Suicidal thoughts

[Peace Of Mind]

Been going in circles lately.  Before this I was doing amazingly well, kicking ass and being lovely.  But some shit went down.  I'm not gonna get into what the shit was because I'm honestly not that much of an attention whore.  Fell to pieces, though.  Was no good.  And now this suicidal ideation is kind of ruling my life.  My life fell apart once more, as it tends to.  I've been spending my days on like mental health themed forums trying to convince other depressed and possibly suicidal people that they've got a lot to live for.  People like that really seem to appreciate my empty words but they're obviously starved for affection.  Don't think much help can even come from people via this medium.

I don't want to say I'm suicidal because yeah.  Running circles around myself.  But there are those moments, where you're so lost in your head it crushes your lungs and you can't breathe.  Right?  We've all been there.

But it's fucking exhausting.

I've never been there but it always gets better dude. Don't do anything stupid.

[mojo4567]

Cause when I die fuck it I wanna go to hell cause im a piece of shit it aint fucking hard to tell

[millionsofdeadcats]

http://youtu.be/4_nWRVCNwg4

[equanimity]

Sent my three closest friends like pseudo suicide notes, detailing exactly what's wrong and expressing this feeling of hopelessness.  Probably selfish of me.  Maybe they'll have the magic words that make everything better.

None of them ever wrote back lol.  Think they're tired of me?  Guess I can't blame them

[equanimity]

Been going in circles lately.  Before this I was doing amazingly well, kicking ass and being lovely.  But some shit went down.  I'm not gonna get into what the shit was because I'm honestly not that much of an attention whore.  Fell to pieces, though.  Was no good.  And now this suicidal ideation is kind of ruling my life.  My life fell apart once more, as it tends to.  I've been spending my days on like mental health themed forums trying to convince other depressed and possibly suicidal people that they've got a lot to live for.  People like that really seem to appreciate my empty words but they're obviously starved for affection.  Don't think much help can even come from people via this medium.

I don't want to say I'm suicidal because yeah.  Running circles around myself.  But there are those moments, where you're so lost in your head it crushes your lungs and you can't breathe.  Right?  We've all been there.

But it's fucking exhausting.

I've never been there but it always gets better dude. Don't do anything stupid.

Starting to be better maybe.  Really hope I get to class tomorrow, but I'm so fucking far behind after missing an entire week.  Stressed the fuck out.

[RisiR]

I missed a week in school because I did MXE every morning. Don't get me wrong, I was there, I just wasn't there.

[equanimity]

Oh yeah.  I'm not feeling suicidal anymore, even without the lithium.  Still very very depressed, and I haven't done a lick of actual work today.  Made it to class (and yoga!) though.

yay.

[Sirfearoth]

That's good to know, I will sleep easier at night now

[equanimity]

Yeah, I bet you will.  Pervert 

[Peace Of Mind]

Oh yeah.  I'm not feeling suicidal anymore, even without the lithium.  Still very very depressed, and I haven't done a lick of actual work today.  Made it to class (and yoga!) though.

yay.

I'm glad to hear you're feeling a little better

[equanimity]

Oh yeah.  I'm not feeling suicidal anymore, even without the lithium.  Still very very depressed, and I haven't done a lick of actual work today.  Made it to class (and yoga!) though.

yay.

I'm glad to hear you're feeling a little better

Thanks!  I really hope it continues haha.  Pretty easy to get discouraged by something small at this point.  Could be back to tying practice nooses in no time

[RisiR]

Good luck with your crazy life. The PM convos I had with you were some of the weirdest I've ever it.

Keep it up and don't forget to breathe.

[equanimity]

Good luck with your crazy life. The PM convos I had with you were some of the weirdest I've ever it.

I was just joking that entire time, so don't go thinking it was too weird hah.

Keep it up and don't forget to breathe.

Don't forget to breathe.  I think that might be the best advice anyone's ever given me, and that's no joke.  Thanks, friend

[RisiR]

You're welcome.

[equanimity]

One of my friends just got back to me today. Of course it took him a while, he's busy working at his fancy university.

I feel so guilty for bothering him with my insanity

At least things are continuing to improve.