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Messages - The Shark™

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1
Be honest with him when you do make a decision.

As long as he's a true friend with no agenda outside of caring for you like you're implying here, then he should understand your decision and support you wholly whether he agrees with you or not.

2
Based on accusations that you havent refuted...clicking on any of your links is less than a recommended course of action
Jeebus, this shit again. Ok chief, initial post edited with reviews.

3
Just went back and re-read my last two reviews on Amazon. Both of the products had other funny reviews written for them, so I figured I'd put in my 2c as well.

Enjoy.
Microwave for One
This review is from: Microwave for One (Hardcover)
This book continues to change my life day after day.

A few years back, I received an email from a nice Nigerian fellow who informed me that I inherited a $20 million from a late uncle that I never knew that I even had who was a petroleum engineer in Nigeria.

It was legit. I asked my mom about him and she denied it, but I knew she was just being coy and trying to keep me away from the family fortune. My mom is a sneaky woman. So I asked my father about him and he too denied it. He also went on to say that the whole thing was a scam. Joke’s on him though, because Prince Uchidi is for real. My parents are idiots and they won’t get anything from me after I get my cash. For my own piece of mind, I talked at length to the Prince about my late uncle and he told me about how my mother and uncle had an affair, manufactured and distributed crystal methamphetamine, but later had a falling out because my mother got all preggers with me and it was getting in the way (in more ways than one, I guess.) With my late uncle being a petroleum engineer and all, it makes perfect sense that he was so good at making meth. Sweet, delicious, burning meth. It also might explain my dependency on meth since birth. Delectable, mouth watering, painful meth. Either way, my folks can bite me, I aint giving them nothing when I get it.

Now fast forward to the present day. I am still waiting for Prince Uchidi to come through with my loot, but I am confident he will in due time. Anyway, since I have sent all of my money to him (and I continue to do so,) I had to make some financial adjustments here and there. Due to what doctors call a “full blown meth addiction”(?), I had a few medical problems to deal with, too. So I decided to donate blood, and that’s when doctors discovered all of the holes in my legs that I picked at relentlessly because of all of the bugs that were crawling on me after being up for five days. Everyone knows that when you stay up for long periods of time, you emit an odor that bugs flock (or crawl) to. Long story short, they cut off my legs because some of the open sores had become gangrenous. I was finally freed of my walking devices. Those pesky legs did nothing but attract bugs anyhow. So I sold my car for some cash and built a skate-crate. Basically, I took an old skateboard and bolted a milk crate to it. One day I plopped the upper half of my body into my skate-crate and paddled down the road to the public library. The trucks are quite loose and I fell over a few times, but after four hours to travel two miles, I finally made it. And I am so glad that I did.

That’s when I found this book. I checked it out thinking it’d come in handy since I couldn’t reach the refrigerator any longer, and my microwave lies neatly on my living room floor next to all of my other sundries and nick-nacks. Sweet Jeebus. This is the best book ever written, hands down. My usual nightly diet of Ramen and tears has since been coupled with such delights as Taquito Banditos and Duck Confit. Her recipe for Menudo is to die for. I am pretty certain that it’s 100% authentic too, as they’ve been using microwaves in Mexico for the last eight centuries or so. But what’s even more crazy is that Sonia Allison isn’t even Mexican. She must just have a knack (or gift as I prefer to call it) for helping upstanding (no self-pun intended), self-reliant members of society to better themselves.

And cook a few things along the way.

Meth.


Giant 5 Pound Gummy Bear
This review is from: Giant Gummy Bear approx 5 Pounds - Cherry Flavored Giant Gummy Bear (Grocery)
Fun for the Whole Family!

I purchased this behemoth so I could eat it on stage at my audition for `America's Got Talent.' I made it through his legs, arms and ears before I had to take a quick 5 because of the hallucinations (Jesus in the rafters holding a raccoon wearing sunglasses and Maya Angelou chopping wood in front of the White House are all that I can recall at the moment as it's difficult to remember on many levels for many reasons.) I then transitioned into tackling the torso. And wow. Just. Wow.

