Well, I'm starting a job tomorrow

[Bart the General]

It's as a "food and beverage server" which according to my resume I've done before but really, lol, never. How hard can it be if it's predominantly done by females though? My last job before this was wiping down the tables in a dining hall for 15 mins after playing chess with my buddy for an hour or so or fraternizing with the other degenerates. I didn't even wipe down 1/3rd of the tables because I didn't like the people who sat there.

Before that, it was like 2008 or 2009 when I literally chopped down and climbed trees and my boss was a fucking cunt who definitely beat his wife daily and would drink and drive constantly. Wasn't on the books, lol.

So basically, how do I serve people food+drinks? Has anyone ever done this before? I'm personable when I want to be but there's really no telling how I'll feel about it tomorrow or the day after.

Really, all I know is from being served at restaurants, lol. There's training and stuff but I figure someone who's actually done it can help.

inb40replies

[ed rush]

Basically you just be personable and subservient, like a dog for your dining masters, take orders, and enter it into a POS system. Depending on the size of your business you might not even have to run your own food, just check in on your table from time to time to refill waters, clear plates and drop off a check. In between refilling your waters you might be expected to roll silverware or restock hand towels in the mens bathroom. You will soon master the art of slacking off on your phone any time you get the opportunity and bitching about "working my ass off" for some asshole that only tipped 10%.

[Bart the General]

Basically you just be personable and subservient, like a dog for your dining masters, take orders, and enter it into a POS system. Depending on the size of your business you might not even have to run your own food, just check in on your table from time to time to refill waters, clear plates and drop off a check. In between refilling your waters you might be expected to roll silverware or restock hand towels in the mens bathroom. You will soon master the art of slacking off on your phone any time you get the opportunity and bitching about "working my ass off" for some asshole that only tipped 10%.

Thanks, That's basically what I figured. I don't know anything about the POS system, if I don't know that it might be a red flag, is there something quick you know of to help me familiarize myself with it?

[ed rush]

POS stands for point of sale, there are many different kinds but they are all very similar. You will probably be using Dinerware or Aloha. They are just touch screen menus with different catagories like "Entrees" "desserts" ect. Then there will be sub catagories and a place to type in modifiers. They are pretty simple so just tell whoever is training you that you've never used "this one". It shouldn't take you long to figure it out.

[Idiosyncrasy]

I hate that the burden of labor compensation is placed on the customer. I hate even more that it's expected even for sub-par service. Somewhere in there, I hate that the art of good customer service has been lost.

Don't be a douche and treat your customers like your reason for existence is to cator to their each and every need, no matter how ridiculous, and you'll be alright.

[Bart the General]

POS stands for point of sale, there are many different kinds but they are all very similar. You will probably be using Dinerware or Aloha. They are just touch screen menus with different catagories like "Entrees" "desserts" ect. Then there will be sub catagories and a place to type in modifiers. They are pretty simple so just tell whoever is training you that you've never used "this one". It shouldn't take you long to figure it out.

Sweet, thanks, I'm actually kinda psyked, somehow I feel some good will come of this despite the fact that I'm getting a job just to basically say I have one, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna fuck it up

[equanimity]

You're supposed to bend the truth on resumes.  Not outright lie.

But yeah, you'll be fine.  For people without college diplomas or useful certifications, waiting is some of the highest paying labor you can find.  If you do it right.

[Bart the General]

It's kinda a complicated company and the first day will be working an "event" which is kind of a big deal, like internationally and stuff, I don't even want to say but I think there will be a modest amount of pressure on the wait staff, I just said I'd do that to impress them I guess but it'd be cool as hell too. I can't even really say it but it's gonna be cool but likely the only time I'll do something that important in this line of work

[equanimity]

It's kinda a complicated company and the first day will be working an "event" which is kind of a big deal, like internationally and stuff, I don't even want to say but I think there will be a modest amount of pressure on the wait staff, I just said I'd do that to impress them I guess but it'd be cool as hell too. I can't even really say it but it's gonna be cool but likely the only time I'll do something that important in this line of work

??

It's a job that comes with a fair amount of stress regardless, but of course you can do it.

[Bart the General]

Im a fucking class act

[Rook]

Dress sharp.. a bullshit smile.. attentive to the people your serving. Always good to somehow manage a laugh at every table. A friend of mine who was a server got told this by.. idk, another friend... But, supposively.. if you can get the people your serving to laugh or make them feel like they got you to laugh.. They will like you more and feel more of a need to give you a good tip. And that kinda makes good sense. Otherwise, just doing your job and being just another server.. what makes you so special? Standing out might help you make better bank. Goodluck regardless. 

[RustyShackleford]

Casually use sir when referring to men in addition to ^^^^ and you'll be rolling in tips.

[Daran]

DO NOT whip out your penis until their food has been served and you'll do alright.