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Messages - JanitorJesus

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1
Head Shrinkers / Re: fed up with life
« on: October 03, 2014, 01:07:45 am »
My bad, took what you said the wrong way.

Also sorry if I took a part in hijacking this thread a little bit, hopefully the OP can respond with his own thoughts on whatever subject..

Anyway, you are right equanimity. My main complaint is that, living in America, I, and no one else for that matter, should have certain (in this case opiate addiction) medical issues decided upon based on rather or not a doctor or doctors 'agree' with a certain method. For example, I had to deal with a doctor who told me he wouldn't help me "Replace one addiction with another."
If you've done any type of research or thought about the subject at hand very much at all, you'd realize what absolute bullshit that statement is. And BTW, this was the local 'addiction specialist'. I especially agreed with your point that we as citizens and people should be able to make our own informed decisions based on what we know. It's so frustrating not being able to just go to a doctor and tell them what you want, or need. They either feel entitled to control or fear losing their licenses. It's such a crock of shit. I feel like society hasn't adapted to the fact we live in an 'information age'. Literally anyone (of proper mental capacity) can learn anything. Certain knowledge that used to be valued is now public and available to literally almost anyone, at least here in America.

I pay taxes, I work, I do my fucking duties as a citizen even though I don't necessarily want to; I should be able to live my private life as I see fit, even if that's as an opiate addict. The way I see it, each and every fucking one of us has a crutch. As long as you don't use your crutch to beat on people, it shouldn't be taken away from you. Alienating certain people and using scapegoats only serves to create crime and violence, which is probably what they really want anyway, but I digress.

Anyway, I don't want to hijack OP's thread anymore and I hope OP is hangin in and doin alright.

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Head Shrinkers / Re: fed up with life
« on: October 02, 2014, 11:38:09 pm »
Quote from: equanimity on September 30, 2014, 11:10:36 pm
You're not SOL; there are always options.  Suboxone script?  You could just get clean.  It's rough but come on.  If a drug has that much control of your life it may be time to quit.

Don't blame the system for your not wanting to be productive haha.

As far as productivity in general goes, most people can't really be productive (or at least sustain an appropriate level) while in opiate withdrawal, or while in/out of opiate withdrawal on a daily basis. This is why Methadone/Suboxone treatment is beneficial.

I guess if we just followed your leadership and told all opiate addicts in America to 'get clean' we wouldn't have this problem. After reading the post I initially replied to, I kinda took you for a different kind of person, that was my mistake.

As far as me personally 'blaming the system' (whatever that even means) in regards to any recent lack of productivity on my part, I've been a productive member of society since I was 15, and the reason for my absence at work has nothing to do with 'not wanting to be productive'.

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Head Shrinkers / Re: fed up with life
« on: September 30, 2014, 05:33:22 pm »
Quote from: equanimity on September 30, 2014, 04:10:23 pm
Teach people about various medications and their risks; don't assume people can't be trusted to make their own informed decisions with the help of licensed professionals.

This is what ruins being an American, at least for me.  I feel almost guilty, because we have all of these amenities, electricity, clean water, ect, stuff that can be taken for granted. I want to be thankful for that, and I am, but at the same time, I'm not. Everyday I pretty much go to bed hoping I don't wake up, and why is that? Because I'm a junkie. I'm not ashamed to say it either, everyone has their own problems. If the way we practiced medicine was slightly different, I wouldn't be a junkie, I'd be an outpatient who works and generally contributes to society.

But because either A; I can't be trusted to make my own medical decisions and must seek approval from a doctor even if all I need or want is a prescription or B; I'm geographically limited in what opiate addiction services I have available. Because unless someone else (who may or may not even be quite as informed in the nuances of certain medications as myself) makes the decision I've already made, I'm just SOL.

