The Sanctuary

Ego => Spurious Generalities => Topic started by: splooge gook on September 23, 2014, 12:05:25 pm

Title: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: splooge gook on September 23, 2014, 12:05:25 pm
It'll take some time. I think one day I'm going to take all the autistic things i've said that i hardly remember, mainly around when i got kicked out of 9th grade to a suspension school. it was solely on the basis of what i've written, and my lawyer was like "if we got the other judge in the roomy uou'd be in prison right now?

if i just sold this as a compilation i think it might be the outrageously offensive thing anyone has ever read
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: splooge gook on September 23, 2014, 12:13:34 pm
http://zoklet.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=94d07682f8afc45d039abffe238a5404&t=266850

Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: splooge gook on September 23, 2014, 12:15:15 pm
"It's only when I read shit like this that I favor a fascist government that practices eugenics."
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: millionsofdeadcats on September 23, 2014, 12:15:25 pm
I would buy the fuck out of something like this.  Make it fucking good though, sploo
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: Michael Myers on September 23, 2014, 12:15:34 pm
I like sploo.
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: splooge gook on September 23, 2014, 12:18:26 pm
I would buy the fuck out of something like this.  Make it fucking good though, sploo

I think I'm seriously going to do this at some point. Under a psuedonym ofcourse. And I can use some of the fucktarded zoklet posts as dialogue from other characters, paraphrased a bit, so it looks like an actual discussion and just one page that's painful to read through to the next

i will call it the chromosomeology of failures
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: splooge gook on September 23, 2014, 12:20:19 pm
epic thread where i throw a huge hissy fit about acting like an idiot and my gf dumping me

http://zoklet.net/bbs/showthread.php?t=301213
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: millionsofdeadcats on September 23, 2014, 12:25:22 pm
I think I'm seriously going to do this at some point. Under a psuedonym ofcourse. And I can use some of the fucktarded zoklet posts as dialogue from other characters, paraphrased a bit, so it looks like an actual discussion and just one page that's painful to read through to the next

i will call it the chromosomeology of failures

Make it have those pages in little kids books that are like plastic, so that bodily fluids and booze won't ruin the book. 
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: Michael Myers on September 23, 2014, 12:26:32 pm
I think I'm seriously going to do this at some point. Under a psuedonym ofcourse. And I can use some of the fucktarded zoklet posts as dialogue from other characters, paraphrased a bit, so it looks like an actual discussion and just one page that's painful to read through to the next

i will call it the chromosomeology of failures

Make it have those pages in little kids books that are like plastic, so that bodily fluids and booze won't ruin the book.

You mean the 3D stuff?
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: splooge gook on September 23, 2014, 12:28:24 pm
I think I'm seriously going to do this at some point. Under a psuedonym ofcourse. And I can use some of the fucktarded zoklet posts as dialogue from other characters, paraphrased a bit, so it looks like an actual discussion and just one page that's painful to read through to the next

i will call it the chromosomeology of failures

Make it have those pages in little kids books that are like plastic, so that bodily fluids and booze won't ruin the book.

You mean the 3D stuff?

no he means laminated. but when you open one of the pages a bunch of 3-d paper dicks stick out in all directions, usually hitting the reader.

this is to commemorate the DICKS EVERYWHERE legacy
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: Michael Myers on September 23, 2014, 12:34:08 pm
I think I'm seriously going to do this at some point. Under a psuedonym ofcourse. And I can use some of the fucktarded zoklet posts as dialogue from other characters, paraphrased a bit, so it looks like an actual discussion and just one page that's painful to read through to the next

i will call it the chromosomeology of failures

Make it have those pages in little kids books that are like plastic, so that bodily fluids and booze won't ruin the book.

You mean the 3D stuff?

no he means laminated. but when you open one of the pages a bunch of 3-d paper dicks stick out in all directions, usually hitting the reader.

this is to commemorate the DICKS EVERYWHERE legacy

I would so buy this book. And give it to my friends on their birthdays, where we sit in a circle (including their families) and I let them unpack it. We all go "read it to us!" and they open it up and *BOOM* DICKS EVERYWHERE. Family is in shock. I die of laughter.

Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: millionsofdeadcats on September 23, 2014, 12:44:09 pm
no he means laminated. but when you open one of the pages a bunch of 3-d paper dicks stick out in all directions, usually hitting the reader.

this is to commemorate the DICKS EVERYWHERE legacy

If I buy this, and I open the pages, and a bunch of 3-d paper dicks come flying out, I will find you and kick your fucking ass.
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: splooge gook on September 23, 2014, 12:50:42 pm
to make it semi-educational a real life activity can be given and explained at the end of each relevant chapters

like a few pahes after the popping out dick there could be a DIY on how to make origami phallic symbols

or you could keep the reader on his or her toes the entire times if you made pop up dicks hit you in the face every few times. this doesn't start happening until about halfway through the book, but then you get sprayed with raid ejaculate every 2-6 pages until you ragequit and throw the book on the ground. once enough people have thrown their books on the ground, it would become a public icon (like OBEY) and everyone would become interested in it
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: Lord hang man on September 23, 2014, 05:41:37 pm
Sploogy u r an odd duck
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 23, 2014, 06:25:19 pm
Was the god=aliens before or after I made an offhand comment about the possibility of the pyramids being built by aliens and obbe bugged me vua PM for a month telling me to make a thread about it so I made a thread about how aliens building pyramids is  scientifically sound and has been corroborated by science and aliens are god except pedophiles and I posted the thread and nothing really happened, FON kinda got BTFO then I made obbe mad in peoo so he bumped it and a collective of victims and faggots emerged, taking the ridiculous thread literally but only managing to latch onto the possibility that I did not know how to cite academic sources properly before enrolling in post secondary education HAHA BURN IM TTLY NOT BUTTHURT ancient aliens/10 excellent self promotion and disxussion what the fuck is everyones IQ?

But I liked your threads with internet msgs with that girl, it was a weird window into a teenage world and made me realize how trchnology is going to alienate millenials and future generations at an exponential rate. "The generation that went outside" wont happen until the aliens come back for their pyramids and leave the worldbin ruins.

But my favorite part is that you shaped her perception of a relationship and how she views "boyz" as she gets older.

"Ok hunny the guy who took my virginity used to send me manic txt msgs about god=aliens while smoking fake weedand huffing starter fluid, every msg we sent back to each other had quotations everywhere because our personalities werent fully formed and self referentially derrivative and we're ok with that because we're millenials and we understand each other"

"Whore"

You did good sploo dont ever become less like yourself
dont ever become less like yourself
dony ever become leas like yourself

What are your fav UM quotes? I honestly forget all but my most throwaway threads. The only ones that come to mind is a heatbag thread I wisjed I never made and a thread about how sexy the new leader of HAMAS is
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 23, 2014, 06:27:14 pm
Im gonna make a massive cringefest of a thread in a bit but post itbunder a dif account but youll know who it is and I wont try nnhide  it cuz love
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: millionsofdeadcats on September 23, 2014, 06:34:38 pm
Im gonna make a massive cringefest of a thread in a bit but post itbunder a dif account but youll know who it is and I wont try nnhide  it cuz love

cant wait  :o
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: splooge gook on September 23, 2014, 06:37:08 pm
i like the thread where you panicked out aabout having a milligram of hash dingleberry while spending 40 minutes thinking about something to say to a girl, you proceeded to cotemplate to rapequit both of your hard drives in case your prrosecutor caught a glance of you. saw you
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: millionsofdeadcats on September 23, 2014, 06:42:52 pm
i like the thread where you panicked out aabout having a milligram of hash dingleberry while spending 40 minutes thinking about something to say to a girl, you proceeded to cotemplate to rapequit both of your hard drives in case your prrosecutor caught a glance of you. saw you

 :tup:
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 23, 2014, 06:54:25 pm
i like the thread where you panicked out aabout having a milligram of hash dingleberry while spending 40 minutes thinking about something to say to a girl, you proceeded to cotemplate to rapequit both of your hard drives in case your prrosecutor caught a glance of you. saw you

That was a post in the retarded thread referencing how retarded my paranoia is.

Go back to prison expecting to stay for a few years
get granted bail by the same prosecutor who sentenced you to your last federal sentence
Conditions say "dont leave your house you're on house arreat until we say so"
prosecutor is notorious witch
go back periodically to court and see her
she loves knowing she put me on house arrest
be trapped on a bus for 30-40 minutes with her standing up and looking back
know full well that a breach means spending the next 3'-4 years in prison.
Get paranoid because you didny smoke any hash
Another charge while on bail means automatucallu proceeding by indictment on new charge and bail revoked spending a shitload of time in pre trial custody which is cruel and unusual
see her on her phone
fancy bus that only has one stop you know tou're both getting off at


Seems totally unreasonable to get anxious over
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: splooge gook on September 23, 2014, 07:02:03 pm
meth
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: millionsofdeadcats on September 23, 2014, 07:04:51 pm
Seems totally unreasonable to get anxious over

It kinda does, hate to say.  I am not going to incriminate myself on here, but lets just say I have had some fucked up shit in my car before, and got pulled over, and had a fucking conversation with the cop, and drove away.  And when I say fucked up shit, I am not talking about drugs. 