At this point, my jaw was in excruciating pain so I resort to punching myself in the face to try and numb it up. Luckily, the studio where the auditions are held is next door to a clinic so a Production Assistant ran over there and stole me a couple of whacks of Demerol (about 50 CC's, but again, all of this is pretty fuzzy.) So now that I'm hopped up on goofballs and what not, I can resume why I am there: to destroy this evil that I have now decided to start calling Ernie. I am not too sure why I chose that name. Maybe because in the days prior to my audition I was up for 8 days on a steady diet of meth, speedballs and liverwurst and watching Sesame Street on PBS, so it was all still fresh in mind. Yeah, that makes more sense.

Back to Ernie. I was making a nice dent in the torso and then the unthinkable happened. Sharon Osborne, (this was back when she was still a judge) accompanied by some security guards approached me on the stage and poked me with cattle prods. As I laid there motionless, all I could feel was the feeling of denseness in my tummy like I'd just eaten a sandbag, and the cold kiss of steel around my wrists.

Thereafter, I was interrogated. Heavily. I don't think they interrogated Ernie because he doesn't have ears anymore and he couldn't hear them. As it turns out, I never actually signed up for the audition (formalities, semantics.) I guess in my incoherent state of being up for so long, I stole this giant gummy bear from a patient at the clinic next door (along with the Demerol, so no PA stole it for me), walked into the studio, hopped on a forklift and drove it to the stage where the audition was.

And now my only Hollywood story of `America's Got Talent' is now referred to as `El Jefe's Got Diabetes'.

Either way, I haven't heard from Ernie since the trial.


 

4
Spurious Generalities / Re: My Contributions to The Sanctuary
« on: October 03, 2014, 03:20:55 pm »
Makes no sense. One of the best things a person can hope to be is kind.

I disagree.  The best things a person can hope is to survive.
Depending on how you look at it, there's a big difference between surviving and living. Some people would rather swallow blood than pride.

5
Bitch & Moan / Re: To Arnox and everyone here. Beware of "The Shark"
« on: October 03, 2014, 02:13:36 pm »
The Shark just sent me a file named 'sp0rkeh.exe'

Should I open it?
Hrm, I don't recall doing that. Can you please provide me with more information so I can investigate further into something I never sent you?

6
Bitch & Moan / Re: To Arnox and everyone here. Beware of "The Shark"
« on: October 03, 2014, 03:54:09 am »

I could make a small backdoor under 7kb that shows clean to every virus scanner out there (FUD), and once injected, it would open a port of my choosing which I could then use to log into and gain root access to any machine. I could load it into RAM memory so it would be invisible to most scanners. It's not hard at all if you know how to use the right executable packer and know the right code for the backdoor and know how to load it in stealth mode.

LOL
Ha, indeed.

SpectraL, I have a bridge for sale. Please PM for details.

7
Bitch & Moan / Re: To Arnox and everyone here. Beware of "The Shark"
« on: October 03, 2014, 02:48:37 am »
I didn't make repeated attempts to haxx0r your shit you fucking genius. I sent you one personal message. Your definition of "chatting" differs greatly from mine. And I think the rest of the world too, but that's for another day.

You happened to reply to the one PM I sent you earlier today right before I had to leave to go have dinner with my brother, sister in-law, nephew and recently widowed father. I decided to ask you privately if you were still in need of a $20 watermark because you posted the thread last month and I didn't see any updates whether your request had been fulfilled, so I figured I'd try helping you out. You seemed cool enough in your posts prior and like a decent forum contributor, so I thought maybe you've been around these types of things in the past, but alas, I'm sorely mistaken. You've lost a lot of credibility from me, and I'll just delete the other $50 watermark I managed to get my hands on for you since, as well.

There's no virus in the .psd document that I sent you. As a matter of fact, I've even sent it to you in .jpg format as well because I don't fuck people over. I sent that to you through your inbox because posting it out here in the open can lead to who knows what, and how many little kiddies asking me, "do you have this, do you have that" etc.

