I think I share 8/9 digits of my phone number with an unfortunate drug dealer

[burroughs]

The past few years I've received some strange but consistent calls, usually every 2 months or so. It usually goes like this:

*RING RING*

Me: Hello?

Person: YO IZ DIS [insert stereotypical black male name here]?!

Me: No, I think you have the wrong-

Person: WHERE [same muffled name] AT!?

Me: I don't-

*CLICK*

The unifying theme being that I can tell that most if not all of these callers are black, and that they're calling with a sense of uncertainty. There's no assumption on their part that they have the right number, and the conversation ends pretty abruptly after it's clear that they're talking to some young white boy.

About a year ago, this culminated with a barely discernible voice mail from some dude. From what I could make out he said something about being "at the spot" and was apparently looking for me (or my black doppelganger). I think I remember "running low" being a term thrown in there as well. No, I'm not joking. It was every bit as stupid and stereotypical as it sounds.

I live in a fairly white area, so I'd expect that if these were truly wrong numbers that I'd hear a white voice the majority of the time. Not the case. My area code does extend into the wastelands of Philadelphia, though. So given the nature of the calls, and the fact that, well, most drug dealers are black, that's my best guess as to who they're trying to reach.

So anyway, tonight I received a text from a number I didn't know, the mysterious figure breaking the ice with a simple "Hi". I told them I lost my phone awhile ago and all the numbers with it, and the only response I ever received was "Ok". Bored, I decided to spend $7.95 on a reverse cell phone look up. The owner of that phone turned out to be a fat, black, and weed loving lesbian from Philadelphia (thanks Facebook).

So what's my next steps, Sanctuary? Other than hoping someone doesn't reverse my phone and murder me when this guy gets in debt with the Tyrell from the **EaSt SiDe, NiGgA**.

Code: [Select]


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[MoaningLisa]

obviously

go buy some weed, meet up with fat weedloving lesbian, have hot lesbian sex

seriously though, I had a similar experience, I stopped to help two black strippers with a flat tire, and asked them for their number. they said they were on their way to killeen (where Saxet used to live) which is a predominantly black area. anyways, when I called the number, it became clear that they had given me a number to a whore house...and because I wasn't a customer the first time I called, they put me on the list of "potential customers to call on a slow night"

usually its a tuesday or wednesday when they call, never the same girl, but all very clearly black...and always free entertainment

[Infinityshock]

I had a junkie negress call a business line cell once. It left a message and I proceeded to have lols with the bitch via texting. Her term was 'trees'

Managed to get her to send me nudes, then had her drive on a wild goose chase around the county I live in

[Cerealkiller]

I had a 14-15yo text me one time telling his friend that his dad was gonna call and for his friend to act like their dad. I told him he had the wrong # and not to do anything stupid but have fun at the party.

[buddha]

Start selling, you already have a decent client base. may as well.


I lived in a house when I was younger, and for months after we moved in people kept coming by asking for "Pookie".

Nah, Pookie don' live herre.

[Infinityshock]

when you answer the door you should say 'yea...pookie is expecting you.  wait one.'

then sneak out the back door and around to the front, knock-out the caller with a baseball bat, and steal any money they have.  blind fold them and duct-tape them into the lithotomy position and rape them until they bore you.  then toss them into the woods a few towns over

when they finally escape their bonds...if they do...theyll think it was pookie that set them up

[Σ]

Start selling, you already have a decent client base. may as well.


I lived in a house when I was younger, and for months after we moved in people kept coming by asking for "Pookie".

Nah, Pookie don' live herre.

Around where I live "pookie" refers to a conventional meth pipe the meth heads around here use. I could imagine in some districts that term refers to a meth dealer or some sort of code used to identify someone a meth head could cop some meth from. It would be a lot easier to go to a "ghetto" area and ask if "pookie" is there till someone understands your jonesing rather than straight up asking for meth.

Also

[Tungsten.Chromium]

I actually worked with a black guy named pookie but since the term also refers to a meth pipe around here everyone called him "pokey" instead. 

As for the sharing a similar number with a drug dealer problem, you could answer with "[black drug dealer's name] is taking a shit, what you need fool?"  Assuming they reply "freebase cocaine" or any other slang term for it, reply with an outrageously high price (assuming you know local prices of freebase cocaine).  They will most likely proceed to tell you "you're trippin fool" and hangup.  If they are desperate enough and agree then tell them, "hold up", pause for 5 seconds, then say "[previous price X 10], its my last rock dog."  If they still agree, then at this point you do what IS said

[fanglekai]

Call your cell phone company and ask them to change your # because you're receiving harassing phone calls. Normally there is a charge for this because it costs the provider money to do this. Insist you are tired of being harassed by people trying to buy drugs. They'll waive the fee.

[Arnox]

Call your cell phone company and ask them to change your # because you're receiving harassing phone calls. Normally there is a charge for this because it costs the provider money to do this. Insist you are tired of being harassed by people trying to buy drugs. They'll waive the fee.

Have they waived the fee for you before then?

[Tungsten.Chromium]

Call your cell phone company and ask them to change your # because you're receiving harassing phone calls. Normally there is a charge for this because it costs the provider money to do this. Insist you are tired of being harassed by people trying to buy drugs. They'll waive the fee.

Have they waived the fee for you before then?

I've gotten my phone number changed twice and was never even asked to pay a fee.  May be different for different carriers though, I use AT&T

[Arnox]

I've gotten my phone number changed twice and was never even asked to pay a fee.  May be different for different carriers though, I use AT&T

How strange. AT&T are usually evil turds.

[Σ]

How strange. AT&T are usually evil turds.

Are  you or have you ever been an AT&T customer?

[Arnox]

Are  you or have you ever been an AT&T customer?

Nope, but I've heard of some of the terrible things they've done. I think they were mostly apparent when Apple made it to where their new iPhone had to be used with AT&T as a provider.

[Σ]

Are  you or have you ever been an AT&T customer?

Nope, but I've heard of some of the terrible things they've done. I think they were mostly apparent when Apple made it to where their new iPhone had to be used with AT&T as a provider.

I thought as much. AT&T is not evil as far as my experience went. I dont see what is turdish or terrible about striking an deal with a popular manufacturer. Maybe you could give me other examples of "terrible things" they have done.