Then there was the time my sister was briefly living with me and, while I was getting high in my front room with her husband, on a whim me and him decided to go down to the store for pop.  My sister was a wanted felon at the time, but I didn't know it.  We left my bag of weed and two brightly colored glass pipes on the table near the wall, a 45 degree angle from the door.  My sister stayed behind.

As we came back, I saw a police car in my driveway.  It was empty, and they were in my house.  I got fucking pissed, (I had forgotten about the weed) and charged in there, saying to the cop 'Why are you in my house?'  He was talking to my sister, who was sitting on a couch a straight line from the doorway.  He turned to me and told me that she let him in (which means he doesn't need a warrant to enter, what a dumb ass she is).  The way he was facing talking to her, and the way he turned to me, he juuuuuust missed seeing the pipes and baggie.  All he had to do was turn his head a little bit.  I noticed the stuff left out just as he was explaining how she let him in, and I felt a stab of fear, I will admit. 

But I just glared at him as my manipulative, charismatic criminally insane sister talked him out of arresting her right then and there, and he freaking left without her!  And never noticed the pipes or weed.  And it was a felony warrant.  They did come back later and tried to get in again but that is another story.  Fucking I got a bunch more but too much typing.
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 23, 2014, 07:14:09 pm
Dudnt read becase aftwr the firat sentence I could tell how incredibly irrelevant it is.

Were talking about a federal crown prosecutor who granted someone bail on the last day of his federal sentence under the condition tjat he never leave his house. Me outside my house is grounds for arrest detainment search etc nobody gives a fuck if you were pulled over before and got away. I could tell you a bunch of more interwsting and likely truthful stories about myself but although I didnt read your post I dunno

Point is check ur privaledge/iq
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: millionsofdeadcats on September 23, 2014, 07:26:05 pm
Dudnt read becase aftwr the firat sentence I could tell how incredibly irrelevant it is.

Were talking about a federal crown prosecutor who granted someone bail on the last day of his federal sentence under the condition tjat he never leave his house. Me outside my house is grounds for arrest detainment search etc nobody gives a fuck if you were pulled over before and got away. I could tell you a bunch of more interwsting and likely truthful stories about myself but although I didnt read your post I dunno

Point is check ur privaledge/iq

You are incredibly insecure.
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 23, 2014, 07:38:46 pm
How long is the house arrest and what was the crime?
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 23, 2014, 07:51:41 pm
Not really, you're just dull
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 23, 2014, 07:58:36 pm
How long is the house arrest and what was the crime?

I was on bail awaiting sentencing for a year and a half on gouse arrest. I wrote an essay about how prisons r le crime factories and another about how this is the first time in my life when I can start moving forward because all these external sociological factors blah blah blah cuz it was a female judge. Doing so kept me outta jail and I was just sentenced to another year on house arrest and 3 yearsvafter that on paper which was less than my lawyer was asking for I made such a good emotional appeal to the judge.

She literally said she admired me and didnt expect to see me back. There was no scolding and I was wearing a baller asssuit. Didnt sleep fot 2 days beforehand. Goin in I planned to fake cry because itd be fitting and dramatic but when the time came I just had a huge shiteating grin on my face that probably made her second guess her decision. The aforementioned crown changed districts a week before so there was an inexperienced out of province crown in her place.

Sex and teddy bears
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 23, 2014, 08:06:21 pm
Sex and teddy bears was the crime?

I call for death row, nigga.
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 23, 2014, 08:29:44 pm
That was just something I posted

The crime was possessing hydromorphone for the purpose of trafficking in an area with fed sentencingnguideline forsxeduele 1 while on parole for more dopendealing charges
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 23, 2014, 08:30:52 pm
That was just something I posted

The crime was possessing hydromorphone for the purpose of trafficking in an area with fed sentencingnguideline forsxeduele 1 while on parole for more dopendealing charges
Thug Life.  8)
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 23, 2014, 08:38:07 pm
Thats an oversimplification I just tried to clarify but deletedbbecause it was HEAT
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 23, 2014, 08:42:49 pm
Dude, did you have a stroke or some shit?

Your writing is terrible today.
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: bling bling on September 23, 2014, 08:46:00 pm
Thats an oversimplification I just tried to clarify but deletedbbecause it was HEAT

proxie proxy???

hack the planet
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 23, 2014, 08:47:35 pm
Im on VPN-orbot right now but its still android spywarrrre

But really it was just about this piece of paper they tried to make me sign in prison that I didnt post because im very paranoid

Archive this post
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 24, 2014, 01:56:09 am
I'm sorry for making this thread about me, this thread really made me like sploo a lot more

http://zoklet.net/bbs/showthread.php?t=301213

If helloclarice wasn't such a weird ugly boy she'd have archived it unironically because it is genuinely funny. I like when you posted caspers comment and she was like "omg y would u put urself out there like that love u bye" Fuck that was funny, I posted some of the retarded thread in /r/cringe before and he would write long fictional stories about me that nobody ever read, he's a decent fella though I guess I wish him the best god bless

god bless you too sploo don't be sexually intimidated by me

(http://imgur.com/vJcYT03)

Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: bling bling on September 24, 2014, 01:58:23 am
I'm sorry for making this thread about me, this thread really made me like sploo a lot more

http://zoklet.net/bbs/showthread.php?t=301213

If helloclarice wasn't such a weird ugly boy she'd have archived it unironically because it is genuinely funny. I like when you posted caspers comment and she was like "omg y would u put urself out there like that love u bye" Fuck that was funny, I posted some of the retarded thread in /r/cringe before and he would write long fictional stories about me that nobody ever read, he's a decent fella though I guess I wish him the best god bless

god bless you too sploo don't be sexually intimidated by me

(http://imgur.com/vJcYT03)

???????????????????????????????????????????????
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 24, 2014, 01:59:56 am
I HAVENT TAKEN METHYLPHENIDATE FOR 2 WHOLE WEEK DAYS

tomorrow I'm taking it this is too fucking much
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 24, 2014, 02:01:34 am
fuck I came really close to posting a pic of vizier but didn't.

I need to smoke another cigarette
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 24, 2014, 08:58:07 pm
METHYLPHENIDATE
:laugh:
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 24, 2014, 09:02:42 pm
What's so funny about that? I took some today but it didn't work cuz I only took 54mg expecting it to work better and is completely worn off now
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 24, 2014, 09:15:23 pm
What are you, 12?
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 24, 2014, 09:21:30 pm
No, I'm 27 and prescribed 108 mgs of concerta and 20mgs of ritalin IR a day

I keep reading my posts before posting them and they seem objectively ridiculous
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 24, 2014, 09:28:26 pm
No, I'm 27 and prescribed 108 mgs of concerta and 20mgs of ritalin IR a day

I keep reading my posts before posting them and they seem objectively ridiculous
*Subjectively

Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 24, 2014, 09:40:46 pm
*injectively
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 24, 2014, 09:43:14 pm
No.
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 24, 2014, 09:46:02 pm
*ejectively
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 24, 2014, 09:46:38 pm
Nah...
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 24, 2014, 09:47:35 pm
Odin's a faggot
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 24, 2014, 09:51:58 pm
Odin is a mythical figure that never existed. Muhammad on the other hand had sex with Aisha when she was 9 years old.

HALAL!
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 24, 2014, 09:53:37 pm
The qur'an isn't clear on her actual age but most people agree she was very young

To his credit he waited 2 or 3 years after marrying her to do it
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 24, 2014, 09:58:58 pm
That's true. She was 6 as she became his sex slave but I really don't know what kept him from fucking her right away. Probably erectile dysfunction from smoking all the opium.
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 24, 2014, 10:04:42 pm
That's true. She was 6 as she became his sex slave but I really don't know what kept him from fucking her right away. Probably erectile dysfunction from smoking all the opium.

It's really not known how old she was, Abu Bakr didn't have many records on him and his family until he got on the prophets tip. Some say they were married when she was 15. From what I understand the description of her age at the time was a term that can mean between 8 and 16 but people accept she was on the younger side of it.

His first wife was middle aged when he was young though, cut him some slack. He married women for altruistic reasons, even his critics will admit that, the Qur'an is full of reasons for having multiple wives because women are too weak to survive on their own etc.
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 24, 2014, 10:11:22 pm
Banging a milf before you fuck a 9 year old child completely justifies the pederasty of course.

Good point.
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 24, 2014, 10:14:42 pm
10/10 would martyr
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 24, 2014, 10:22:48 pm
ALLAHU AKBAR!
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 24, 2014, 10:26:43 pm
NEKBIR!
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 24, 2014, 10:29:11 pm
NEKBIR!
More like neckbeard you fucking kuffar.
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 24, 2014, 10:31:06 pm
what's your number of days to fast during Ramadan?
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 24, 2014, 10:37:41 pm
what's your number of days to fast during Ramadan?
I fast during the Christian fasting period between, 40 days before Easter.
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 24, 2014, 10:40:04 pm
lol, no you don't
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 24, 2014, 10:42:27 pm
Word is bond, I do.
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever said
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 24, 2014, 10:44:58 pm
on monday and tuesday I ate a tiny sliver of chicken pot pie, 2 cookies and a few pieces of kafta kabob because I couldn't eat cuz I didn't take my meds
Title: Re: Can I make a comprehensive list of things of the cringiest things I've ever
Post by: RisiR on September 24, 2014, 10:49:09 pm
Interesting.