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Head Shrinkers / Re: fed up with life
« on: September 30, 2014, 03:06:27 pm »
Quote from: millionsofdeadcats on September 30, 2014, 02:49:59 pm
Quote from: JanitorJesus on September 30, 2014, 02:44:13 pm
I missed an appointment and she charged me $250 for it

Daaaamn!  I used to bitch when the clinic would charge me 12$ when I would miss a day.  (I only ever missed days to stall drug tests heh)

Yeah tell me about it dude. Full price for a missed appointment. I wish so bad we had a Methadone clinic around here.

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Head Shrinkers / Re: fed up with life
« on: September 30, 2014, 02:44:13 pm »
Quote from: millionsofdeadcats on September 30, 2014, 02:37:03 pm

This is what we have to do in this day and age, where doctors are afraid to prescribe because they are pussies.  The doctor I eventually found would straight up tell the dea agents who harassed him 'fuck you guys, my lawyer will ruin your life'.  Another doctor here went to prison for making cash deals with people who failed drug tests and should have had their 'pain contracts' canceled.  The whole thing is a clusterfuck, and is nothing more than another 'game' in life to play.

edit - I forgot to mention that the clinic was a forty minute drive from my house.

I hear that man. I tried convincing my psych to prescribe me Suboxone off-lable for depression (which would have been a legit purpose anyway) and he refused to do so, saying it was illegal and shit (which it's not). I even asked him if he could do some research on it, and he flat-out refused.

I think the only chance of me getting back on Sub or Methadone is either moving (so I can be reasonably close to a methadone clinic, right now I'm at least 2 or 3 hours away from anything) or paying my old Sub doc what I owe her and pray and hope that she actually agrees to see me as a patient again.

BTW, I didn't rip her off or anything, the only reason I owe her money is because I missed an appointment and she charged me $250 for it. If I hadn't missed the appointment I would have been caught up on the bills.

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Head Shrinkers / Re: fed up with life
« on: September 30, 2014, 02:36:30 pm »
Quote from: RisiR on September 30, 2014, 02:28:05 pm
Janitor Jesus, did you try Kratom?

Yeah, and I fuckin loved it. Kratom helped me a lot when my ope sources dried up. In fact, I went from waking up sweating and shivering and feeling like I was going to have a heart attack to waking up feeling normal after a couple weeks of daily Kratom use (the Bali kind).

Unfortunately, I got it locally and the feds have since made it impossible for the place I bought it from to get it anymore.

I had actually planned on using Kratom to totally kick the opiate habit. But I don't even know where to begin looking online for decent Bali Kratom like I got locally from the store who ordered it (some borderline headshop place.)

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Head Shrinkers / Re: fed up with life
« on: September 30, 2014, 02:32:04 pm »
Quote from: millionsofdeadcats on September 30, 2014, 02:26:50 pm
Yes, I am not sure exactly what changed recently, but my doctor mumbled something about 'obamacare' as he reduced my methadone to 8 a day and then switched me to dilaudid on the next visit.  I didn't like dilaudid, it made me turn into a different person, a sort of scary person, so I quit opioids altogether.  I would only go back if I knew I could get methadone again, it is my drug of choice as far as opioids go.

I think I read on a different forum that it's now illegal for doctors to prescribe Methadone for Opiate addiction, it has to be in a Methadone clinic setting. Maybe that along with other restrictions makes it borderline impossible to prescribe Methadone for anything useful. Fuck Obamacare. Shit is stupid.

I was on Diladed for a long time. They aren't that great and the withdrawals are absolute fucking hell.

Personally, all I want is to live out the rest of my life on Suboxone. I've been extremely depressed my entire life and opiates are the only things that have ever helped me feel normal. It's unfortunate but it seems like Medical care (depending on location) is more about personal opinion/biases instead of medical fact and patient centered.

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Head Shrinkers / Re: fed up with life
« on: September 30, 2014, 02:23:18 pm »
Quote from: millionsofdeadcats on September 30, 2014, 02:08:41 pm
I found one doctor, the most recent one I had who was prescribing me 300 methadone 10's a month, then he switched me to 180 dilaudid 4mgs and 180 norco's a day, by asking around at the methadone clinic.  Took a long time to get someone to give up the name, but I finally got it.  Sometimes you just have to find the right doctor.  I do have a fucked up back apparently, but I don't notice it.  When they look at my MRI's they get a look of pity on their face, but my back hardly ever hurts. 

