Author Topic: The Official Shoplifting Thread  (Read 5059 times)

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Offline AgentNixon

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The Official Shoplifting Thread
« on: September 02, 2014, 10:16:50 pm »
Welcome to the Official Retail Expropriation Thread. Please actually read the thread before you dump a remedial question here
(Moved from Zoklet) I want to get this up before Zoklet shuts down. I will be finishing, updating, editing this forum later when I'm not on my mobile. Can not finish till maximum word limit is removed
How To Make a S3 Key
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Security Devices And How To Remove Them
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Information on EAS Towers/Door Alarms
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« Last Edit: September 03, 2014, 01:58:29 am by AgentNixon »

Offline shadylady

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Re: The Official Shoplifting Thread
« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2014, 04:49:24 am »
If I can help in anyway just pm me

Shady x
Rules are for fools. LOL

Offline bling bling

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Re: The Official Shoplifting Thread
« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2014, 04:52:23 am »
hi how can i shoplift paint cans without cops towing me??

Offline shadylady

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Re: The Official Shoplifting Thread
« Reply #3 on: September 03, 2014, 04:58:29 am »
hi how can i shoplift paint cans without cops towing me??

Deep Baggie pants like niggas wear
Rules are for fools. LOL

Offline millionsofdeadcats

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Re: The Official Shoplifting Thread
« Reply #4 on: September 03, 2014, 05:16:55 am »
I'll probably be posting in here as well, I did in zoklet BI from time to time.  I haven't done this stuff since the 20th century but I do know a little.
quote author=dragqueen slayer link=topic=1184.msg35656#msg35656 date=1412632872]Cory is fucking retarded[/quote

Offline bling bling

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Re: The Official Shoplifting Thread
« Reply #5 on: September 03, 2014, 05:46:33 am »
hi how can i shoplift paint cans without cops towing me??

Deep Baggie pants like niggas wear

not enough room nub

do you think walking in with a holdall is suscpicious

i can just slide cans in???

Offline shadylady

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Re: The Official Shoplifting Thread
« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2014, 06:17:45 am »
hi how can i shoplift paint cans without cops towing me??

Deep Baggie pants like niggas wear

not enough room nub

do you think walking in with a holdall is suscpicious

i can just slide cans in???

Box stuffing is your friend
Rules are for fools. LOL

Offline bling bling

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Re: The Official Shoplifting Thread
« Reply #7 on: September 03, 2014, 06:18:46 am »
hi how can i shoplift paint cans without cops towing me??

Deep Baggie pants like niggas wear

not enough room nub

do you think walking in with a holdall is suscpicious

i can just slide cans in???

Box stuffing is your friend

nah u cant do that man


Offline shadylady

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Re: The Official Shoplifting Thread
« Reply #8 on: September 03, 2014, 06:49:58 am »
hi how can i shoplift paint cans without cops towing me??

Deep Baggie pants like niggas wear

not enough room nub

do you think walking in with a holdall is suscpicious

i can just slide cans in???

Box stuffing is your friend

nah u cant do that man

Magic bag if all else fails magic mushrooms
Rules are for fools. LOL

Offline bling bling

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Re: The Official Shoplifting Thread
« Reply #9 on: September 03, 2014, 02:30:23 pm »
hi how can i shoplift paint cans without cops towing me??

Deep Baggie pants like niggas wear

not enough room nub

do you think walking in with a holdall is suscpicious

i can just slide cans in???

Box stuffing is your friend

nah u cant do that man

Magic bag if all else fails magic mushrooms

last time i tried shrooms i ordered like 7g but the thing what came was this big syringe thingy??

i thought he was hooking me up with pure psyclobin (you cuold even see the pure psclybon microdots suspended in teh liquid) so i tried mainlining it but nothing happened??


but anway i check out this store and they have the bomb ass UNI-PAINT px20/px30 (maybe even th one with the chisel tip omg)

but dam thy dont put alot out bcause of ppl like me coppin too many every day and just stomping them outside the door of the store so there was all this epic oil based silver and gold and white paint all over the door front and the people were treading it in and the ppl came so i had to bounce

Offline AgentNixon

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Re: The Official Shoplifting Thread
« Reply #10 on: September 03, 2014, 04:37:35 pm »
Lol Shady Lady! You wrote 90% of that thread. Unfortunately there is a 2000 word limit. I pm'd Arnox and he sounds like he might change that. If he does then I delete this one and post the full one. Until then we might have to break it into parts.

