I dunno, I don't know you but I'd surmise it'd be due to your androgynous beta factor or something. Women are a means to an end for self actualized MOB menz, there's no point in hating them or really loving them. Their greatest uses are physical, hence their "soul" quotient usually have a negative value and horrible returns to scale. Most are stupid, boring, frustrating, evil etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum but at the same time, when you're feelin it, you're feelin it and busting a genuine nut in a vag can keep you sane in the hour of chaos. This is why "concubine" and "receptacle" are such great words.
Every man needs a woman behind him and that woman needs to look after his seeds. This is obv a biological fact. You have to accept women for what they are and move on. Hence Muhammad (puh) realized that things were better when women weren't walking around the desert with their goods all hanging out and if they didn't dress like ho's then guys can get more done. This was obv taken to a ridiculous level but you see his point. The valuation standard of women being based on their ACTUAL value rather than their "entitled" (which doesn't even exist) value is the best scenario for mankind. Because, faggotry, is basically why some women act all stupid and shit. This was kind a tangent disregard everything so far
Sploo, you like girls better when they're dead because you accept the fundamentally good thing about them but abhor the shitty things because you haven't figured out how you fit into their paradigm when you should be figuring out how they fit into yours. A dead girl is devoid of the things you dislike about them and make you feel shitty but you don't realize that's basically the sum of their parts. You have to accept it, find one most tolerable and have someone better and more experienced than you teach you how to train a ho. Without that you'll only ever see the dichotomy of annoyinglivinggirl/beautifuldeadgirl
This is not rocket science sploo, just be less of a faggot and things will fall into place