If you're going to play in this game you need to learn that if/when you go asking for a counterfeit watermark (openly, and in numerous denominations no less), you don't create threads like this you fucking dummy. This isn't a carding forum where you can call someone out for ripping you of cash. And don't forget to tell everyone that said I never wanted a penny from you even when you were offering $10 via MoneyPak.

If anyone wants the .psd so they can scan it for themselves, please PM me. Anyone that knows even the smallest bit about security will ask you the same thing: "you're kind of an idiot, aren't you?"

Wow.

And if you're going to call me out again, use my name properly little boy. It's The Shark™.

Its probably a misunderstanding but when I did click on your first link it did say you got a virus. Click on the first link if you dont believe me & see if im lying but it was probably from that website and not you. I'm going to do something that no one on Zoklet ever did lol and that's apologizing to The Shark for accusing him of something he wasn't.
I sent you the .jpg link which I uploaded to Imgur for you. I figured you might want the .psd file with the layer on it in the event that you would need to edit it. I have the $50 watermark too, but I'm not going to send it to you. Clearly you're someone who knows nothing about anything.

Relax man I already apologized. What would you think if someone gives you a link and you open it and it says you got a virus? I'm pretty sure it wasn't from you but probably that website. Thanks for the watermark.
You're welcome, hope it works out for you.

8
Bitch & Moan / Re: To Arnox and everyone here. Beware of "The Shark"
« on: October 03, 2014, 02:31:09 am »
I didn't make repeated attempts to haxx0r your shit you fucking genius. I sent you one personal message. Your definition of "chatting" differs greatly from mine. And I think the rest of the world too, but that's for another day.

You happened to reply to the one PM I sent you earlier today right before I had to leave to go have dinner with my brother, sister in-law, nephew and recently widowed father. I decided to ask you privately if you were still in need of a $20 watermark because you posted the thread last month and I didn't see any updates whether your request had been fulfilled, so I figured I'd try helping you out. You seemed cool enough in your posts prior and like a decent forum contributor, so I thought maybe you've been around these types of things in the past, but alas, I'm sorely mistaken. You've lost a lot of credibility from me, and I'll just delete the other $50 watermark I managed to get my hands on for you since, as well.

There's no virus in the .psd document that I sent you. As a matter of fact, I've even sent it to you in .jpg format as well because I don't fuck people over. I sent that to you through your inbox because posting it out here in the open can lead to who knows what, and how many little kiddies asking me, "do you have this, do you have that" etc.

If you're going to play in this game you need to learn that if/when you go asking for a counterfeit watermark (openly, and in numerous denominations no less), you don't create threads like this you fucking dummy. This isn't a carding forum where you can call someone out for ripping you of cash. And don't forget to tell everyone that said I never wanted a penny from you even when you were offering $10 via MoneyPak.

If anyone wants the .psd so they can scan it for themselves, please PM me. Anyone that knows even the smallest bit about security will ask you the same thing: "you're kind of an idiot, aren't you?"

Wow.

And if you're going to call me out again, use my name properly little boy. It's The Shark™.

Sounds to me like you tried to feed him a FUD trojan and failed.
Definitely did not try to do that at all. If I were going to try and hack someone for any shred of financial gain or otherwise, they'd better be willing to shell out more than $10 for counterfeit watermarks. Someone who does that openly in topside forums obviously isn't a baller of any sort. It'd be like knocking off someone's grandma for a fucking birthday check.

If you're so certain that, "I tried to feed him a FUD trojan and failed", then I will send you the exact same link that I sent him. I'll send it to you for a thorough analysis.

Watermark isn't against the law at all. Even posting a watermark pic isn't against the law. Talking about how to counterfeit isn't against the law. Doing it is against the law.
Well, posting that shit openly might draw some unwanted attention. Ever think of that? Wow. Just. Wow.

