Author Topic: Difference between Confidence and Arrogance  (Read 1256 times)

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Offline Obbe

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Difference between Confidence and Arrogance
« on: October 28, 2014, 05:30:08 pm »
What is the difference? Some people might say there is none. I don't know about that.

Confidence is a desirable and attractive asset. People like you more when you are confident, and a confident person has a greater ability to live their life the way they want to as compared to a person who lacks confidence.

Confidence is not a belief that you are always right. A truly confident person is open to alternative perspectives and opinions, able to show their vulnerabilities and admit to their mistakes, and is willing to be wrong knowing that being wrong won't hurt them. People who believe they are always right and unwilling to accept influence from other people can appear obnoxious to the people around them.

Both confident and arrogant people are aware of their strengths and abilities. But arrogant people have trouble recognizing the strengths and abilities of others. Confidence is a display of a persons abilities expressed through their actions, while arrogance is only a claim to abilities often only expressed with words. Confident people are calm, cool, laid back. Arrogant people try hard to impress.

Arrogance has roots in insecurity, feelings of weakness which a person cannot accept. Confident people recognize and accept their weaknesses.

Arrogant people puff themselves up by insulting others - to “win”. Arrogance is to judge one’s own self-worth by comparison with others. Confident people feel great about themselves without comparing themselves with others. Arrogant people will avoid risks or blame others or circumstances if things do not work out as expected.

For the arrogant, relationships are often shallow and superficial or strained. Their professional successes can be fragile due to difficulties in accepting guidance and feedback and impaired abilities to accept and learn from mistakes.

To have confidence is like when you trust yourself to the water. You don't grab hold of the water when you swim, because if you do you will become stiff and tight in the water, and sink. You have to relax. Confidence is the very opposite of clinging, and holding on.

What do you think about confidence and arrogance?
All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.
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Offline Nasheeds and Lesbians

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Re: Difference between Confidence and Arrogance
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2014, 05:43:58 pm »
probly the best thread you've ever made

I saw that because I'm confident, not arrogant so I can admit you have some value

confidence is grounded in the world, arrogance is grounded in yourself if that makes any sense. I'm still trying to work on it tbh

Offline DaGuru

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Re: Difference between Confidence and Arrogance
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2014, 06:44:26 pm »
I used to wear a shirt in school that simply said....."I'm not arrogant, I'm just better than you."  8)

My personal belief in the true differences, is the way a truly confident person carries themselves. Some are just more low-key and passive about their success and confidence, where others are more brash and verbose about it....which oftentimes delves into the realm of being arrogant.

Personally Obbe, I ain't buying much of how you define what you believe to be "arrogant" people....because I think its just someone's way that is either insecure or jealous of said person to try to minimize how good they really are. Trying to read into a lot of psycho mumbo jumbo and put in on their character, as a way to attack or discredit them.

As someone that does wander back and forth into the worlds of confidence and arrogance, its not because I'm deep down really insecure, weak or afraid.....instead its 3-fold at least for me. First and foremost, I very much DO enjoy playing the "psychological" game in any competitive arena. I like seeing the people's reactions when you tickle their egos a little bit, and I also like lighting a fire under someone's passion for the thrill of the competition. I am purposely trying to get them just a tad bit pissed at me to make them want to crush me more, because I truly do WANT their "A" game....I want them to give me absolutely every thing they got, because it will add to the spoils of victory even that much more.

The second part of it for me, is just upping the stakes a little bit more...actually giving MYSELF more pressure. Because now that I have talked so much shit before and during a competition, I damn well BETTER follow through and walk the walk after talking the talk....or else their will be a whole lot of egg on my face after. Not to mention knowing many of the other competitors (and spectators too) will have a lot of smug satisfaction if the cocky/arrogant guy didn't back what he was bringing.

Along with upping the stakes for yourself, it all adds further drama to the moment...and sometimes adds to the remembrance of the event years later. Think Babe Ruth pointing to center field just seconds before he put it over the fence in that very spot. Almost a 100 years later and people still remember and talk about what would have normally been "lost" in history's consciousness. That wasn't out of "weakness"...instead knowing how good he was and following through on it....and at this point that moment is now mythical rather than ordinary.

And being someone that is arrogant, I'll share one of my favorite times I/we followed through and it wasn't even in the sporting realm. About 15 years or so ago, we had a regional roundtable meeting of all the managers in our state to go over yearly initiatives and other bullshit with corporate and one of their vice presidents. A month before the meeting we were broken up into groups, and assigned the task of having to assess a specific business model that was failing....and come up with some problem solving ideas in a 15 minute presentation. We were a group of 4 each, and once I learned of 2 of the other managers that were on my team, I knew it was in the bag.

