Author Topic: Has anyone read the bible?  (Read 5994 times)

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Offline Soso0

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Has anyone read the bible?
« on: October 06, 2014, 03:43:30 pm »
I've been wanting to read the Bible. I'm not religious in any sense but could be considered spiritual. I've looked online to read a bible but end up with so many different versions and I don't know which one to choose.

Offline splooge gook

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Re: Has anyone read the bible?
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2014, 03:49:05 pm »
poorly written, boring, and duplicitous
Everything I post iz fiction

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Offline millionsofdeadcats

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Re: Has anyone read the bible?
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2014, 03:49:18 pm »
1611 king james version
quote author=dragqueen slayer link=topic=1184.msg35656#msg35656 date=1412632872]Cory is fucking retarded[/quote

Offline splooge gook

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Re: Has anyone read the bible?
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2014, 03:49:51 pm »
but you're looking for The New Testament
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Offline Built To Last

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Re: Has anyone read the bible?
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2014, 03:51:45 pm »
I've skimmed through it once or twice. I prefer to read the New American Bible (NAB) or the New Revised Standard Version (NRSV).

Offline Soso0

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Re: Has anyone read the bible?
« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2014, 03:58:10 pm »
What's the difference between the versions. Has anything been removed/added?

Offline millionsofdeadcats

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Re: Has anyone read the bible?
« Reply #6 on: October 06, 2014, 03:59:45 pm »
AFAIK, without getting into wierd ethiopian gnostic insanity, the old king james version is the earliest 'normal' translation one can get.
quote author=dragqueen slayer link=topic=1184.msg35656#msg35656 date=1412632872]Cory is fucking retarded[/quote

Offline splooge gook

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Re: Has anyone read the bible?
« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2014, 04:01:18 pm »
What's the difference between the versions. Has anything been removed/added?

the Old Testament is full of lists of lists of lists, birthdates/deathdates of random historical figures that are not relevant to anything, and generally other Shit That Nobody Cares About.

the New Testament tries to get rid of the parts that are basically unreadable and make it more of the novel that it is.

the only person you're going to see reading the Old Testament is a pope blowing an inch of dust off a 6000 page tome before performing an exorcism on the little girl he impregnated
Everything I post iz fiction

"I've shot meth before, is it water soluble?" -semiazas
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Offline millionsofdeadcats

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Re: Has anyone read the bible?
« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2014, 04:03:41 pm »
the Old Testament is full of lists of lists of lists, birthdates/deathdates of random historical figures that are not relevant to anything, and generally other Shit That Nobody Cares About.

the New Testament tries to get rid of the parts that are basically unreadable and make it more of the novel that it is.

the only person you're going to see reading the Old Testament is a pope blowing an inch of dust off a 6000 page tome before performing an exorcism on the little girl he impregnated

The only thing you have ever used a bible for is as a platform to roll shitty syncan blunts. 
quote author=dragqueen slayer link=topic=1184.msg35656#msg35656 date=1412632872]Cory is fucking retarded[/quote

Offline Obbe

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Re: Has anyone read the bible?
« Reply #9 on: October 06, 2014, 04:04:01 pm »
I read the book of genesis illustrated by R. Crumb.  It's worth looking at if you're into that sort of thing.  It also includes his interpretation of the writings at the end of the book.
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Offline splooge gook

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Re: Has anyone read the bible?
« Reply #10 on: October 06, 2014, 04:05:55 pm »
modc raises a good point. if you feel ripped off by your purchase, at least you have an endless supply of rolling papers
Everything I post iz fiction

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"I fapped so much and talked to Semiazas. I was addicted from that point forward." - DARE

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Offline Obbe

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Re: Has anyone read the bible?
« Reply #11 on: October 06, 2014, 04:07:01 pm »
What's the difference between the versions. Has anything been removed/added?

You should also ask yourself what's the difference between translations, as it has been re-translated multiple times over the centuries.  I don't know if anyone has the answer.
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Offline Arnox

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Re: Has anyone read the bible?
« Reply #12 on: October 06, 2014, 04:11:30 pm »
Currently going through it. I highly recommend the standard King James version. The Bible is already incredibly full of holes so preferably, you want to get the version that's closest to the source material while still being readable for you. The King James version fits that.


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Offline mizled

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Re: Has anyone read the bible?
« Reply #13 on: October 06, 2014, 04:24:14 pm »
It's a weighty thesis, but it lacks verifiable sources.

Good prequel to the Book of Mormon though.
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Offline equanimity

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Re: Has anyone read the bible?
« Reply #14 on: October 06, 2014, 04:26:17 pm »
I took a "The Bible as Literature" class.  We skipped over most of it.


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