9
Bitch & Moan / Re: To Arnox and everyone here. Beware of "The Shark"
« on: October 03, 2014, 02:29:19 am »
I didn't make repeated attempts to haxx0r your shit you fucking genius. I sent you one personal message. Your definition of "chatting" differs greatly from mine. And I think the rest of the world too, but that's for another day.

You happened to reply to the one PM I sent you earlier today right before I had to leave to go have dinner with my brother, sister in-law, nephew and recently widowed father. I decided to ask you privately if you were still in need of a $20 watermark because you posted the thread last month and I didn't see any updates whether your request had been fulfilled, so I figured I'd try helping you out. You seemed cool enough in your posts prior and like a decent forum contributor, so I thought maybe you've been around these types of things in the past, but alas, I'm sorely mistaken. You've lost a lot of credibility from me, and I'll just delete the other $50 watermark I managed to get my hands on for you since, as well.

There's no virus in the .psd document that I sent you. As a matter of fact, I've even sent it to you in .jpg format as well because I don't fuck people over. I sent that to you through your inbox because posting it out here in the open can lead to who knows what, and how many little kiddies asking me, "do you have this, do you have that" etc.

If you're going to play in this game you need to learn that if/when you go asking for a counterfeit watermark (openly, and in numerous denominations no less), you don't create threads like this you fucking dummy. This isn't a carding forum where you can call someone out for ripping you of cash. And don't forget to tell everyone that said I never wanted a penny from you even when you were offering $10 via MoneyPak.

If anyone wants the .psd so they can scan it for themselves, please PM me. Anyone that knows even the smallest bit about security will ask you the same thing: "you're kind of an idiot, aren't you?"

Wow.

And if you're going to call me out again, use my name properly little boy. It's The Shark™.

Its probably a misunderstanding but when I did click on your first link it did say you got a virus. Click on the first link if you dont believe me & see if im lying but it was probably from that website and not you. I'm going to do something that no one on Zoklet ever did lol and that's apologizing to The Shark for accusing him of something he wasn't.
I sent you the .jpg link which I uploaded to Imgur for you. I figured you might want the .psd file with the layer on it in the event that you would need to edit it. I have the $50 watermark too, but I'm not going to send it to you. Clearly you're someone who knows nothing about anything.

10
Bitch & Moan / Re: To Arnox and everyone here. Beware of "The Shark"
« on: October 03, 2014, 02:25:58 am »
[Qoute]right before I had to leave to go have dinner with my brother, sister in-law, nephew and recently widowed father.[/qoute]
Why is that even relevant to post?

It's called "padding the story", to make it more believable to the average dumb-shit.
Not padding the story. Went to dinner at my brother and sister in-law's house. Granted, I could've said, "I went to dinner", but I didn't, and I'm not taking it back.

11
Bitch & Moan / Re: To Arnox and everyone here. Beware of "The Shark"
« on: October 03, 2014, 02:24:26 am »
I didn't make repeated attempts to haxx0r your shit you fucking genius. I sent you one personal message. Your definition of "chatting" differs greatly from mine. And I think the rest of the world too, but that's for another day.

You happened to reply to the one PM I sent you earlier today right before I had to leave to go have dinner with my brother, sister in-law, nephew and recently widowed father. I decided to ask you privately if you were still in need of a $20 watermark because you posted the thread last month and I didn't see any updates whether your request had been fulfilled, so I figured I'd try helping you out. You seemed cool enough in your posts prior and like a decent forum contributor, so I thought maybe you've been around these types of things in the past, but alas, I'm sorely mistaken. You've lost a lot of credibility from me, and I'll just delete the other $50 watermark I managed to get my hands on for you since, as well.

There's no virus in the .psd document that I sent you. As a matter of fact, I've even sent it to you in .jpg format as well because I don't fuck people over. I sent that to you through your inbox because posting it out here in the open can lead to who knows what, and how many little kiddies asking me, "do you have this, do you have that" etc.

