Divorce: Up n Run?

[DaGuru]

is there a name for this odd syndrome where people defend people with money just because they have money? Is it a just a coincidence I'm seeing this behavior in two completely unrelated threads?

LOL....I'm not a guy defending another guy just because he has money, instead a father giving another father the benefit of the doubt when you are discussing something so extreme about taking his kids out of the country. Perhaps you yourself have some insecurity issues about finances to read that into my statement, but those are your own demons to conquer.

The whole point is, up to this point you haven't described ANYTHING so severe that merits him not having any contact with his children. He's not abusive, and IS making an attempt at being with them and feeding them too.....no matter what YOUR interpretations is of his culinary choices or what he deems as "quality" time. As for the sexual registery, do you know for a fact why he was registered? Have you seen court documents, or just taking your woman's word for it? Because in some states, someone on that registry could be something as innocuous as an 18 year old porking a 16 year old because mom walked in, or something as stupid as public urination.

You need to remove yourself from the emotional attachment of the situation, and look at it in the eyes of the rest of the world...especially the courts. With all the custody fights and other abusive horrors out there, this situation is timid in comparision. Not a judge in the world would justify him losing all contact, and surely not find it in the kids best interests to leave the country. And to an innocent party looking in....its seems more like you and your girl are doing the "leeching" here, since you are only in that house out of the kindness of the sister's heart. What can you or the kid's mom "provide", that this guy can't?

As for all the bitching about pricey and incompetent lawyers...yeah, that is what happens when normal people make a complete mess of their lives and need other people to sort it out. I hate attorneys just as much as the next person, but if you are going to get the legal system involved in your life's fuckups this should be an OBVIOUS expectation and headache you'll have to deal with for quite some time.

[theKit]

a father giving another father the benefit of the doubt when you are discussing something so extreme about taking his kids out of the country. Perhaps you yourself have some insecurity issues about finances to read that into my statement, but those are your own demons to conquer.

You're an idiot. If you knew the 'father' you're trying to defend you would understand the magnitude of your idiocy. Trust me, even on a purely humanitarian level, this is not a fight worth fighting.

The whole point is, up to this point you haven't described ANYTHING so severe that merits him not having any contact with his children.

Pretty sure I stated he was a drug addict and a pedobear, if you think those qualities are befitting of a parent, I feel a great deal of sorrow for your children.

He's not abusive, and IS making an attempt at being with them and feeding them too.....no matter what YOUR interpretations is of his culinary choices or what he deems as "quality" time.

Nice of you to assume - He has two cases with CPS for child abuse - they dropped them because his daughter is somewhat disabled therefore CPS has deemed her accusations untrustworthy. Her father blamed the physical evidence on his son. Police have had to been called twice to find his kids because while he was at home blazed as fuck, they never came home. - Real quality time there. Also - Multimillionaire feeding his kids McDonalds... Every Meal. Common bro.

As for the sexual registery, do you know for a fact why he was registered? Have you seen court documents, or just taking your woman's word for it? Because in some states, someone on that registry could be something as innocuous as an 18 year old porking a 16 year old because mom walked in, or something as stupid as public urination.

Wrong again. You know the registery is public information right? I'd post his listing but we're not allowed to post PI. 15 year old girl when he was in his 30s. He is also 'that guy' that travels to asian countries to 'experience the culture' if you know what I mean.

You need to remove yourself from the emotional attachment of the situation, and look at it in the eyes of the rest of the world...especially the courts. With all the custody fights and other abusive horrors out there, this situation is timid in comparision. Not a judge in the world would justify him losing all contact, and surely not find it in the kids best interests to leave the country. And to an innocent party looking in....its seems more like you and your girl are doing the "leeching" here, since you are only in that house out of the kindness of the sister's heart. What can you or the kid's mom "provide", that this guy can't?

That that is the whole point of this thread - Dude HAS MONEY - regardless of the fact that he is an obvious incompetent fuck up - HE HAS MONEY - therefore he could end up with full or partial custody of children - feeding them mcdonalds every day - PAY ATTENTION. It's not a matter of what we would provide vs what he could provide, its a matter of what we DO provide and what he WON'T.

As for all the bitching about pricey and incompetent lawyers...yeah, that is what happens when normal people make a complete mess of their lives and need other people to sort it out. I hate attorneys just as much as the next person, but if you are going to get the legal system involved in your life's fuckups this should be an OBVIOUS expectation and headache you'll have to deal with for quite some time.

Can't argue with that statement.

[edit] checked his record it was under 15 y/o

[Proots]

I've said it on Zoklet and I'll say it again here : the whole situation is something you have absolutely no right whatsoever injecting yourself into, let alone commenting on or trying to manipulate the outcome thereof. Leave her. Otherwise, stay out of it. I know you care about her, but this is between her, her husband and her children. You can be there for her for emotional support, that's understandable. Just heed what I said above.

[DaGuru]

Kit, while I understand you are emotionally attached to this situation, you've only brought one new factoid to any of this that might have SLIGHTLY altered my opinion. You can't prey on my emotions with empty declarations of "addict and pedo", because so far you've proven neither.

All you've talked about his drug usage is "he is blazed" which implies he's only smoking reefer. I myself don't have a problem with that, and know many successful and stable fathers/businessmen that smoke weed regularly.

