Greetings citizen!
Are YOU threatened by communism, nazi robo-sharks or ninja grannies?
Need to defend yourself against an assailant that woke up one day and thought, "You know, I'm gonna get into a fight with a random person today."?
Well in this small guide, I hope to arm you, the average, law abiding, docile citizen with vital information that could save your life in a situation of impending physical harm. This post will act as a pool for such tools, I realize as humans violence is second nature so a lot of this will seem obvious, because well it is. Realize what you are doing when making a weapon. Understand what you take from someone when you harm them. Realize that in every human lies a crazed, sorrow soaked child filled with ceaseless strife. I digress, my rant is done. But first! Some quotes.
"And so, to the end of history, murder shall breed murder, always in the name of right and honor and peace, until the gods are tired of blood and create a race that can understand." ~George Bernard Shaw
“Violence isn't always evil. What's evil is the infatuation with violence.” Jim Morrison
“Much violence is based on the illusion that life is a property to be defended and not to be shared.” Henri Nuowen
(DISCLAIMER: This article is purely informational and can be considered a survival guide for a crazy mixed up world. Defend yourself, don't add to the violence. I am not responsible for any harm or death caused by these techniques, by reading further you release me of such responsibility. Good luck, the power lies with you. Strike well and pure.)
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<<DIY defensive tools>>
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In tool making one must consider their strengths and weaknesses. Is reach a concern? Speed? Reflexes? Power?
All personal details must be brought light in order to properly arm oneself.
The Hanbo.
[Length 90 centimeters. It must reach your knee or go a little past.]
Staff, club, hanbo, stick whatever you'd like to call it, this simple tool has been used for countless years and still proves useful in many situations. Choosing what it is made of must be according to you and your needs. Wood is light, fast, flexible, non-conductive, prone to splintering and can be readily sharpened. Metal is dense, slower, more rigid, conductive to heat and electricity and prone to denting and the ever painful feeling received when striking something hard with it. The hanbo are traditionally used in pairs, utilizing their lightness to create a whirlwind of attacks. The one staff jabs and swings at the assailant trying to open them up, once the guard is open the second delivers the strike. Jabs are also very effective as long as one is aware of human pressure point systems. The shins are often a great place to strike due to their exposure to nerves, be warned some people are numbed to this. These are great weapons when dealing with a knife wielder because they offer reach and a punishing effect, especially if weighted but we will get into modding the tool later.
Easy to hide and silent they are great stealth weapons. A cut broom stick, tree branch, pvc pipe or a metal tube, all are usable for the hanbo. Even better if they screw together into a larger staff as well, this offers many options if it is hollow such as hidden tools and or sand within it for a surprise. Carving a curved cup into the end of the staff allows one to scoop sand and such when fighting, this applies to all staves. When wielding, strike evenly, go through don't bounce off and use both ends. I suggest practicing with it so to create your own technique you are comfortable with as this is a tool that has many uses.
(Little tip. If your turn a piece of pvc into a Koncovka which is a slovakian flute with no holes, it makes carrying a hanbo all the easier. Plus, you get an instrument!)
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And now a little something I cooked up.
"The innocent bystander."One newspaper, larger the better.
One metal pole either from a lawn chair or scrap.
A string, fabric strip or rubber band.
This little surprise will devastate someone who assumes you to be defenseless. They should know better now shouldn't they? Remind them with the innocent bystander. Slip the pole into the rolled newspaper and tie it up, make sure the pole is sufficiently covered. Now just go about the day casually carrying the paper, carry it like its light, be sure to keep it casual and keep attention away from it. When the wrong assailant comes to bring the pain, little do they know you are not the innocent bystander you appear to be.==============================================================================================
The Defensive power of duct tape or electrical tape!
By using strong tapes, one can create surprisingly strong and at times, complex, tools! Leave me alone in a room with a roll of duct tape for ten minutes and I will look like a silvery adhesive ninja.
[Feel free to share your own tape experiments! This section, along with the rest, will expand over time.]
I once taped a long, thin spring after folding it, then placed a spike in on end. The end loop is good for taking a a weapon away or anything a loop can be used for. The flexibility of the taped spring allows for odd, erratic attacks, slashing, clubbing and can be used for arm locks.
Tape also improves the bang of fireworks, making the gases harder to be released.
Say you have a club, bat or baton. It needs more oomph. More...zazz!
Duct tape.
By taping nuts, bolts, nails, chains, or steel ball bearings to them. The added weight really brings the point of "leave me alone" across.
It can also bring you to modify or alter the tool entirely. A baton, now a mace for example.