Offline millionsofdeadcats

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Re: The Official Shoplifting Thread
« Reply #11 on: September 03, 2014, 04:46:46 pm »
I was going to look for some of my shoplifting posts at zoklet, but they are scattered among so many threads that I cannot even find one.  Here is a quick one I wrote half jokingly to Soso0 here in the 'can of corn' thread, but it does work for some gas money if you run short during the week.


go to a food bank or a fucking soup kitchen.  dress shitty. they will give you pasta and meat and shit so your not eating corn and tobasco out of the fucking can.

Or, get your ass up, get dressed in some work clothes, get a 44. oz cup with a lid and straw, and head to the nearest hardware store.  When you go in there, bring the cup, empty, but with the lid on like you have pop in it.  Get a cart.

Go to the section that has copper/brass fittings, and there should be some thick copper fittings about an inch long, the thickest they have.  Sometimes they are in plastic bags, 10 count.  Put a bunch of fittings in the cart.  Go to a section of the store where there is less traffic and not many expensive items, like the gardening chemicals section or some shit.  Fill your pockets and the cup with as many fittings as you can without looking like your pockets are full of shit. Abandon the cart and leave, sipping from your 'drink' as you stroll through the door.  Repeat at as many hardware stores as you can. 

Go to a metal recycler and sell the fittings.  If you are paranoid about bringing in pounds of gleaming, brand new copper fittings, throw them in a fire for a bit and let them get all dirty and burned-looking, then you can say you found them in a burnpile or something like that. 

Now you have grocery money for the week.
quote author=dragqueen slayer link=topic=1184.msg35656#msg35656 date=1412632872]Cory is fucking retarded[/quote

Offline AgentNixon

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Re: The Official Shoplifting Thread
« Reply #12 on: September 03, 2014, 05:25:53 pm »
How much do you usually get from this. What is usually the price per pound for that kind of metal?

Offline millionsofdeadcats

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Re: The Official Shoplifting Thread
« Reply #13 on: September 03, 2014, 05:50:24 pm »
How much do you usually get from this. What is usually the price per pound for that kind of metal?

Nothing, because I quit doing this sort of thing.  I make more money with less effort with other bad ideas.  But when I was active, I wouldn't even bother if it was less than 3$ a lb.  Just not worth the time.  If I couldn't make at least 100$ in an hour I didn't fuck with it.
quote author=dragqueen slayer link=topic=1184.msg35656#msg35656 date=1412632872]Cory is fucking retarded[/quote

Offline millionsofdeadcats

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Re: The Official Shoplifting Thread
« Reply #14 on: September 03, 2014, 06:29:53 pm »
Magic bag if all else fails magic mushrooms

I used to get a trash can off the shelf and then go get a big plant in a pot, go to an empty aisle like the chip aisle or like paper towels and shit, and quickly and smoothly empty most of the soil into the trash can.  Then I would put items underneath the plant rootball, replace the plant, and on my way to the registers, I would put the trash can on a shelf somewhere out of the way.  I would go up to the registers, buy the plant, and leave.  The plants are sort of expensive though, so make whatever you put in there count. 

5 minutes in and out, if you do it right fuck the cameras.  Until facial recognition is commonplace, the camera footage is mostly just used as 'evidence' if you get caught, i.e. leverage to get you to plead.  You won't get caught if you are half decent, as long as you don't become a familiar face at a particular store.  Don't get casual about it, or one day you will walk into a store thinking stealing is a breeze, and end up having your day ruined.
« Last Edit: September 03, 2014, 06:33:10 pm by millionsofdeadcats »
quote author=dragqueen slayer link=topic=1184.msg35656#msg35656 date=1412632872]Cory is fucking retarded[/quote