If you have a 'legitimate medical condition' there will be a doctor out there who will treat it, you just have to find the right one.  I had to drive an hour and fifteen minutes away to go to my appointments too.  Anything good in this life requires work, and it sure took a lot of work but it was worth it.

I wish we had a Methadone clinic/doctor or Suboxone Doctor where I live. For about a year I used to take an hour drive to a city over get a script of Subs. It was expensive and a pain in the ass but it was well worth it. However, due to a series of unfortunate events beyond my control I missed an appointment at the last minute (would have been 2 or even 3 hours late, which she would not tolerate.) Because of that, I owe her about $500, not counting another $250 for a new appointment/drug test. At that point I pretty much said fuck it, got an emergency script from the one doctor in town who prescribed methadone at all, and he told me "This is it, you're not getting anymore Methadone here round these parts"
(Literally it sounded like I was momentarily in a fucking old western movie instead of a hospital.) It was also like a baby script of Methadone. 5mg Methadone compared to 16mg Sub basically. It didn't help much, I had to use up the supply way early to get any relief.

As far as paying back the Sub doctor, that's an option but she could easily not prescribe me subs anymore and then what? I'm out like $900 so some rich cunt can have slightly more money added to her overall wealth.

I've just been trying to find a Sub doctor within 2 hours from here (I don't have a reliable car) and I'm having no luck. The docs who still scribe Subs (which was only one) isn't taking new patients and all the other doctors who where listed on the databases inexplicably no longer are in the Suboxone business.

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Head Shrinkers / Re: fed up with life
« on: September 30, 2014, 02:03:11 pm »
Quote from: millionsofdeadcats on September 30, 2014, 01:58:15 pm
Heh I was getting some awesome shit too when I went to the doctors.  I would rather just smoke weed now.  You just don't know how to play 'the doctor game'.

Eh I'm pretty much blacklisted now. Aside from Benzo's and similar drugs I probably couldn't get shit even if I went to the ER screaming with a finger chopped off or some shit. They'd probably just shove a bunch of aspirin in the wound and tell me "Narcotics won't help sorry."

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Head Shrinkers / Re: fed up with life
« on: September 30, 2014, 01:52:34 pm »
Quote from: xbcnfujv on September 19, 2014, 07:11:10 am
you should do what i did.

get yourself legally hooked on amphetamines, benzodiazepines, & muscle relaxants -- simply with the power of lying.

then practice jacking off in public by doing it at night.

...awesome way of escaping reality, man.

It's such bullshit that you can get all those addictive drugs scripted to you and I can't even get the one drug I want. These doctors are less doctors and more 'gatekeepers'.

I'm not talking shit or being an asshole or anything I'm just pointing out a glaring hypocrisy in our society.

I could be wrong, but aren't Benzos actually potentially pretty fucking destructive on the brain? As well as Amps?

11
Conspiracy! / Re: Malaysia airliner missing was created by the Feds
« on: September 30, 2014, 01:04:40 pm »
If all of OP's posts didn't have to do with 'him' and 'his family' some of them would be interesting.

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Better Living Through Chemistry / Re: US marshals seize over 25,000 pounds of kratom!!
« on: September 28, 2014, 06:34:46 pm »
Quote from: millionsofdeadcats on September 28, 2014, 06:16:41 pm
Quote from: JanitorJesus on September 28, 2014, 06:12:03 pm
I think this is a real clear example of how these government agencies have become more or less just arms of powerful corporations.

How come all these marshals aren't being put on the street to stop the spread of the illegal sale of prescription narcotics? Maybe because big pharma gets paid either way no matter who's selling their warez?

Could be wrong, but it seems like big pharmas legit competition (IE not street-dealers of narcotics) are the ones getting the most heat. 25,000 pounds of Kratom? Why not 25,000 street dealers peddling Oxy and Methadone?

