Spoke with my therapist today. Didn't even need to bring medication up, as she did haha. Guess I must seem pretty messed up.
Now I really need to decide which medication to ask for. Could just go with the psych's recommendation, but that's never gone too well before. Wellbutrin might be the way to go. When I was taking effexor I was sweaty, experiencing slight tremors and dealing with sort of minor stomach issues... namely nausea. From my readings it looks like wellbutrin may be more of the same, which is not great but something I can deal with if it really helps.
Not sure if I should try for lithium again, or benzos. The lithium of course requires regular blood tests and that's annoying, but if the suicidal thoughts keep up then yeah. Benzos... I used to be an addict, and there's some concern of that happening again. Guess I should just be completely open and honest with the psychiatrist when we meet. Kinda nervous about it, and not sure why.