So.
Today I'm really feeling awful. Worse than yesterday. The reality that I've missed so so many classes by being hospitalized, and then just staying home hating myself, is catching up with me. My life has been interrupted so many in the past because of my insanity, but I thought things were really beginning to change and I was on my way toward completing school and starting an actual career. Now that doesn't seem like a possibility anymore, and I'm going to live out my days working low wage jobs while being utterly alone. A part of me is hoping that I'll hang myself and just get it over with, but that's probably not going to happen. Not today, anyway.
Where to go from here, I wonder.