Duct tape two knives to a broom stick, spear.
Duct tape is also good for making homemade body armor if you're crafty enough. Layer it with plastic and thin sheet metal and it can be a good light addition to your defenses.==============================================================================================
<Pacification powder>
[Consists of assorted spices and powders used in hopes to diffuse an attack and flee to safety.]
More of a reactionary tool than a offensive one, the blinding powder is one we have seen in effect in everyday life. smoke snapping the eyes shut, sand creating worlds of pain, Talcum floating and sticking to the eye in an itchy cloud. This happens to be one of my favorite non-life threatening tools because of its effectiveness and ease to make.
Firstly you'll need a vessel. I suggest a black film canister due to the ease of lid removal but I understand they are harder to find due to digital cameras being popular. Several paper towels bound with a rubber band, an M&M minis container, a mentos gum container, a waterpoof match jar etc. Be sure you can open it in a flash and with one hand as the application of the powder must be swift and smooth as this is a weapon that can backfire on you. This is important, Watch. The. Wind. You do NOT want this shit in your face.
Making it:
sight friendly version.
2 parts talcum powder ( this is the base. adds cloud effect.)
1 part chili powder.
1 part cayenne powder
1 part cinnamon
1 part onion powder
1 part Mrs. Dash or anything else smelly and strong.
Once done this shit will smell FOUL. If it gets in the face, watery eyes, a burning nose, coughing or choking and even vomiting or a deadly allergic reaction are all possible outcomes.
Blinding version.
2 parts ajax bleach powder
1 part sand
1 part iron fillings
1 part ash from a fire
1 part ground match heads
If this gets in the face, scratched lenses, blindness, silicosis, respiratory issues and possibly vomiting are possible side effects. This kind is to be used with the utmost wisdom.
Grind it all into a fine powder and viola! Deliver the blow when the clinch is made or your personal space boundary has been moved in on, gauge the wind and release it in an arc going left to right. Creating an arc makes the cloud hard to avoid. One could also blow into the container or into the hand and deliver it that way. A hollowed eggshell is also a good vessel albeit fragile.==============================================================================================
The proper molotov cocktail. Fun for riot parties! 
A tool of many black bloc and rebel groups. It is a simple yet extremely effective means of making distance or destroying military police vehicles. Everyone usually knows generally how to make it, this will merely go in more detail.
Fuel: Pour gasoline into a pot and let it eat styrofoam as much as it can. Alternately, mix tar or soap. Any flammable fluid can be utilized as fuel. Other thickening agents include dish soap, egg whites,blood, sugar, tar and oil. The Polish army created a mix of sulfuric acid, sugar, and potassium chlorate that ignited on impact, thus eliminating the need for a lit fuse.
Bottle: Jack, wine, vodka. As long as its sturdy and easy to heave. Be sure to tape the fuse well. Some people even make it fuseless by placing impact explosives on the bottle.
Average fuse: a gas soaked rag or T shirt will do fine. If wicks are available that would allow a more predictable detonation but more fussing with it so it works with the fuse.
Timed fuse: Soak a tampon in acetone. Pack cotton balls around an M80 or any other powerful explosive that fits in the neck. Squeeze the tampon down, light and wait.
Other improvised combustible tools include:
The old cigarette in a matchbook thrown in a wastebasket trick. Good for timed fires used for distraction and chaos.
Thermite. Ahh thermite, it will receive its own section as time goes on. Mix one part aluminum powder and one part iron oxide (rust) and light it with magnesium strips (silver sparklers work, the metal ones) This volatile science experiment from hell burns half the hotness of the sun and cannot be put out. Mix with molding clay for controlled burns. Put it on an engine block and it will melt through like hot slag. The only thing that can contain it is pottery clay. Get this, its legal too! not an explosive because it burns instead of combusting violently. Easiest way to find the ingredients is home depot as it is sold as painting pigment.
"The Works" Aluminum foil and drain cleaner is a classic, thick bottles like gatorade work best. The gas it produces is hydrogen gas so this is feasible to clear a room. Instead of plastic, try glass or even better a five gallon jug for a water cooler. Like dynamite. Imagine making twenty and throwing them in a dumpster.
Aluminum foil and a ping pong ball is also a great quick smoke screen. Wrap it and leave a small tube like part so it looks almost like a hershey kiss. Then light the underside and poof! Toxic smoke!==============================================================================================
<<More to come in the future. Feel free to add to the pool.>> To conclude, I beg you, think before you ruin a beautiful son and daughter of the earth. Be safe. Its a crazy world out there. Use your tools with a mind filled of merciful purpose and swiftness.
And remember...
