The Sanctuary
Ego => Head Shrinkers => Topic started by: equanimity on October 05, 2014, 09:36:19 pm
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I live with my brother. Financially it's an awesome situation, as I don't pay anything to stay here. Any money I make goes to quality food, medical stuff, and salon appointments. If I left it would be more difficult getting through school, and I'd likely need to take a few semesters off throughout to work full time and accumulate money.
But he's getting pretty bad. Goes through ~4 fifths of vodka each week, and is fucked up on coke on a daily basis. It really doesn't help that he's working crazy long hours, like sometimes 15 hour shifts. He's angry always. Punches holes in the walls, breaks shit and threatens me with violence. He hasn't hit me or anything in a long time, but sometimes I'm scared he might. It's frightening watching him act so destructively, toward himself and everything around him. I'm really tired of picking up broken glass. He looks awful. Lips so chapped they look white, bags under his eyes... just so unhealthy.
And it's affecting me. Quite a bit.
He's seeing a counselor since the courts made him after his second DUI, and he says he's going to detox soon. But he's been saying that for over a month now. Nothing is getting done. He misses his counseling more often than makes it, and when the counselor pressures him to start detox he makes up some lame excuse.
I'm not sure what to do.
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Well, first things first, you should start doing cocaine with him.
BECAUSE if you're doing his coke he won't have as much to do, therefore less of a drug addict.
flawless.
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Why is he so angry? Is it because you don't pay any rent?
Maybe if you paid rent, he wouldn't be so angry.
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Why is he so angry? Is it because you don't pay any rent?
Maybe if you paid rent, he wouldn't be so angry.
lol.
Damn this place needs thanks so badly...
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Why is he so angry? Is it because you don't pay any rent?
Maybe if you paid rent, he wouldn't be so angry.
lol.
Damn this place needs thanks so badly...
I'm not joking. Why don't you pay rent?
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Why is he so angry? Is it because you don't pay any rent?
Maybe if you paid rent, he wouldn't be so angry.
lol.
Damn this place needs thanks so badly...
I'm not joking. Why don't you pay rent?
He doesn't, either. It's a property my dad owns, and he lives with stepmom. Spoiled rich white kid. Is that okay? :P
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you're like fucking 30.
I'm legally obligated to live with my mom until I get legal approval to move, have no discernible taxable income and I still pay rent but then again I don't undergo hormone treatment to try to reverse biology
Do you even child support?
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What do your parents say about the situation?
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you're like fucking 30.
I'm legally obligated to live with my mom until I get legal approval to move, have no discernible taxable income and I still pay rent but then again I don't undergo hormone treatment to try to reverse biology
Do you even child support?
:rolleyes:
This is economical. Plus we have raspberry bushes here and I can do my gardening stuff. Why would I pay $700+ in rent/utilities each month when I have this as an option? I guess because of all this drama... *sigh*
What do your parents say about the situation?
They're removed from the situation, but they both agree that he should get into rehab. It's mostly my problem I guess. I'm tasked with driving him around too, as he's not supposed to.
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You're living off of them, they are not removed from the situation. I suggest you remove yourself from the situation and learn some independence. If you can't do that, I guess you have to deal with it.
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You're living off of them, they are not removed from the situation. I suggest you remove yourself from the situation and learn some independence. If you can't do that, I guess you have to deal with it.
I could, but as I said before it would interrupt my schooling and likely set me back x many years. Guess that's the choice I'm faced with, though.
It's interesting to me that you're one of the people making a big out of financial independence, Obbe. For the record I first moved out at 17, and lived in many different places with a lot of different people.
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You're living off of them, they are not removed from the situation. I suggest you remove yourself from the situation and learn some independence. If you can't do that, I guess you have to deal with it.
I could, but as I said before it would interrupt my schooling and likely set me back x many years. Guess that's the choice I'm faced with, though.
It's interesting to me that you're one of the people making a big out of financial independence, Obbe. For the record I first moved out at 17, and lived in many different places with a lot of different people.
And now you're living with a drug addict in a place paid for by your parents. What's your point?
Why would it set you back years? Why can't you work while you go to school? Why can't you get government assistance? Or, considering you already live off your parents, why don't they pay for your own house?
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You're living off of them, they are not removed from the situation. I suggest you remove yourself from the situation and learn some independence. If you can't do that, I guess you have to deal with it.
I could, but as I said before it would interrupt my schooling and likely set me back x many years. Guess that's the choice I'm faced with, though.
