Gain;
1) Invite him over and when he gets there let him know you're thinking of re-doing the interior based on what you already have. Ask for help under the premise that you might be heteroflexable.
2) Download a keylogger online and have it running in the background on your computer. Once you've done this invite him over on a Sunday evening. Tell him you need to ask your "ex" for the name of this restaurant you two used to go to that has really good crystal meth/ (MDMA/stylish clothing/etc.) hookups that hang out near it so you can call them to find out if they're open. He unfortunately changed his number so you have to facebook him. Turns out after your last fight he blocked you so you're wondering if you could facebook him from his account. You're like 90% likely that he'll accept.
Go out to dinner and make it fucking nice. Take him back to your house... Saying you like to wait for second dates to get physical but you had a great time.
Open your hidden keylogger and look for any "@hotmail.com" kind of variants. Underneath will be his facebook password.
Go on his facebook and click on "Private messages."
Stop talking to him completely for as long as it takes for him to start talking to other people about what he's upset about. He will eventually imply that you're gay or say it straight up "He said we were dating!" When this happens, screenshot it. Print said screenshots.
Beat yourself up (physically/literally) until it's noticeable or pay an emo kid to cut you.
Go freaking out with the printed screenshots and acting as if your date never happened. Blackmail him for whatever you can get or you'll sue him for character defamation, getting you beat up/hate crime (he's in the closet right) AND finding every person he's close to that doesn't know he's gay and showing them the printed convo he had with w/e trusted person.
Lulz
1)Send yourself a message from his facebook saying "Just thought I'd better tell you, I'm positive. "
respond from your own account disgusted and not talk to him again.
2) Change his facebook status to "Interested In: Men" then click "Like" on it.
Go back to your own account and comment "omg I didn't think you'd do it. holy shit. I'm proud of you man. so what did your Dad say?"
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I'm not being serious. It is quite obvious to anyone that isn't "limited" in perceptive ability that YOU are gay/bi/lesbian/transgender AND INSECURE ABOUT IT.
And... On top of that... You're a dick and if you're serious you should go fuck/suck/insert foreign objects into/etc. yourself.
