Must better than an empty quiet house year after year. Other living things, their lives and routines, keep you grounded. Humans were meant to be social creatures, whether you like it or not. That's the nature of reality.
It's good to watch things grow. Besides, my plan was for you two to move somewhere better, together. Although I wasn't serious, it would be nice if two people like you found one another, used each other to strengthen and support, to learn to develop true bonds and friendships.
Cannabis alleviates the discomfort and pain of existing. It's why I feel compulsion to use it regularly at night, when the dark thoughts begin to creep in and the brain begins to feel ill. Benzos/anxiolytics as well, but in a different way. I wish there was something like marijuana but with a significantly different MOA that you could cycle with it to prevent tolerance and other negative effects from continuous use. So many drugs in the world and not one good counterpart. Oh, there was my plan to use rimonabant at night, which I never tried.
I can't wait until my MVP 2.0 gets here. I have a feeling I'm more likely to be a strong responded and want to use it all day long. The MAOI I'm on also interacts with it positively. Looking forward to seeing what the experience is like.
Since I've had my genome processed by 23andme I could search for any SNP's that effects nicotine response and look up what phenotype I have for it. One was found that determines whether you're a slow or fast metabolizer of caffeine. I have the slow genotype, so I need lower doses and the effects last longer.
Oh, final note on snorting caffeine. Unless it's placebo, it definitely feels like the best ROA. Problem is that anhydrous caffeine isn't water soluble enough and tends to gunk up, wasting much of it. I'd like to get my hands on some caffeine hcl, or make it, and snort it. Second option would be to use this improved sublingual admin method:
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/404947-Alcohol-and-Suboxone-Alcoholic-Solutions-for-Higher-BA-With-Sublingual-Use?s=330d97195314fab89daf476e888f2106
