how to choke steed in house without yell

[starvingniglet]

I have to strangle this horse that got into my spare bedroom.  How can I do it without the horse making tons of loud 'neighing' noises and bothering my elderly neighbors?

[equanimity]

What the fuck you pervert.

[starvingniglet]

 

[Proots]

Unless you use something like piano or cheese wire that's going to slice into their jugular vein and spray blood everywhere, the chances you have of strangling someone WITHOUT making noise are very slim. Most people are going to fight back with every last ounce of strength they have. If they do not yell out or make noise themselves, you probably will - or, they'll end up knocking things over/into things causing lots of noise and clamor.

Unfortunately or fortunately, life isn't like the movies and strangulation is seldom a "silent takedown" for the very reasons I listed above.

[starvingniglet]

Most people are going to fight back with every last ounce of strength they have

What about a horse?  Should I not stand behind it or something?  What other precautions should I take?

[Proots]

Most people are going to fight back with every last ounce of strength they have

What about a horse?  Should I not stand behind it or something?  What other precautions should I take?

I don't know how much experience you have with horses, but they are large and exceptionally powerful creatures. We don't use the term "horse power" for nothing. Think of them as large dogs with hooves. As soon as you start getting aggressive with it, it's going to start bucking, kicking, neighing - possibly screaming (I don't know if you've ever heard a horse scream) - and biting.

Let me put it to you this way - if I was going to bet on a single human versus a single horse in hand to hand combat, I'd put my money on the horse every time. They can literally tear your face off with a single bite. They can shatter your ribcage and/or skull with a single kick. It's not going to be something you can do quietly.

Your best bet would be to club it over the head with a sledge hammer or something. Even that isn't a guarantee, since if you don't kill it with one blow (and, you may not - they have tough skulls) all hell is going to break loose.

[equanimity]

Most people are going to fight back with every last ounce of strength they have

What about a horse?  Should I not stand behind it or something?  What other precautions should I take?

I don't know how much experience you have with horses, but they are large and exceptionally powerful creatures. We don't use the term "horse power" for nothing. Think of them as large dogs with hooves. As soon as you start getting aggressive with it, it's going to start bucking, kicking, neighing - possibly screaming (I don't know if you've ever heard a horse scream) - and biting.

Let me put it to you this way - if I was going to bet on a single human versus a single horse in hand to hand combat, I'd put my money on the horse every time. They can literally tear your face off with a single bite. They can shatter your ribcage and/or skull with a single kick. It's not going to be something you can do quietly.

Your best bet would be to club it over the head with a sledge hammer or something. Even that isn't a guarantee, since if you don't kill it with one blow (and, you may not - they have tough skulls) all hell is going to break loose.

lol...

[Proots]

Most people are going to fight back with every last ounce of strength they have

What about a horse?  Should I not stand behind it or something?  What other precautions should I take?

I don't know how much experience you have with horses, but they are large and exceptionally powerful creatures. We don't use the term "horse power" for nothing. Think of them as large dogs with hooves. As soon as you start getting aggressive with it, it's going to start bucking, kicking, neighing - possibly screaming (I don't know if you've ever heard a horse scream) - and biting.

Let me put it to you this way - if I was going to bet on a single human versus a single horse in hand to hand combat, I'd put my money on the horse every time. They can literally tear your face off with a single bite. They can shatter your ribcage and/or skull with a single kick. It's not going to be something you can do quietly.

Your best bet would be to club it over the head with a sledge hammer or something. Even that isn't a guarantee, since if you don't kill it with one blow (and, you may not - they have tough skulls) all hell is going to break loose.

lol...

I really can't tell what I find more abysmal - your character or your intelligence. You're a disgusting, vile, self-absorbed, deceitful and horrible human being...but, on the other hand...you're also really, really, really stupid. So stupid, that you'll never be able to understand even remotely how retarded you are.

[General Fault]

Live stream that shit up on YouTube or something so we can watch the horse stomp your ass into red goo.

[Proots]

Live stream that shit up on YouTube or something so we can watch the horse stomp your ass into red goo.

I'm glad someone else with sense chimed in. I'm being serious, Starvingniglet. Horses are extremely powerful creatures. Trying to choke one is going to end very, very poorly for your end.

[starvingniglet]

I'm glad someone else with sense chimed in. I'm being serious, Starvingniglet. Horses are extremely powerful creatures. Trying to choke one is going to end very, very poorly for your end.

I need to kill it, though, and relatively silently.  Maybe poison?

[splooge gook]

well spectral wrestled a bear once it cant be that bad

[Proots]

I'm glad someone else with sense chimed in. I'm being serious, Starvingniglet. Horses are extremely powerful creatures. Trying to choke one is going to end very, very poorly for your end.

I need to kill it, though, and relatively silently.  Maybe poison?

Poison would probably be your best bet, since placing the poison can be done discreetly and by the time the horse starts becoming symptomatic, you won't exactly be anywhere near it. However, they're also exceptionally large and have fairly good stomachs. How one would go about poisoning a horse and killing it without making it just sick is anyone's guess. I'll have to look into for you. So far, this is probably your best bet.

[starvingniglet]

I'll have to look into for you. So far, this is probably your best bet.

Ok please don't, because as funny as this is, and as much as I wanted to let it run its course, I don't want you to go and do any actual work just for a clone thread.

[bling bling]

make lemonade

and glue