Got a great fantasy football story for you all, this is almost something straight out of that TV show "
The League" which is one of the best damn shows on television on FXX Wednesday nights.
First a little background. This is a keeper/dynasty league that has been around about 20 years, and the person in question has been a member of it close to 15 years. Yesterday morning our commissioner gets an email from one of the owners, and below is a few of the excerpts.....
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Well, my friends, my tenure as an auditor (manager of the Accounting and Auditing Department) at a CPA firm has come to an end. The firm decided to promote a person to assume my role in the organization effective November 1. I knew I was going to be shown the door after the promotions took place. I just pulled a Derek Jeter and decided to "retire" from the industry so I can implement a graceful and professional exit from a career I thoroughly enjoyed. Negotiations will conclude when I have a severance package in place so I can deal with a very sensitive personal matter which was triggered due to the idea that I must face a career change as a CPA.
Since we've been friends for a long time , I will share my diagnosis with you - mania and bipolar disorder. I was committed by my wife, father, and step-mother (like Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura and Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest) near my house as an inpatient from October 29 - November 4. Now, I am on the outpatient plan from November 5 to an indefinite end - to the point where I feel better and ready to go back to work. Short-term and long-term disability options will be considered as I enter the next phase of my life.
Due to this set of circumstances bestowed on me, it is best that I also retire from fantasy sports. My brain, as the supercomputer that it is, has limits with regards to stimuli of every day life. I will formulate plans for certain individuals to take over the teams, but I plan to offer advice or an opinion whenever asked. I love being involved in these leagues, but I cannot just choose one to play because I feel the other 5 would be slighted, and I care about you all too much to pick just one friend.
I always enjoy our friendship over the years, so it is necessary to change the scope of my life to make sure I stick around for a long time. I will generate ideas to keep my brain occupied as a Toyota rather than an Indy Car. I'll read emails from time to time just to check in, but I need time to heal. If you would like to talk at any time, please email me first, and I will return all calls to explain my current situation.
Hope all is well with you and yours as we embark on a different (and hopefully even better) relationship going forward.
I love you all very much.
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Ya gotta love this guy, huh? He's basically a stereotypical nerd, and its funny how his mind works. He goes off the deep end because like a lot of people in today's economic climate he simply lost his job. And then has the audacity to describe his brain like a "supercomputer", yet is too fragile to handle the "stimuli" of fantasy football! ELL OH FUCKIN ELL indeed!