Author Topic: Shoplifting Tips  (Read 570 times)

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Offline MarkedforDeathPsychotik

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Shoplifting Tips
« on: October 13, 2014, 03:19:40 pm »
This is a guide of what NOT TO DO!! (mostly):

This is basic but very easy to forget: DO NOT SHIT WHERE YOU EAT!!!!
-Do not go to your neighborhood WalMart or Target, because they will know who you are

-Always remember that there are CAMERAS AT THE ENTRANCE AND EXIT:
-It is very easy to accidently give them a nice clear shot of your face, this is because on your way in you are busy thinking about your heist, and when you are leaving you are thinking "I actually got away with it".

Don't steal things you want or need! Steal things that are small and will sell easily. GPS units sell incredibly easy and you are guarnteed at least 50 bucks, and diabetic test strips are REALLY GOOD AS WELL.

Always ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN AND STICK TO THE PLAN!!!! IF SOMETHING IN THE PLAN GOES WRONG, STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND WALK OUT, NEVER COME BACK!!!!

Say you had a couple of dog food bags sliced open with shit stuffed in them, and you feel like "I am not feelin this, I feel like I am gonna get caught.

So you put these back on the shelf, and you think everything is okay, WRONG.

THEY WILL FIND THIS BAG!!!! AND THEY WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU. IF THEY DO NOT HAVE DIRECT PROOF, THEY WILL WAIT FOR YOU TO STEAL AGAIN!!!!

Common Misconceptions:

-I'll wait a month and by then the heat will die down
-I'll keep going in and buy things and wont steal, then they will see that I dont steal
-WORST: I WILL GO IN FOR A MONTH AND NOT STEAL ANYTHING THEN THEY WILL TRUST ME

The people at WalMart have no fucking lives and will wait for you to enter again even if it has been a year, The more you go in the more they watch you.

NEVER NEVER EVER BE A CARELESS KLEPTOMANIAC. NEVER JUST OPEN A PACKAGE IN AN ISLE AND TAKE THE ITEM (EVEN IF IT COSTS $5, THEY WILL THROW THE BOOK AT YOU!!!!


THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSONS:

NEVER FUCK UP YOUR PLAN, IF YOU DO NEVER GO BACK!!!!!!


NEVER EVER TRUST THE POLICE. THE POLICE DO WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT AND ARE A BUNCH OF THUGS (WHO WOULD PROBABLY BE CRIMINALS THEMSELVES WITHOUT THE TIN BADGE).

WALMART LOSS PREVENTION CAN BE ANYBODY. MOST LIKELY: TEENAGERS THAT HANG OUT IN THE ELECTRONICS DEPARTMENT, by the video games. These guys are little wannabe tough guy bitches, never ever over look them!

They will call the cops

The violent fat fuck cop shows up, puts you in cuffs, parades you around the parkling lot, pushes you and then violently grabs you and says stop resisting, they will keep you for hours with tight hancuffs that almost break your wrists.

Walmart WILL FILE CHARGES AND WILL CALL THE COPS

COPS DO WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT!!!

Offline Prometheus

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Re: Shoplifting Tips
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2014, 01:58:15 am »
NEVER EVER TRUST THE POLICE. THE POLICE DO WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT AND ARE A BUNCH OF THUGS (WHO WOULD PROBABLY BE CRIMINALS THEMSELVES WITHOUT THE TIN BADGE).

...

COPS DO WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT!!!

Quoted for truth.

I know a klepto who couldn't follow those rules if her life depended on it. I have no idea how she hasn't been caught boosting dvds yet. It's partially my fault for teaching her about faraday bags, and it's mostly walmart's fault for selling her the insulated foil lined reusable grocery bag that she uses to steal their own shit. Fuck walmart anyway.
I'll try anything once, and twice to be sure.

Offline SBTlauien

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Re: Shoplifting Tips
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2014, 05:03:23 am »
-Always remember that there are CAMERAS AT THE ENTRANCE AND EXIT:

Not all stores have cameras at the entrance/exit.

Don't steal things you want or need! Steal things that are small and will sell easily. GPS units sell incredibly easy and you are guarnteed at least 50 bucks, and diabetic test strips are REALLY GOOD AS WELL.

Why?  Stealing items that you need will save you money.  After selling stolen goods, what will you spend that money on if you don't lift items you need?

The people at WalMart have no fucking lives and will wait for you to enter again even if it has been a year, The more you go in the more they watch you.

If they're even still employed there a year later.