So we have a couple of conference calls in the weeks leading up to it, and the day of the meeting we learn there will be a cash prize to whoever gave the best ideas/presentation....and it would be determined by vote. All of the managers would be voting, along with our regional manager and the VP. So mostly had to impress/outdo the very people we were going against. But first we had to come up with a team name, and were given a few minutes to decide as a team.

While most of the other teams came up with "John's Juggernauts" or something else predictable....my ego couldn't help myself and came up with "Who's got second?" Implying we would win, and everyone else was fighting for second place. One of the managers on my team thatwas very capable but quite passive and conservative  hated it, thinking it was too arrogant and abrasive...and nobody would vote for us because of it. The other 2 managers got a good chuckle, and we outvoted her so we went with it. Of course when we announced our team name there was a collective groan and eyeroll out of the room, but again it just raised the bar for us that much more.

We ended up nailing the presentation dead-on, were far more prepared and articulate than the rest....and when it came down to voting the tally wasn't even close. Out of 5 teams we got somewhere around 70-80% of the votes. Sometimes, when you are THAT DAMN GOOD, even people that have a stake in the claim and with bruised egos...they still can't overlook the obvious while swallowing their pride (and their own insecurities) and recognize true greatness when they see it. :D

Offline Prometheus

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Re: Difference between Confidence and Arrogance
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2014, 07:02:22 pm »
Personally, I draw the line at whether or not you're a dick about it.
I'll try anything once, and twice to be sure.

Offline starvingniglet

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Re: Difference between Confidence and Arrogance
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2014, 07:12:39 pm »
Arrogance has roots in insecurity, feelings of weakness which a person cannot accept

When one is on the receiving end of someone elses 'arrogance', they tell themselves this so they feel better.


Personally, I draw the line at whether or not you're a dick about it.

Now this is much better.  Arrogance is when a confident person is a 'dick about it'.
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Offline Infinityshock

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Re: Difference between Confidence and Arrogance
« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2014, 07:27:29 pm »
Confidence is thinking you're as good as everyone else and they're as good as you

Arrogance is thinking you're better than everyone else and they're all beneath you

Offline DaGuru

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Re: Difference between Confidence and Arrogance
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2014, 07:34:50 pm »
Confidence is thinking you're as good as everyone else and they're as good as you



But that's pollyanna politically correct thinking. There isn't any arena in the world where "people are equally as good as each other". There is ALWAYS some level of separation, some are inferior and others are superior. There's no getting around that.

Or does that make someone "arrogant" for stating the harsh realities of life and not wanting to hand out trophies to everyone, instead to JUST the real "winners"?

Offline Umbrella Corp

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Re: Difference between Confidence and Arrogance
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2014, 08:04:05 pm »
Arrogance and ignorance are synonymous. 

For instance ignorant white trash high school dropouts like Honey Boo Boo's mom(or honey boo boo for that matter).  People who think they're attractive/desirable even tho they are hideous.. They don't give a shit about anyone but themselves and have no SHAME.

I think with intelligence comes a certain degree of shame.  Or at least Humbleness. 

IMO confidence isn't much different.  One can be confident in their abilities doing certain jobs/tasks and that is acceptable.  However people very often confuse the two terms.  Guess that is why you raised the question. 
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Offline Tokolosh

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Re: Difference between Confidence and Arrogance
« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2014, 08:17:28 pm »
Arrogance is being a smug cunt who needs to incessantly pat himself on the back for his current or past 'achievements'. This pat on the back is highly public and is an aggressive social faux pas that tries to encourage others to pat.

Confidence is achieving without the desire for recognition or approval.

Offline Nasheeds and Lesbians

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Re: Difference between Confidence and Arrogance
« Reply #9 on: October 28, 2014, 08:23:21 pm »
confidence test: DaGuru, PM me a picture of yourself and if you're not hilarious and pathetic looking I won't spam it everywhere

Offline Infinityshock

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Re: Difference between Confidence and Arrogance
« Reply #10 on: October 28, 2014, 11:15:08 pm »
Confidence is thinking you're as good as everyone else and they're as good as you



But that's pollyanna politically correct thinking. There isn't any arena in the world where "people are equally as good as each other". There is ALWAYS some level of separation, some are inferior and others are superior. There's no getting around that.

Or does that make someone "arrogant" for stating the harsh realities of life and not wanting to hand out trophies to everyone, instead to JUST the real "winners"?

it has nothing to do with the reality...it is the perception of the reality, and the way people express their perception