after last night being stupid/my normal self/pondering or whatever decided to take levocarb (levodopa/carbidopa basically pure dopamine pills used for parkinsons) also read up on it after finding 3 of what looked like valiums in an old pill bottle I found but looked up the markings and found it was the levocarb, also having a marplan (MAOI) that I found a while ago and have been saving in my lockbox for a special occasion and thought mixing the 2 would be a surefire way to go into vasospasm cardiac arrest or V-fib, having a heart attack or something cause I already have the heart deformities, blah blah
after taking the marplan and 2 levocarbs I also took a few robitussin gels I had, not much maybe like 120 or so mg of dxm and the whole night my muscles were fucking tight as hell and I had a very noisy intestines, moonface, and a fever along with other signs of serotonin syndrome which was really fucking awful
so after mixing the MAOI, the levocarb and dxm surely this equates to death, and very high blood pressure before death
took my BP, was high, but not above a rediculously dangerous range. This is what puzzled me, in my extremely fucked up way maybe I didnt take it properly or misread but maybe
my cardiovascular health isn't as bad and since I didn't die after all this drug abuse my body is still relatively sustaining life, its the day after I'm still pretty messed up, my circulation in my legs is terrible and I'm somewhat jaundiced, and my left arm is numb cause I had a shitload of blood vessels collapsing the whole night and could see under my skin how fucked up it was and it was the most unbearable pain you could imagine, my neck is very stiff I think to a buildup of spinal fluid or something cause when I pressed on my tendon on the back of my neck I think something ruptured and some fluid is leaking in my sinuses and my head pressure is rediculous
I'm finally sick of my shit, I don't want to sit around doing dxm and going psychotic, I have my focalins, I'm motivated to have a purpose in life and start fixing my old battered self, I've been doing leg presses and lifting weights after I smoke lately and I feel overall like this near death or whatever didn't even cause me to have this epiphany or whatever, like I'm not a changed man didn't die so im gonna spend my life cherisihing shit, none of that, its like this didn't effect me but also kind of proved that even overdosing one day I can wake up and not want to feel like shit, plus I have to step up and get my shit together and try to find a job because my father got canned, has a whole bunch of medical expenses and mental stress to deal with, as does my mom, and my sister is an immature fuckin brat who quit her job because she wants to spend more time driving her fucking nigger spic friends around and then drive my father and I under the bus to all the relatives because she can't keep her mouth shut
I'm gonna see if I can get my old job back at the cosmetics/drug store because when I got fired my boss's attitude was he respects me and said to get my act together and maybe come back in a few months if there's an open position, its only minimum wage but whatev
tl;dr half assed to OD for the lulz, didn't die, stopping being a DXM robo sperg
