I'd have butterflies in my stomach and feel anxious and stuff. I don't though, I'm incredibly comfortable with this girl and even if we did have subpar sex I know she wouldn't make me feel awkward about it.

Part of it, I think, is a desire not to get attached to her, as I'm trying to get rid of all my attachments to my old life. I'm an incredibly sentimental person and I really don't want to end up with super strong feelings for a girl that's A)nothin but trouble B)I'm not going to see C)has a boyfriend.

But even so, shouldn't I just not be a pussy and fuck her? Except that doesn't seem to be coming from inside me, that seems more like the words of society and culture. Because you know, a man's self-worth is entirely dependent on how much pussy he can get - right?

Meh. I'll just let my dick do the thinking. If I'm into it, it will happen. If not I'll just explain that I'm some sort of mutant fagget and she'll probably end up depressed and think that I think she's ugly or too slutty or something. Like it matters anymore? I'm outta this shithole.
Don't think I give a rat's shit about society or your self worth. If you don't want to fuck her it's fine and I agree you should always follow your dick or heart or something.

Good luck. :tup:
who's the judge of if its funny and or clever? the mods. period.

Offline Rizzo in a box

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Re: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition
« Reply #966 on: September 29, 2014, 03:16:30 pm »
haha thanks guys. honestly I just needed to type out my thoughts.
The man who never alters his opinions is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.

-William Blake

Offline bling bling

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Re: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition
« Reply #967 on: September 29, 2014, 03:48:28 pm »
haha thanks guys. honestly I just needed to type out my thoughts.

wtf is wrong with you "shud i stick my meat stick into this diseased whores stinky seeping meat hole??? omg lif is so hard :((("

Offline 1337

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Re: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition
« Reply #968 on: September 29, 2014, 05:58:37 pm »
lol Rizzo is such a bitch. Should have bent her over and fucked her right there raw.

Offline Rizzo in a box

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Re: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition
« Reply #969 on: September 29, 2014, 06:03:58 pm »
lol Rizzo is such a bitch. Should have bent her over and fucked her right there raw.

Sorry, I'm not gollum.
The man who never alters his opinions is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.

-William Blake

Offline WS

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Re: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition
« Reply #970 on: September 29, 2014, 06:11:32 pm »
I have a 2chainz esque philosophy on fucking bitches.

I love to turn girls asses into a Frisbee.

Offline WS

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Re: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition
« Reply #971 on: September 29, 2014, 06:12:20 pm »
Also, since I recently became a convertible-owner, I prefer to throw bitches in the trash along with my car's roof.

Offline Midnight Sun

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Re: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition
« Reply #972 on: September 29, 2014, 06:49:22 pm »
Also, since I recently became a convertible-owner, I prefer to throw bitches in the trash along with my car's roof.

pull up to the scene with muh ceilin missin
:mad:

Offline The Duke

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Re: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition
« Reply #973 on: September 29, 2014, 06:50:00 pm »
Girl took me out to a few bars last night and saw a dude play a couple sets. Went back to her place and had sexytime
-Selah

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Re: The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition
« Reply #974 on: September 29, 2014, 06:53:18 pm »
Girl took me out to a few bars last night and saw a dude play a couple sets. Went back to her place and had sexytime
Who wants to bet that Duke got AIDS now?
who's the judge of if its funny and or clever? the mods. period.