If you're going to play in this game you need to learn that if/when you go asking for a counterfeit watermark (openly, and in numerous denominations no less), you don't create threads like this you fucking dummy. This isn't a carding forum where you can call someone out for ripping you of cash. And don't forget to tell everyone that said I never wanted a penny from you even when you were offering $10 via MoneyPak.

If anyone wants the .psd so they can scan it for themselves, please PM me. Anyone that knows even the smallest bit about security will ask you the same thing: "you're kind of an idiot, aren't you?"

Wow.

And if you're going to call me out again, use my name properly little boy. It's The Shark™.

Sounds to me like you tried to feed him a FUD trojan and failed.
Definitely did not try to do that at all. If I were going to try and hack someone for any shred of financial gain or otherwise, they'd better be willing to shell out more than $10 for counterfeit watermarks. Someone who does that openly in topside forums obviously isn't a baller of any sort. It'd be like knocking off someone's grandma for a fucking birthday check.

If you're so certain that, "I tried to feed him a FUD trojan and failed", then I will send you the exact same link that I sent him. I'll send it to you for a thorough analysis.

12
Bitch & Moan / Re: To Arnox and everyone here. Beware of "The Shark"
« on: October 03, 2014, 02:09:08 am »
I didn't make repeated attempts to haxx0r your shit you fucking genius. I sent you one personal message. Your definition of "chatting" differs greatly from mine. And I think the rest of the world too, but that's for another day.

You happened to reply to the one PM I sent you earlier today right before I had to leave to go have dinner with my brother, sister in-law, nephew and recently widowed father. I decided to ask you privately if you were still in need of a $20 watermark because you posted the thread last month and I didn't see any updates whether your request had been fulfilled, so I figured I'd try helping you out. You seemed cool enough in your posts prior and like a decent forum contributor, so I thought maybe you've been around these types of things in the past, but alas, I'm sorely mistaken. You've lost a lot of credibility from me, and I'll just delete the other $50 watermark I managed to get my hands on for you since, as well.

There's no virus in the .psd document that I sent you. As a matter of fact, I've even sent it to you in .jpg format as well because I don't fuck people over. I sent that to you through your inbox because posting it out here in the open can lead to who knows what, and how many little kiddies asking me, "do you have this, do you have that" etc.

If you're going to play in this game you need to learn that if/when you go asking for a counterfeit watermark (openly, and in numerous denominations no less), you don't create threads like this you fucking dummy. This isn't a carding forum where you can call someone out for ripping you of cash. And don't forget to tell everyone that said I never wanted a penny from you even when you were offering $10 via MoneyPak.

If anyone wants the .psd so they can scan it for themselves, please PM me. Anyone that knows even the smallest bit about security will ask you the same thing: "you're kind of an idiot, aren't you?"

Wow.

And if you're going to call me out again, use my name properly little boy. It's The Shark™.

13
... And Rock & Roll / Agonizing Covers
« on: October 02, 2014, 09:35:40 pm »
I like when the kid runs away in the beginning.

Suffer.

14
Spurious Generalities / Re: I need ideas on how to piss off/ prank my mom
« on: October 02, 2014, 09:07:13 pm »
You could always fuck with her like this using an SMS Spoofer.
http://i.imgur.com/Aw18xFo.jpg
Instead of Cat Facts, you could use Westboro Baptist Church or something.

15
... And Rock & Roll / Re: The 10 song shuffle
« on: October 02, 2014, 08:39:45 pm »
^ I didn't see any artists that I personally care for in yours, so I'll go with I Need Drugs because I do, in fact, care for drugs. And need some.

Here's mine.
Well - Samiam
Scarecrow - Strung Out
Better Half - Jawbreaker
Life to Lifeless - Killswitch Engage
Jet Set Ready - Hot Water Music
You Are (The Government) - Bad Religion
Shut Me Out - Sick of it All
Jumping Someone Else's Train - The Cure
Accidents - Alexisonfire
Endless - Unearth

There's a fuckton more, but I'll stick with the allotted 10.

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