What's so great about celibacy?

[fanglekai]

what the fuck. garlic is good. this thread is shit.

[kolokol-1]

Well, okay.  The practice of celibacy is supposed to have several benefits, each of which leading to a mind more conducive to enlightenment.  The obvious one: celibacy is hard, especially if you're so dedicated that masturbation is out.  Not touching yourself and abstaining from sex is often difficult, or so I'm led to believe.  Hard things are worth doing (lol) for the simple fact that they are hard.

^Celibacy is an exercise in discipline.  And more than that, since you maybe probably would struggle a little with it, you have a chance to explore your mind and being that much more closely.  Carefully investigate your desire.  Come to understand the power said desire has over you, and your actions.  By remaining celibate and embracing your desire, you will be more practiced in the art of conquering the unhealthy attachments you have.  This practice would be useful in all aspects of life.

Celibacy also prevents you from hurting yourself or others with your sexuality.  Hopefully this wouldn't happen regardless, but you never know.  Related post I made before:

Just what exactly is sexual misconduct in the Buddhist faith?  Is it okay to be gay?  Is it okay to have threesomes?  What do the scriptures say about anal sex, contraception, and BDSM?

That's a good question, equanimity!

The way I've heard it explained by modern (also Western) spiritual leaders/Buddhist authors is that sexual misconduct is when your actions may be harmful to yourself or someone else.  So, is it okay to be gay?  Of course it is.  A person can't help who they're attracted to, and in the event that someone is "hurt" by your sexuality (say, in the case of a very traditional parent) it wouldn't be you hurting them.  Rather, their understanding of societal norms and outlook on sexual morality is in direct conflict with reality.  Their delusion harms them, and you're unfortunately caught up in all that harmful delusion.

Are threesomes okay?  As long as everyone involved is adult enough not to get hurt, and everyone's consenting.  Might be best to avoid in many situation because of the possibility of jealousy and such, but if you can make it work then more power to you!

Anal sex?  Well, I have no idea what the writings have to say about it.  Probably something; there's always sex mixed up in our religions.  But again, it should be fine.  Same with contraception.  Religion needs to adapt to modern life, hopefully without losing sight of its initial vision.  Buddhism is attractive partly because it does just that.

Now BDSM is a very interesting piece to this topic.  The general rule is that if no one gets hurt everything is just peachy, right?  Well BDSM kind of hurts by nature.  Does that make it wrong?  I'd say no, but there are definitely exceptions.  If you find the light pain play pleasurable and hot then that would probably be totally okay.  Even the more hardcore stuff.  Where I see it potentially becoming an actual problem is when it crosses over into the realm of unhealthy psychological experience.  If your partner hurts you and you don't like it but don't want to upset them, you might be doing yourself some harm.  If you're into being humiliated and used this could pose a problem, and your self-esteem may suffer.  Each case is different and this stuff gets pretty complicated, but you should know if you're being hurt or if you're hurting someone else.  Unless you're really well steeped in delusion, these things are generally pretty clear.

Use your head.  Make good decisions.

And uhm.  What else.  Oh yeah, onions.  Another reason sex and masturbation is kinda sorta maybe a hindrance on the path toward spiritual awakening is that during those acts we tend to lose sight of ourselves.  Like how onions and garlic excite the senses and are devil foods (not really but yeah this is a thing), sexual acts are a direct cause of turbulent minds and wild souls.  The goal is a serene calm; that we might contemplate what is quietly.

That's what's so great about celibacy, I guess.

But then you just start having sex dreams, which pretty much do the same thing as masturbation but better

[equanimity]

Wow, I had no idea there were so many immoral masturbators here!

[Suicidal Fish]

Wow, I had no idea there were so many immoral masturbators here!

I say this in the kindest way.

But get laid.

[Nigger Nostrils]

Well, okay.  The practice of celibacy is supposed to have several benefits, each of which leading to a mind more conducive to enlightenment.  The obvious one: celibacy is hard, especially if you're so dedicated that masturbation is out.  Not touching yourself and abstaining from sex is often difficult, or so I'm led to believe.  Hard things are worth doing (lol) for the simple fact that they are hard.

[Rook]

I think celibacy has it's perks.. But it is all situational dependent. For a Virgin, who strives to get laid for the first time celibacy will more than likely become a cause for stress, and lead to distraction from otherwise self-improvement. However, for someone who has been in a long term relationship or has went through ha break up, putting your sex life on pause can possibly be one of the best things you can do for yourself. Often an overactive relationship will grow stagnate, and repetitive actions grow tiresome. It's in these situation where slacking off from sexual activity can have a positive effect on those involved.. Especially after a bad break up.. Lack of sex and focus on it will often inspire you to better yourself, get in better shape, and focus more endearingly on things you are passionate about. The practice of being celibate doesn't necessarily mean going without sex for the rest of your life.. Short term goals of.. "I will go a week without wanting/pursuing sex" and sufficient, and free up your mind for other endeavors..

 Another thing, the practice of occasional celibacy is really a testament to human will. Most people are slaves to their sexual desire, and while even I use to think that was cool or preferable.. I've come to find that it is not. I believe sexual addiction is real and can consume a person.. Spend hours upon hours watching porn and wonder where the time has gone, inability to go to sleep because your mind races with sexual images, unable to enjoy the finer qualities of a wonderful relationship because of your constant sexual advances, etc.. It's alright to have that animal side, but controlling it will lead to a much happier life than it controlling you.