I'm in pain.

[Obbe]

That's what you get for not picking up a dictionary.

    ________   __    __    _______   __    __
   |        | |  |  |  |  /       | |  |  /  /
   |  ------' |  |  |  |  |   ____| |  | /  /
   |  |___    |  |  |  |  |  |      |  |/  /
   |   ___|   |  |  |  |  |  |      |     /
   |  |       |  |  |  |  |  |____  |     \
   |  |       |   --   |  |       | |  |\  \
   |__|       \________/   \______| |__| \__\

                                     _____
                                    ||   ||
                                    |\___/|
                                    |     |
                                    |     |
                                    |     |
                                    |     |
                                    |     |
                                    |     |
                               _____|<--->|_____
                              /     |     |     \
                          ____|     |     |     |_
                         /    |     |     |     | \
                         |    |     |     |     |  |
                         |    |     |     |     |  |
                         |                      |  |       
                         |                      |  |
                         |                        / 
                         |                       /
                          \                    /
                           \                  /
                            |                 |
                            |                 |

                                     ____     ____  _________   ___     ___
                                     \   \   /   / /         \ |   |   |   |
                                      \   \ /   /  |  _____  | |   |   |   |
                                       \       /   | |     | | |   |   |   |
                                        \     /    | |     | | |   |   |   |
                                         |   |     | |     | | |   |   |   |
                                         |   |     | |_____| | |   |___|   |
                                         |   |     |         | |           |
                                         |___|     \_________/  \_________/

[Proots]

Yeah, man - I hope you feel better ASAP. Please let us know what the diagnosis is (if you don't mind) because, I'm quite curious. Here's to hoping for a speedy recovery all the same, though.

[equanimity]

Get well please, Slave

[Michael Myers]

Look at how mad this faggot is.

That's what you get for not picking up a dictionary.

    ________   __    __    _______   __    __
   |        | |  |  |  |  /       | |  |  /  /
   |  ------' |  |  |  |  |   ____| |  | /  /
   |  |___    |  |  |  |  |  |      |  |/  /
   |   ___|   |  |  |  |  |  |      |     /
   |  |       |  |  |  |  |  |____  |     \
   |  |       |   --   |  |       | |  |\  \
   |__|       \________/   \______| |__| \__\

                                     _____
                                    ||   ||
                                    |\___/|
                                    |     |
                                    |     |
                                    |     |
                                    |     |
                                    |     |
                                    |     |
                               _____|<--->|_____
                              /     |     |     \
                          ____|     |     |     |_
                         /    |     |     |     | \
                         |    |     |     |     |  |
                         |    |     |     |     |  |
                         |                      |  |       
                         |                      |  |
                         |                        / 
                         |                       /
                          \                    /
                           \                  /
                            |                 |
                            |                 |

                                     ____     ____  _________   ___     ___
                                     \   \   /   / /         \ |   |   |   |
                                      \   \ /   /  |  _____  | |   |   |   |
                                       \       /   | |     | | |   |   |   |
                                        \     /    | |     | | |   |   |   |
                                         |   |     | |     | | |   |   |   |
                                         |   |     | |_____| | |   |___|   |
                                         |   |     |         | |           |
                                         |___|     \_________/  \_________/

[stentor]

Dribbling piss sounds like prostate issues but I don't know how that would correlate with the ass jelly, I know sometimes enlarged prostates can have an impact on the rectum when it gets a certain size. Other then that it sounds like you might have bowel issues if your squirting mucus out your ass, mucous is mostly a benign symptom and is usually just a sign that your bowels are just trying to help repair something or ease constipation. Is there blood in your shit?

[-SpectraL]

Can we get an update, Slave of the Beast?? Kinda worried about you, brother.

[Obbe]

Look at how mad this faggot is.

That's what you get for not picking up a dictionary.

