I'm going to try IM'ing esketamine for the first time soon (Within an hour, probably). Haven't used it in a long time, at least since I started my current regimen. .5mg/kg seems to be the standard, and I'll take into account the greater potency of esketamine.
I've only snorted it before and never enjoyed it, it just made me feel dissociated. Can't remember what the max dose I've used is. IIRC ketamine is actually one of the most accurate drugs used to model the effects of schizophrenia. Someone posted before that they found that dissociatives were very polarizing, with people generally either hating or loving them. Neurodiversity is bound to play a big part. I don't have a good idea of what a great ketamine experience is supposed to feel like.
Randomly felt depressed today for the first time in a while since I started Parnate and NSI. Although I only got about 6 hours of sleep and had to KO myself with a sedative, which effects sleep quality. Last night I was on etizolam and may have had an idea/remembered something that may me feel relatively excited, gave me something to look forward to. I either forgot or I remembered and it lost its allure. Then I was struck by the feeling of emptiness and meaninglessness.
