Eating lots of chilli beans has given my butt formidable volcanic activity. Although no perilous ejection has been produced, scientists at the underground facility operating deep within the intestines of the beast, several hundred meters inside the caldera, are still on the alert. Meanwhile, tests on the suface apeak the volcano continue being positive that we have the capability of gassing shit onto any hostile threat -or friendly visit. What is certain is that we currently have little control over the formation of gas pressure inside the reaction chamber. So far we see ourselves forced to release the dangerous fumes into the atmosphere to prevent explosion. We advice any and everyone to stay away and shut their god damn nostrils.
For those interested in what is going on here at the plant, we are running educational tours, medicinal use and recreational high. But dont choke on the farts cause they smell like shit. Literally.
Free tours are given Mondays on the earliest hour possible, but you'll be like "fuck it, I wanna stay in bed. I'll just pay the wednesday visit".
An announcement to the public: Due to the wednesday tours guy getting mawed by the watcher in the black waters (sewer monster that inhabits the facility" and the emergency dude bailing out on us, there are currently no Wednesday tours (and the Monday tours we dont really do them cause they are too early and people are fucking lazy).
Only for reading this far, you can read the following survey to find out about your carbon footprint:
1. How many miles do you travel on average every week?
2. How many miles do you travel on weed every week?
3. Do you walk barefeet?
3.a. If No, do you use boots?
3.b. (if no on 3.a.), do you use sandals?
3.c. (if no on 3.b.) do you use high heels?
*3D Question: Are yu a Sluut?
4. Have you stepped over a coal?
5. (if yes on 4)You have a carbon footprint.