    ________   __    __    _______   __    __
   |        | |  |  |  |  /       | |  |  /  /
   |  ------' |  |  |  |  |   ____| |  | /  /
   |  |___    |  |  |  |  |  |      |  |/  /
   |   ___|   |  |  |  |  |  |      |     /
   |  |       |  |  |  |  |  |____  |     \
   |  |       |   --   |  |       | |  |\  \
   |__|       \________/   \______| |__| \__\

                                     _____
                                    ||   ||
                                    |\___/|
                                    |     |
                                    |     |
                                    |     |
                                    |     |
                                    |     |
                                    |     |
                               _____|<--->|_____
                              /     |     |     \
                          ____|     |     |     |_
                         /    |     |     |     | \
                         |    |     |     |     |  |
                         |    |     |     |     |  |
                         |                      |  |       
                         |                      |  |
                         |                        / 
                         |                       /
                          \                    /
                           \                  /
                            |                 |
                            |                 |

                                     ____     ____  _________   ___     ___
                                     \   \   /   / /         \ |   |   |   |
                                      \   \ /   /  |  _____  | |   |   |   |
                                       \       /   | |     | | |   |   |   |
                                        \     /    | |     | | |   |   |   |
                                         |   |     | |     | | |   |   |   |
                                         |   |     | |_____| | |   |___|   |
                                         |   |     |         | |           |
                                         |___|     \_________/  \_________/

*.g.o.a.t.s.e.x.*.g.o.a.t.s.e.x.*.g.o.a.t.s.e.x.*
 g...............................................g
 o./.....\.............\............/....\.......o
 a|.......|.............\..........|......|......a
 t|.......`..............|.........|.......:.....t
 s`........|.............|........\|.......|.....s
 e.\.......|./......./..\\\...--__.\\.......:....e
 x..\......\/..._--~~..........~--__|.\.....|....x
 *...\......\_-~....................~-_\....|....*
 g....\_.....\........_.--------.______\|...|....g
 o......\.....\______//._.___._.(_(__;..\...|....o
 a.......\......C.___)..______.(_(____;..|../....a
 t......./\.|...C.____)/......\.(_____;..|_/.....t
 s.....././\|...C______)..()....(___;...|...\....s
 e.....|...(..._C_____)\______/..//._/./.....\...e
 x.....|....\..|__...\\_________//.(__/.......|..x
 *....|.\....\____)...`----...--'.............|..*
 g....|..\_..........___\......./_.........._/.|.g
 o...|............../....|.....|..\............|.o
 a...|.............|..../.......\..\...........|.a
 t...|.........././....|.........|..\...........|t
 s...|........././......\__/\___/....|..........|s
 e..|........././........|....|.......|.........|e
 x..|..........|.........|....|.......|.........|x
 *.g.o.a.t.s.e.x.*.g.o.a.t.s.e.x.*.g.o.a.t.s.e.x.*

[prism4]

well normally i'd 'prescribe' pure heroin w/saline delivered via gravity drip for portability (just wheel around the entire IV apparatus, octopus wheels, stand, bag, dope, everything).

a y-set or simple IV push to guard against infection...

however with your described stomach problems, diacetylmorphine and antibiotics may prove troublesome.

did you used to or still drink a lot of alcohol, or anything else that could prove irritating to the stomach?

u just need to go to 2 doctors, and see if they concur on a diagnosis/treatment, if not go to a 3rd doc

[Rowan]

I had kidney stones a couple times.  Sounds somewhat similar.

Isn't kidney stone pain way more acute?? Mine about brought me to my knees when it actually hit and def not something I would want to apply additional pressure to for any reason.

[Obbe]

I had kidney stones a couple times.  Sounds somewhat similar.

Isn't kidney stone pain way more acute?? Mine about brought me to my knees when it actually hit and def not something I would want to apply additional pressure to for any reason.