I believe that it is less a conspiracy to eliminate competition for pharms, and more of another example of lazy police work.  They tend to go after the low-hanging fruit.  It is much easier to find contraband through customs than it is to gather evidence and round up street dealers.

edit - Plus, one headline with massive amounts of 'harmful new drug fad combined with vague references to rc's' is worth more publicity and back-slapping, than 25,000 individual street-level busts.

This is more realistic and probably rings more true, but at the same time it still fits into what I was implying in a way.

The laws are set up in such a way that it makes more sense to go after something which actually poses more good than harm to the general public and junkies alike, while we've got narcotic abuse running rampant all over the US, and, as far as I can see at least, not much is being done about that except maybe the 'big score' every once in a while, while at the same time Kratom is being relentlessly perused. I can't even find it on the shelves anymore where I used to buy it locally (imported obviously).

Anyway, I barely can keep track of what I'm saying now at this point. Basically, this whole fucking thing is beyond fucked.


Quote
I didn't really get the narcotics dealer thing but I'm talking about doctors prescribing pain killers liike Skittles and doctors hooking peole on Methadone for their whole life. All legit and legal.

This may have been true in the past, but now it's near impossible to get prescribed narcotics in most situations. Depending on where you're located it's also extremely difficult to get Methadone or Suboxone treatment. Some people may see this as good, I personally don't. It should be up to each individual how they want to live their life, and if they want to be a law-abiding consumer who has a job and also happens to be addicted to opiates by choice, who the fuck is anyone to stand in their way? At least in America, where opiates are plentiful and readily available.

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Better Living Through Chemistry / Re: Why Druggies Are Considered Mentally Deficient
« on: September 28, 2014, 06:24:51 pm »
Who gives a shit? We were'nt all meant to be high flying jet-setting executives. If I want to slowly destroy my brain with opiates, as long as I still hold down a job to pay for my lifestyle, who's fucking business is it but mine? We're all going to die anyway, mind your own and I'll mind mine.

Oh, wait, because drugs are illegal and opiate replacement therapy is hard to come by, it becomes society as a whole's problem. You've got junkies scheming for money, unable to hold down jobs, and just generally being pieces of shit. But all this can be alleviated if this whole 'prohibition' and 'abstinence' trash was replaced with something more modern and progressive. Prohibition failed a very very long time ago. Rather it's alcohol or opiates, it really doesn't make much of a difference. As an interesting side note, alcohol prohibition was modeled very similar to opiate prohibition is now, what with doctors being able to prescribe alcohol and such.

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Better Living Through Chemistry / Re: Smoking fentanyl: The most addictive thing ever?
« on: September 28, 2014, 06:17:17 pm »
Never smoked the plastic ones (because it's plastic so fuck that) but smoking the gel kind (do they even exist anymore?) was pretty decent.

I don't remember much euphoria though, and each dose didn't seem to last very long.

For my money, I'd rather just toss the patch on and be good for 3 days.

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Better Living Through Chemistry / Re: US marshals seize over 25,000 pounds of kratom!!
« on: September 28, 2014, 06:12:03 pm »
Quote from: RisiR on September 28, 2014, 05:52:15 pm
Quote from: JanitorJesus on September 28, 2014, 05:18:26 pm
More drugs to be illegally confiscated.

I think the main reason they're doing this is because Kratom can help dope addicts get/stay off the junk.
Bing bing bing! We got a winner. Someone has to do all that Oxy and Methadone, y'know.

I think this is a real clear example of how these government agencies have become more or less just arms of powerful corporations.

How come all these marshals aren't being put on the street to stop the spread of the illegal sale of prescription narcotics? Maybe because big pharma gets paid either way no matter who's selling their warez?

Could be wrong, but it seems like big pharmas legit competition (IE not street-dealers of narcotics) are the ones getting the most heat. 25,000 pounds of Kratom? Why not 25,000 street dealers peddling Oxy and Methadone?

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