It's interesting to me that you're one of the people making a big out of financial independence, Obbe. For the record I first moved out at 17, and lived in many different places with a lot of different people.
And now you're living with a drug addict in a place paid for by your parents. What's your point?
Why would it set you back years? Why can't you work while you go to school? Why can't you get government assistance? Or, considering you already live off your parents, why don't they pay for your own house?
The house is paid off, and we're living here while he has work done on it to resell it later. It's not like he'd pay for me where ever I decided to live, this was just a good opportunity. I have been working while going to school, but making ~$12 an hour doing part time CNA work doesn't exactly pay the bills. And I have other expenses that are important to me (medical stuff). Plus I'm paying off prior medical debt. Suppose I could try for medical assistance, but isn't that sort of thing usually only given to people with kids?
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I have no idea, why don't you find out?
If this is such a good opportunity why are you even complaining?
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I'm worried about my brother.
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I would say the best solution would be to get rid of your brother.
is he on parole/probation because of the DUI? the counselor, if they are doing their job, should probably not sign the paperwork appointed by the judge. its clearly not working.
what kind of job does he work?
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He's a cook at a Chinese restaurant. Yes, he's on probation, but it's nothing serious. In my state DUIs generally aren't taken too seriously heh.
I know it isn't working, and I should probably remove myself from the situation, but he's my brother and I care about him :/
Somehow I'd like to help him, but when I try even just talking to him about it he responds with anger and violence.
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how has his employer not noticed??
and if he's that far gone, rehab is probably the best bet. if he doesn't know or can't admit he has a problem, there really isn't much you can do
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His employer has noticed, and it's been an issue for a while. He seems to handle work than he handles home, but he's been in some trouble there. It just seems like he's so close. He sees the counselor sometimes, and there's a push toward detox there. He just never makes that jump. When he's sober he's a very kind soul.
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if you are driving him around, can't you control his supply of coke/vodka?
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if you are driving him around, can't you control his supply of coke/vodka?
I'm not sure where the coke it coming from, and where I live there are churches and liquor stores every few feet so he just walks. Sometimes I'll pour his vodka out but then I really do think he'll start beating me heh :/
It's just a shit situation.
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have you tried talking to him when he's sober? and explained how destructive he is being?
honestly though, rehab exists for exactly this reason...
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have you tried talking to him when he's sober? and explained how destructive he is being?
honestly though, rehab exists for exactly this reason...
When he's sober, he refuses to talk about any of this stuff. Even gets angry if I bring it up. Sometimes when he's the right kind of drunk he gets emotional and spills his guts and I feel we had a productive talk, but then nothing changes.
It would be amazing if he went to rehab, and I feel like he's so close. But ultimately it's his decision. I can't force him to go.
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You're living with someone, practically rent free like a disgusting parasite and you have the gall to whine about how they spend their time? Move out. Nothing you say or do is going to change him. He has to make that decision himself. Either get used to it and relish his generosity for supporting his fucked up gender bending sibling, or move out. It's really that simple.
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OP maybe you wouldn't get made fun of so much if you stopped divulging embarrassing PI.
Being a tranny, abandoning children, etc. there is already a bad narrative running about you because you can't figure out your problems on your own and gotta ask a bunch of random internet assholes.
On topic, your brother is an adult, he chooses how to live and nobody can change that. If you don't like it you must change something about yourself, IE move out.
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Do you get wet when he gets violent?
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Get another job, faggot. One part-time job... this is not an after school special. Quit being a lazy nigger. Build a skill set aside from S'n the D.
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Definitely just give him distance. He wants to be Jeff Hunter go ahead and let him bc getting inbetween your bro and the great white dope might get you hit. Call the cops or get him evicted if you're concern for his safety and yours is not a priority of your parents. I'd also recommend seeking out rehabilitation programs for him if your parents do give a fuck. You could even join a group therapy for him if he won't go stranger things have happened than family memebers being affected by a person's drug use. Best thing is to let him have his fun but if he's in a bad way protecting his life may be something he'll thank you for in the long term.
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www.smartrecovery.org
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I'm worried about my brother.
Some of us addicts don't give a shit even about ourselves because we are in a self-destruct mode. I'm a shitty substance abuse counselor but if your brother is no threat to you and you aren't stealing his drugs you will be fine with it. You don't need our help since all is well and paid. Rational emotive Behavioral therapy is my advice but that is only if he wants help or you learn to live with it
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How come everyone seems to be in the know as far as this Zek trilogy/life time special? I don't recall any threads referencing trannies except those questioning WAN's gender/sexuality/multiple personality disorder.
