Self destruction.

[Teessider]

Lately I've been abusing way more cocaine and booze than usual, due to certain events which have recently happend  it seems like I go in self destruct mode. I've started smoking crack and adding Valium to the mix.

Friday night I drank a bottle of jack Daniels maybe 10 cans of lager , 1.5g of high quality cocaine, 1g of mephedrone and from what I remember 90mg of Valium. The next day I woke up to burnt pizza in the oven so I must of tried cooking and fell asleep and my mate must of came in, rolled me over and turned it off.

I've done my fair share of drugs over the years  and have held down good jobs for many years but I think my life is going in a downward spiral right now and have no idea where to start.

[RisiR]

Cocaethylene is a bad motherfucker.

Are you physically dependent on booze or is it just cravings?

[Teessider]

I don't think I'm dependant on booze, although I drink every night. It has ever since a family members death earlier this year and then burying a close friend 2 weeks ago. It just seems like I want to push my body to its limits now and see how far it can go. I have an addictive personality, I know I can't just have one beer then go home I'm there until last orders.

[Infinityshock]

Dont fight your urges...go with them and enjoy how good it makes you feel

Nature has determined you are not fit to continue existing.  You are getting cravings that will cause you to eventually assume room temperature.  Congratulations on your selection for extinction

[RisiR]

That self destructive behavior seems to be a form of grief. I don't think that's unusual.

Professional therapy seems like the most obvious choices. Talking to a pro helps a lot in many cases.

If I was you, I'd cut down on the coke as fast as possible and stop drinking with it because that produces Cocaethylene inside your liver and that stuff is a real bitch. I'd separate the two at any cost and lower the benzo dose as fast as possible too. Save them for later when you maybe need em for the booze.

Getting professional help as soon as possible might be the best idea.

[RisiR]

Dont fight your urges...go with them and enjoy how good it makes you feel

Nature has determined you are not fit to continue existing.  You are getting cravings that will cause you to eventually assume room temperature.  Congratulations on your selection for extinction

You are truly disgusting.

[Infinityshock]

Dont fight your urges...go with them and enjoy how good it makes you feel

Nature has determined you are not fit to continue existing.  You are getting cravings that will cause you to eventually assume room temperature.  Congratulations on your selection for extinction

You are truly disgusting.

Flattery will get you nowhere