This felt so fucking comical a while ago. What joke. God I hope I wasn't screaming about being on fire or burning or yelling god knows what. The only possible yell/scream (for help) I remember was when I was lying on my back near the fridge and reaching my hand upward and calling upstairs. I actually though I had face/chest palmed onto a fucking hot plate (which, by the way, was beginning to look bizarre). Even if I had my reflexive reaction would have been to immediately move away, even under DMT, and the burn wouldn't have been that bad because DMT doesn't need that much heat to vaporize. If I had landed on my chest, I was wearing a thick UC Berkeley hoodie and it probably wouldn't even have burned me. I wonder if I took too much. It seems you definitely can, at least for the vast majority of people. Generally they don't remember anything except that something terrifying had happened.
Damn man, you can't hang. Good thing you didn't IV it.
I probably would have been fine if I had been leaning back in my spot with my eye shades ready and had been launched into hyperspace with no time to panic or ability to resist, no worry about being burned. Sheeit, that was fucking intense. I wonder what would have happened if it was gone well.
What do you think your neighbors think of you?
I've lived here about a year and a half and have almost never said a word to anyone, I try to avoid crossing paths and making eye contact with them as much as possible. They probably think I'm creepy/weird, and rightfully so, or at least very shy and introverted, possibly insane and dangerous. Who knows what gossip they've come up with. The setup is odd, it's a large two story house, but a 1 bedroom is separate from the rest of the house (the door leading into the garage is blocked). I rent the one bedroom, a Hispanic family lives in the rest. I don't know anything about them, except they have kids and often have relatives and their kids over. Judging by their cars, they seem to probably be at least decently well off, I think one's a Volkswagen Golf, another might be an electric or hybrid, along with various other cars belonging to various people in the family. Never had any problems with them, we keep to ourselves.
I remember only about two instances of having spoken to anyone. During one I happened to be about to go out the gate at the same time someone was coming in, and they said something like "Do you want the gate open?". Another time my mail forwarding must have expired and who I assume is the grandpa brought over two envelopes, knocked on my door, and asked, "My friend, is this you?" "Then, wearing my dorky fingerless rag wool gloves I reached out for them, looked at them for a second, then awkwardly said, "Oh, yes, it's not supposed to be sent here." He gave a slight non-condescending chuckle, possibly influenced by my gloves and demeanor, and said "Okay." Yep, I don't think anyone even knew my name until that point, unless the landlord had told them.
Oh, and the children occasionally try to spy on me by pressing their face against the screen door or looking through my bedroom window. Totally not cool, I could be plugging something, or naked. It's never really bothered me that much. I have an extreme range of awareness and almost always catch them when they're doing it or about to. They refer to me as "moustache man/guy". Once I caught a boy, relative of theirs, leading the way, looking though my door by using a hand mirror near me to look behind me, then I closed it and heard them say "he heard us" when they looked again and saw that it was closed. Then I heard them move over to the bedroom and look in, with the girl saying, "It's a mess!". How rude, major invasion of privacy and then that. I keep my clothes on the floor in sorted piles and things in boxes because it's convenient and reduces unnecessary furniture. I vacuum thoroughly every day, which is easy since the area I need to clean is small. Then the boy started knocking on my door and running away with the girl, repeating the cycle multiple times. I ignored them because I didn't really care and wanted to let them have their fun.
Then another day they seemed to be in the mood for pestering me, I noticed a few occasionally glimpsing through the door, then noticed all their faces pressed against it and sternly said, "Hey, don't do that." They slunk away and looked guilty, like they knew they'd been caught doing something wrong. Occasionally see a face attempting to spy on me. If they keep doing it I'm going to confront them and say something along the lines of, "How would you feel if I went over there and was peeking through your doors and windows? I'm never in your yard. I don't mind if you play here, but no more spying on me or I'm going to have to tell your parents. There's nothing interesting in here. Possibly, maybe if they ask why I never talk: If it's an adult: "You're a family, I don't want to bother you." Kids: "We're just neighbors. Do you ever talk to your neighbors on the other side?" (I doubt it, I think they might be Black). I just like to leave people alone.
Guh, eventually they probably would have lost more and more interest as time went on, if it hadn't for this setting things back. Fortunately it's holiday season and they'll be distracted. I don't know if I only yelled once. If I did, then the impact may not be that bad with the way I handled it. But they seemed scared and wouldn't answer the door when I was giving my false story about what had happened. And I think one of their cars may have quickly driven away. Hopefully it was unrelated and they weren't taking away their children due to fear for safety or myself. Who know what they thought had happened. Maybe they thought I had been attacked/killed (good, because I would bet the victim), hopefully not the reverse and worried that I was dangerous, or had suffered a psychotic break. My note was pretty great, though. I am a good tactician. Well written, perfectly sane, understanding and concern for others, a reasonable explanation of what had occurred, apologizing for what had occurred.
Really, I need to think of a new technique for dealing with new close proximity neighbors rather than just ignore them. Introduce myself, well dressed with every trick in the book (highly recommended:
http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Anyone-Success-Relationships/dp/007141858X) and bear extravagant gifts. And then I gradually distance myself until I can completely ignore them and pretend I'm just extremely busy.