And there are plenty of threads on these boards arguing the concept of kid fucking, so I won't spend much time on that note. But very quickly, he is NOT a pedo in the proper sense of the definition of the word. Unless he was diddling her in her sleep at a slumber party, or dropped a roofie in her drink to take advantage of her......I don't have any problems with 15 year old females being interested in and seeking out cock. As I said earlier those child registries have all kinds of people on them for the most absurd and innocent reasons, and what you just briefly described is a perfect example of that.

What does give me pause though is the CPS cases, although I do find it interesting they didn't act on either charge. Not saying he did NOT do it, but there are also plenty of vindictive and spiteful women that will lie and use the system while dealing with an ex and trying to get full custody of kids. Only time will tell, I guess.

And you said earlier.."is about to inherit money"...so he isn't that millionaire yet. You being so focused on him giving his kids a Happy Meal might have some nutritional merit, but at the same time he might only be trying to win emotional brownie points by giving them what they like. If he DOES have very limited visitation with them, and has a crazy ex filling their heads with all sorts of crazy bullshit and drama....I totally understand why he is trying to satiate a kid's most basic needs with "fun food", instead of putting a plate of broccolli in front of them and making them clean their plate.

As Proots just said, you can't whiteknight for this family and no matter how much moral indignation you build up inside yourself it won't help the situation at all. The cops don't care, the courts don't care, the rest of society doesn't care.....all you are to them is the guy currently sticking your dick in the mother. ALL that really matters is finite things like regular work history, proof of stable residence that SHE is providing, things like that. Leaving the country won't do anything in her best interests, and only prove to the state how impulsive/unstable her actions and life can be.

[theKit]

Ok it's great you know people who can handle their bud but that is not the case here otherwise I never would have mentioned it. The guy has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder so no matter what he always puts HIMSELF first, HIS wants, HIS desires hence the reason he is an unfit parent. I am not overplaying the pedo thing either - the record states that he forced a girl under 15 to have sex with him. The record doesn't say how old she was but his sister said 13. There was a trial, the girl and witnesses testified against him, he pleaded guilty to the charges and already did time so, no this is not a case of Gentleman Gets Screwed By The System. Also, as I said - He has traveled to many asian countries for no other reason that to fuck young (probably) children. I've discussed his travels and he really knows NOTHING about the places hes visited, doesn't speak a lick of anything but English.

As I said  CPS decided not to put their fist up his ass because his daughter is disabled and they couldn't count on her testimony. His 'spiteful woman' didn't get them involved, the school did when his daughter told them why she kept coming to school with fresh bruises.

Where the fuck did I say he was 'about to' anything? YOU said that. As I've already said, THE GUY HAS MONEY - if he wants to win over his kids with food he could be doing a shit ton better than mcdonalds - which hes doing because hes CHEAP, not because they like it.

Reread the OP - This is not about me - I've kept out of the situation until now because HE decided to bring me into it by using the fact that I live here against her, which has nothing to do with the case. He abandoned them - I met his wife - We started living together as a family - he comes back and finds his place on the outside of the family. But all that is irrelevant. What I need is someone to evaluate the circumstance and determine if getting out is in her and her childrens best interest. Also - it doesn't matter wtf the state thinks if shes living in her home country.

She stands to gain a few thousand dollars from this divorce (less than 100k)
She stands to lose - full custody of her children to someone who has proven himself an incompetent parent.
- the ability to leave the country
- felony(?) charges from DHS or at least a hefty fine
- a shit ton of money due to this greedy ass lawyer
- her home, when he decides to evict her too.
- ME because I'm not being a 3rd parent - if hes not out - I'm out.

[LOVE]

Kit,

Even taking everything you've said on your word as face value, the mother really doesn't have her priorities straight if all she cares about is trying to get a slice of the money, and I get the impression that the divorce would be settled sooner with less stress on the children and the custody possibilities annihilated for the father if your girlfriend wasn't keeping them open for the possibility of money. I feel a sadness for these children.

I am with Proots when I point out that it is best for everyone if you keep way out of this situation.

P.S. 'Your' legal counsel fucking sucks, and 'your' representation sounds like a fucking crook. If you're going to go outside of your moral right here and have influence in the situation, for fuck's sakes do it for the children's best interests and those are the following: Tell the mother to straight up fire her lawyer ASAP, find a decent one who isn't corrupted by the promise of a slice of inheritance and instead specialises in family cases not divorce cases, then have the divorce w/ custody settled without a fucking mention of the money. Anything awarded is a bonus.

Edit:

Look, after seeing your edit here's my moral argument - if the children are naturalized or born citizens with established lives in America then it is wrong to remove them from the country and culture for spite or even to flee justice. If they are Japanese and guaranteed a quality of life in Japan that the circumstances created by the divorce, as well as being quite young, then in their sake I do not personally find moral fault in their relocation to Japan. If they however not Japanese then it is a poor decision.

You must also understand a single mother in Japan the life she will live (and so an emphasis on support over there and future opportunities for the children), and that you as a white American will never ever bring welcome. Then again, none of this is rightfully your concern outside of removing yourself from the situation you are being dragged into, and a humanitarian level of concern for these children.