I ate an entire box of klondike bars and I want to kill myself
Jesus fuck, they're not gonna run away from you.
The No Fatty Gets Left Behind Program---
So step one is throw all that garbage you're eating away. Buy some vegetables and fruits and if you can't afford them at least buy them canned, DONT FORGET WATER, NO SUGARY JUICE AND NO POP. Step two ,get off your fat ass and go on a walk once a day and no not from your chair to the fridge I mean an actual walk OUTDOORS. Don't just go around the block and call it a walk. Im talking miles.
Seriously just follow these two simple things and you will see how much of a difference it will make.