Yeah you're right

[constantinople]

well normally i'd 'prescribe' pure heroin w/saline delivered via gravity drip for portability (just wheel around the entire IV apparatus, octopus wheels, stand, bag, dope, everything).

a y-set or simple IV push to guard against infection...

however with your described stomach problems, diacetylmorphine and antibiotics may prove troublesome.

did you used to or still drink a lot of alcohol, or anything else that could prove irritating to the stomach?

u just need to go to 2 doctors, and see if they concur on a diagnosis/treatment, if not go to a 3rd doc

who the fuck is this guy?

[Slave of the Beast]

Bump.

Spent two days in hospital. Prodded and poked by 5 different doctors. Theories included inflamed lymph nodes, inflamed bowel and a hernia. Bloods (CRP count was high), X ray and ultrasound taken. Apart from discounting kidney or gall bladder stones and establishing that there was a problem of some sort, the tests proved inconclusive. Pain subsided after a few days; now just a twinge when I move in certain ways. The last Doctor said she suspects, but couldn't prove without a CT scan¹, that it's a very small hernia that the ultrasound didn't pick up and if the symptoms return then they'll do a CT scan. If that still doesn't show anything up then they'll consider exploratory surgery. Joy.

She said in 30% of cases who present abdominal pain the cause remains undiagnosed! They simply call it 'non-specific abdominal pain'. Well whatever the fuck it was I hope it doesn't happen again.

1) Which would have been "overkill", i.e. 'Are you dying? No? Good, because that's an expensive piece of kit to use'.

[Infinityshock]

Dribbling piss sounds like prostate issues but I don't know how that would correlate with the ass jelly, I know sometimes enlarged prostates can have an impact on the rectum when it gets a certain size. Other then that it sounds like you might have bowel issues if your squirting mucus out your ass, mucous is mostly a benign symptom and is usually just a sign that your bowels are just trying to help repair something or ease constipation. Is there blood in your shit?

prostate issues can cause it.  same principle as puking too much and running out of stuff to puke.  when you try to shit too hard and you shit everything out, theres nothing left but goo

[Obbe]

Bump.

Spent two days in hospital. Prodded and poked by 5 different doctors. Theories included inflamed lymph nodes, inflamed bowel and a hernia. Bloods (CRP count was high), X ray and ultrasound taken. Apart from discounting kidney or gall bladder stones and establishing that there was a problem of some sort, the tests proved inconclusive. Pain subsided after a few days; now just a twinge when I move in certain ways. The last Doctor said she suspects, but couldn't prove without a CT scan¹, that it's a very small hernia that the ultrasound didn't pick up and if the symptoms return then they'll do a CT scan. If that still doesn't show anything up then they'll consider exploratory surgery. Joy.

She said in 30% of cases who present abdominal pain the cause remains undiagnosed! They simply call it 'non-specific abdominal pain'. Well whatever the fuck it was I hope it doesn't happen again.

1) Which would have been "overkill", i.e. 'Are you dying? No? Good, because that's an expensive piece of kit to use'.

Do you have healthcare?

[Infinityshock]

Bump.

Spent two days in hospital. Prodded and poked by 5 different doctors. Theories included inflamed lymph nodes, inflamed bowel and a hernia. Bloods (CRP count was high), X ray and ultrasound taken. Apart from discounting kidney or gall bladder stones and establishing that there was a problem of some sort, the tests proved inconclusive. Pain subsided after a few days; now just a twinge when I move in certain ways. The last Doctor said she suspects, but couldn't prove without a CT scan¹, that it's a very small hernia that the ultrasound didn't pick up and if the symptoms return then they'll do a CT scan. If that still doesn't show anything up then they'll consider exploratory surgery. Joy.

She said in 30% of cases who present abdominal pain the cause remains undiagnosed! They simply call it 'non-specific abdominal pain'. Well whatever the fuck it was I hope it doesn't happen again.

1) Which would have been "overkill", i.e. 'Are you dying? No? Good, because that's an expensive piece of kit to use'.

does anything happen to cause it?  what about ejaculating? squeezing too hard or for too long when youre trying to take a dump?