Employment interview with a butler:
Q. Have you ever killed people consecutively before.
A. Yes. Yes, I have.
Q. How fast are you at jumping into closets, dark corners, and behind drapes?
A. I wear running shoes for sprints and bikini shorts for endurance.
Q. Did you receive a final paycheck from your most recent place of employment?
A. No.
Q. Were you in the will at your most recent place of employment?
A. Yes.
Q. How are you with knives, poisons, rope knots, deadly snakes, electrical wiring and large, heavy objects?
A. I actually took 6 years of intense instruction at the Academy of Better Butler Bad Guys. Everything was well covered.
Q Did your mother and/or father kiss you goodnight as a child?
A. No. Never. Please change the question.
Q. If you were to be hired for this position, could you deal with being stranded on a small island for extended periods of weeks, or even months?
A. Absolutely.