I feel defeated sometimes

[carltino]

So if you've been in head shrinks you know I have a mentail illness.  But I've felt hopeless the past few years as I've been hospitalized...lost jobs and ended up homeless off and on many times.  And last year I was in and out of jail because of stupid shit I've done while off my meds.   But this past year I've stayed on my 700$ shot and it has kept me somewhat normAL except for those couple of threads in head shrinkers.   I currently get ssdi but I can't shake the feeling that I will end up back being homeless.  My 2100$ car I bought broke down in 2 months and my mom had to quit her job due to our bad Internet connection (she worked at home)  so now I am paying the bills.  I think I can make a living selling shirts and hats and jewelry and my art but some days I still feel unsure.  And with my vehicles breaking down I don't think I'll be able to hold a job and get back and forth to work.   I don't know I feel defeated.  I'm gonna buy this cap press and make some graffiti hats and see how they sell and see how my jewelry sells.

[equanimity]

Are you able to work at all?

http://www.dol.gov/dol/topic/disability/

[carltino]

I can work I used to mow yards all day and walk 15 miles a day.  It's more of a mind over matter thing and literally going crazy when I'm off my meds and sometimes when I'm on them.  I am really hoping I can make enough money self employed to support myself when my disability ends.

[equanimity]

Why is your disability ending?  Maybe you should apply for more benefits.  I don't mean to be rude or anything, but it sounds like your schizophrenia is bad enough that you should qualify for quite a bit.  Being homeless off and on is common among people with mental illness, but that past works in your favor when asking the government for help.  I can't imagine you'd make enough selling hats and t-shirts unless you were selling them in the right place, like at a festival or soemthing.

[carltino]

It doesn't end for 4-6 years but I don't want to not be prepared.  To sell the hats and stuff I was gonna pass out flyers door to door.  I was mowing yards and got 12 yards in a month passing out flyers.  I was making like 600$ a month from passing out thosearly flyers.  I figured I would have similar success passing out flyers for hats, shirts, jewelay and art.  But like I said in my original post I doubt myself sometimes.  The only thing that keeps that idea alive is knowing I got 3 calls per 100 flyers when I passed out my lawn care flyers.

[carltino]

I'm still allowed to make money and I know I seem paranoid if my disability isn't ending for 4-6 years but I want to have certain things in place before then.  Maybe a newer car that isn't going to break down or a sub part house I can live in or land I can park a travel trailer on.  Currently I will have nothing in place due to the amount of money I'm spending.

[baby raper]

Kill yourself

[carltino]

I figured you wouldn't have anything intelligent to add before I even opened the thread

[baby raper]

I figured you wouldn't have anything intelligent to add before I even opened the thread

haha how long did it take for u to get disability

[carltino]

I've been applying for years but this last time I applied I think it took 4 5 months to get approved

[-SpectraL]

What you have to do is take it one step at a time and don't even look at the future. Just take one problem, figure out the best way to attack it, follow through. Never mind about tomorrow. Each day is sufficient for its own badness. Just think about what you CAN do today, do your best with what you CAN address, and fuck the rest come hell or high water.

[BORSH]

If you feel defeated then you need to win.

Go wait outside of a bar late at night. Wait until preferably about 3 people come out. Talk shit to them, don't wait for a reply, start stabbing them.

You will never see from the side how high up you can rise if you don't play the game. Modern gladiator. +points for removing drunkard cancer.

[carltino]

I told everyone on zola how I tried to slice this dudes throat open then tried to stab his friend in the gut.  Luckily I was unsuccessful both times.  But yeah I've done some pretty crazy shit

[Suicidal Fish]

Go On Bad Ideas and Type in 'Amazon Scam'