The retarded thread: Send zok back to africa edition

[Midnight Sun]

Santa's Slay = instant christmas classic

[John Smith]

just be like "sup"

I feel like I have a terminal illness right now. I'm really not exaggerating when I describe how bad a state I've been in since my mental breakdown earlier this year.

Parnate has been giving me terrible anxiety for about two weeks now and I don't know why. I haven't been to the gym in 1-1/2 weeks, and previously I never missed a session. Been avoiding going anywhere and have become even more dysfunctional in some ways. It feels like excessive norepinephrine release (it is a releaser at around 1/10th the strength of amphetamine, along with it's MAO inhibition furthering the effect), but it doesn't make sense, I don't have the right symptoms and never experienced this when I took amphetamine or 2-fma. Lack of peripheral effects, NE effect being mostly in the brain? Or it could have something to do with taking it rectally, but I've never seen any information that metabolism is necessary. Emsam is absorbed transdermally and this is beneficial, tranyl is an amphetamine analog, and amph works just fine rectally. What if the effects of it unmetabolized are different. I wonder if MAO inhibition in the gut has any positive effect on mood. It could also be that I'm taking it all at once, but spreading it throughout the day would be a pain in the ass with rectal admin. There's also the possibility that NSI-189 is interacting with it somehow, but I can't see why that would be. NE release in the hippocampus has been shown to trigger neurogenesis, but that isn't NSI's MOA. Or maybe my source sent me the wrong product, but that would be easily noticeable. There's the possibility that they fucked up the synthesis or left impurities, maybe something with the isomers, the wrong ratio or even the sole production of the - isomer. Or it could just be side effect that will go away eventually, possibly at a different dose.

Do you enjoy my suffering, sploo? My awareness of how many things could be responsible, and ignorance of which it might be? Well, I suppose this is what happens when you decide to become your own guinea pig. Meh, even if one of those possibilities is true, it probably won't be that bad. At worst I may have a breakdown due to anxiety, or just not experience any relief from depression.

Reminder to summarize the video I posted above. It's really funny how it parallels my own existence.

This thread is fucking insane

Oh, good, this is fitting.

[splooge gook]

Your external variables and the thoughts that go through your head alter your mind as much as the drugs do. If you weren't hopelessly burning through your antidepressants, fantasizing on how you'll look once you get bleached, while smoking 50 micrograms of weed and whining about muh singularity, would you have any scapegoats? Would you just finally think"There really is nothing I can do." and kill yourself?

[splooge gook]

Also, you're forgetting that the pharmaceuticals you're taking are "dirty drugs", it would be stupid to correlate a side effect to a certain neurotransmitter that your AD releases, because not only are there multiple adrenergic receptors which get hit with various efficacies, there are also possibly subclinical alterations in GABA, ion transport, long term potentiation. nobody really fucking knows what these drugs do or why they help, we assumed at one point SSRIs are the answer from the serotonin theory, but in reality a psychoactive chemical may also be producing alterations that only occur on a relatively larger scale in the brain

[John Smith]

I'm scared. Hold me.

[Gollumkip]

I'm scared. Hold me.

*holds*

[Lanny]

you'll catch something doing that.

also, gollumkip == real gollum?

[John Smith]

---

[splooge gook]

and before this realization you were oblivious to these things, weren't you? you're slowly learning to socialize through the internet and you're having your existential crisis and personal fable at 25 or something instead of 15

[inb4bowden]

asdsd

[RisiR]

Bye guys. 

[WS]

My aunt roll up the Kush we high now I beat up the twat.

[equanimity]

Bye guys. 

Where are you going?

[inb4bowden]

I made a mean post and I internet apologize for it although it did come from a good place

Malice, I suggest doing anything you can to feel "alive" likely you equate these feelings with physical activity but probably thinking of yourself in the macro human sense coupled with the physical exertion from being "alive" will do good things for you and help you have sex.

I will literally send you $200 worth of bitcoin right now if you promise you'll spent it on a prostitute

[millionsofdeadcats]

a reminder to leave cheap margaritas and mexican food alone

You are joking, right?  If that is really you, you need to go burn that restaurant to the ground.  Fucking dirty ass non-hand-washing spic motherfuckers.