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How come everyone seems to be in the know as far as this Zek trilogy/life time special? I don't recall any threads referencing trannies except those questioning WAN's gender/sexuality/multiple personality disorder.
yeah, I saw that and backtracked so people know histories that the rest of us don't obviously
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So... an update.
On Monday my brother started "IOP" (intensive outpatient) treatment for the drug and alcohol addictions. Because he's still dealing with his legal stuff following his (second) DUI, this information is all shared with the courts. And if he gets kicked out of this program, he's heading to jail to serve a maximum of 45 days.
It meets 4 days every week, with each session being 2 and half hours of group therapy. Random weekly UAs and BAs. Also has to find an AA group to join. The first day I dropped him off, and when it ended he was no where in sight. This worried me greatly... I thought he'd killed himself. Tends to happen in my family. Called people frantically, searched around. His phone was off when I tried calling him. Eventually I got a call from a pizza place, and it was him calling. Said his phone died.
No idea why he wasn't there when his thing ended, or why he walked to a pizza place to call me. But he was obviously drunk and seemed a little messed up on something else.
The second day they met, he didn't go. Called his counselor and gave anxiety excuse. The third day he went and it seemed to go well. Fourth day he didn't go... I think he was scared of the UA.
*sigh*
It has not been good. In the meantime, I've been trying to do my stuff and have been failing pretty terribly. Was really shaken that night he disappeared. Other people have disappeared like that, and they never came back.
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You and him should fuck.
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You and him should fuck.
Obbe my man. :tup:
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Gross no. Also neither of you were invited to my thread. How did you get in? :suspect:
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Sucks now you are a woman you can't just kick his ass in the spirit of brotherly love.
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Marchman-act his ass
Then you'll have the whole place to yourself until the lack of bills being paid brings out the eviction police
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He's angry always. Punches holes in the walls, breaks shit and threatens me with violence.
This worried me greatly... I thought he'd killed himself. Tends to happen in my family.
Do not be afraid. This site is covered with spiders, patiently waiting for their webs to tingle with the news of others' misery. When we feel the vibrations caused by someone's sobbing we'll soon came crawling faster than you can blink, out of every dark corner and recess. Before you can even think to move your body will be covered by us. And you'll feel much better once we've entombed you in a silken cocoon of love and comfort and have made nests in your ears so that we can whisper sweet things to you, and on your eyes so that we can gently brush away your tears with a hundred nimble and rapidly moving legs. Eyes that will be permanently opened with strong threads of silk. You'll never blink again and so will always be able to see that we're with you, on you, in you, and no one can remove our caring embrace no matter how hard they try.
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What the fuck?
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When we feel the vibrations caused by someone's sobbing
:psych:
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He's angry always. Punches holes in the walls, breaks shit and threatens me with violence.
This worried me greatly... I thought he'd killed himself. Tends to happen in my family.
Do not be afraid. This site is covered with spiders, patiently waiting for their webs to tingle with the news of others' misery. When we feel the vibrations caused by someone's sobbing we'll soon came crawling faster than you can blink, out of every dark corner and recess. Before you can even think to move your body will be covered by us. And you'll feel much better once we've entombed you in a silken cocoon of love and comfort and have made nests in your ears so that we can whisper sweet things to you, and on your eyes so that we can gently brush away your tears with a hundred nimble and rapidly moving legs. Eyes that will be permanently opened with strong threads of silk. You'll never blink again and so will always be able to see that we're with you, on you, in you, and no one can remove our caring embrace no matter how hard they try.
Very nice. Did you write fairytales for children in the 18th and 19th century?
:tup:
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I don't know what you're all using to make cocoons out of but what I use is gooey and salty and your mums favorite flavor
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Short update, if anyone's interested. He stopped going to his intensive outpatient thing and stopped talking to his counselor. Thinks he has a warrant out now. Lost his job tonight, finally :(
He's belligerent and shit, and I'm at the point where I can't keep any money in my purse 'cause he'll go through it. Pretty annoying. I might end up moving out, which sucks because everything else about living here is awesome.
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Short update, if anyone's interested. He stopped going to his intensive outpatient thing and stopped talking to his counselor. Thinks he has a warrant out now. Lost his job tonight, finally :(
He's belligerent and shit, and I'm at the point where I can't keep any money in my purse 'cause he'll go through it. Pretty annoying. I might end up moving out, which sucks because everything else about living here is awesome.
He's a shit cunt. Plain and simple, you should've told your mom and dad about him ages ago, but i get that you're a decent person. He's going to go to jail now it seems, good.