pots going to be legal soon enough anyway, don't wanna become an alkie like grandpappy. but that's not even the point, just like sitting in the psych hospital thinking over what's happened the past few days/weeks/months and it's all a clusterfuck of contradictions and things that dont make sense, which i guess is the point, but not keeping myself stoned 24/7 makes me realize certain things i've done really make no sense whatsoever and i can tell even now if i have some sort of mental condition it's not really something that i can do much about. if you're supposed to feel x way about y and you don't, what can you do about it? i guess i'll do what most other people do and A) practice muh instruments B) post incessantly C) listen to rap metal albums on repeat with "super bass" turned on D) i've been designing my own psychometric tests for like 3 years but nobody ever fucking takes them so i can't practice actual statistical analysis, all i'm doing is gathering data and collecting info on "good" items. i want muh research on intelligence completed.
Since most people live in the real world, unless my mental problems are so debilitating that i'll never be able to function in society, my substance abuse problems really aren't the worst. I'm not smoking pure powdered cannabinoids off foil and injecting it with canola oil into my brainstem. well, im turning 18 in 3 months, but it's been ~35 hours cannabinoid free. besides fiending, freaking the fuck out, and not remembering anything, it seems to have helped me in other ways. Taught myself how to be ambidextrous in like 4 days as a leftie. Like, lol what. I'm trying to play the bass ambidextrously to improve/equalize hand function, but a bit harder.
the thing i'm best at is literally shape puzzles. like, thank you very much God. i passed the nationwide geometry exam by like, 1 point. what good is geometry if you can't do math? engineering? architecture? i don't really know. i've been trying to find books that are geared towards people who process most of their information through graphics and shit because either my reading skills aren't as good, my ADHD enjoys teh pussles, or whatever. i want to find something where autism shape logic is the quintessential foundation, and that's about it.
are u oplus