The Sanctuary
Carnality => Sex & Affection => Topic started by: jerome on September 02, 2014, 10:49:15 pm
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okay so this one dude sweat so much his bed was always drenched w/in 30 min. i hated when i touched him and he had this crazy intense stare that made him look bonkers. i avoided his eyes completely. he also smelled soooo fukin bad. i think it must have been all the onions he ate and smoking so much pot his body smelled like rotten musk. was also hairy as a buffalo. n' he was way too excited about the sex.
i'll try to think of more later. where's kreepykay?
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okay so this one dude sweat so much his bed was always drenched w/in 30 min. i hated when i touched him and he had this crazy intense stare that made him look bonkers. i avoided his eyes completely. he also smelled soooo fukin bad. i think it must have been all the onions he ate and smoking so much pot his body smelled like rotten musk. was also hairy as a buffalo. n' he was way too excited about the sex.
i'll try to think of more later. where's kreepykay?
I'm glad I'm not the only one who says "bonkers"..
I would say the worst times were when I was with my ex and he was high on heroin and I just laid there as he went HAM and acted like a porn star with down syndrome. He had a demonic look in his eyes and farted quite a few times (during different sessions) and was totally oblivious to it. At least when he was sober he would laugh
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I was once with a girl who would stroke me like she was trying to start a lawn mower. The first time she did it I almost jumped out of the bed. Despite a subtle "ouch!" and far more direct talking-to's in the future, she never fully quite grasped how to handle my junk without making it seem like she was trying to separate it from my body.
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jane, oh man that sounds torturous. good thing it's ended now.
proots, haha that's pretty funny. it makes me wonder how people are so oblivious to some things in bed. like how is it possible they don't realize how bad they're messing up?
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Good topic jerome.
In 2006 I went to a barn party and got white girl drunk on Jager. There was a girl there that I wanted to screw that we'll call Jeanette and she had a friend that we'll call Katie. Well Jeanette looked damn fine back then and Katie was cute in the face but was a bit too fluffy for my tastes. They also got white girl drunk.
I can't even remember how it happened or whose idea it was but by the end of the party the three of us were in the loft of the barn naked together. They both started going down on me, they were decent at it, but lacked synchronization so it was a bit of a let down there.
I started making out with Jeanette and Katie takes the initiative and fluffs down on top of me. I'm struggling to keep erect because I didn't really find her attractive. She reaches over to start fingering Jeanette when all of the sudden Jeanette Jumps up and starts yelling, "I'M NOT GAY! I'M NOT GAY! I'M NOT GAY!" and runs down the stairs of the loft buck naked and out of the barn.
Boner is nearly dead now. I didn't even bother finishing. Just told Katie to get off me and I went home.
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jane, oh man that sounds torturous. good thing it's ended now.
proots, haha that's pretty funny. it makes me wonder how people are so oblivious to some things in bed. like how is it possible they don't realize how bad they're messing up?
I get that some people might erroneously believe that what got one partner off will do just as well for another. I also find it peculiar that the majority of women I've slept with seem really walled up when it comes to discussing how to please one another. I'm sure this is just as common in men, too.
I just don't see what's wrong with showing and/or telling your partner what you like best. After all, I want to know. Sex is all about pleasure. If both of you aren't enjoying yourselves, then something is seriously wrong that needs to be addressed.
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Good topic jerome.
In 2006 I went to a barn party and got white girl drunk on Jager. There was a girl there that I wanted to screw that we'll call Jeanette and she had a friend that we'll call Katie. Well Jeanette looked damn fine back then and Katie was cute in the face but was a bit too fluffy for my tastes. They also got white girl drunk.
I can't even remember how it happened or whose idea it was but by the end of the party the three of us were in the loft of the barn naked together. They both started going down on me, they were decent at it, but lacked synchronization so it was a bit of a let down there.
I started making out with Jeanette and Katie takes the initiative and fluffs down on top of me. I'm struggling to keep erect because I didn't really find her attractive. She reaches over to start fingering Jeanette when all of the sudden Jeanette Jumps up and starts yelling, "I'M NOT GAY! I'M NOT GAY! I'M NOT GAY!" and runs down the stairs of the loft buck naked and out of the barn.
Boner is nearly dead now. I didn't even bother finishing. Just told Katie to get off me and I went home.
You thought you had 2 girls but ended having to go jack off. I would hardly consider that bad sex however hilarious it may be.
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Good topic jerome.
In 2006 I went to a barn party and got white girl drunk on Jager. There was a girl there that I wanted to screw that we'll call Jeanette and she had a friend that we'll call Katie. Well Jeanette looked damn fine back then and Katie was cute in the face but was a bit too fluffy for my tastes. They also got white girl drunk.
I can't even remember how it happened or whose idea it was but by the end of the party the three of us were in the loft of the barn naked together. They both started going down on me, they were decent at it, but lacked synchronization so it was a bit of a let down there.
I started making out with Jeanette and Katie takes the initiative and fluffs down on top of me. I'm struggling to keep erect because I didn't really find her attractive. She reaches over to start fingering Jeanette when all of the sudden Jeanette Jumps up and starts yelling, "I'M NOT GAY! I'M NOT GAY! I'M NOT GAY!" and runs down the stairs of the loft buck naked and out of the barn.
Boner is nearly dead now. I didn't even bother finishing. Just told Katie to get off me and I went home.
Wow how lame hahaha.
Well I've only fucked one girl and most times I was either drunk or had a hard time getting off due to so much dxm. I ended up getting tired of her cause she made me do all the work. I would be the one to move her on top of me and even then she would quickly get lazy and I had to continue. There was a morning that we decided to fuck I do missionary get tired so I get her to ride me and she just decided to lay on top of me with my dick in her, lazy bitch.
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uwyred that is possibly one of the best stories i've heard in a while haha.
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One time I banged an 18yo, it was the worst sex I ever had. She was old, decrepit and fully developed. Ew. Never again will I go that high.
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I dunno, the one that was pretty traumatizing was when my "buddy" called me about this "party" at some girls house way on the other side of the city. The girl used to fuck a guy whose baby mama I fucked and I sold E to her before. Fuck, I was doing a lot of E then, I was high on E when my buddy called me and I was at someones house where nobody else was on E so I drove to the other side of the city because they were all on E and the girl said she'd give me moniez to come. So yeah, there was only like 6-8 people there and it was fuckin weird. This skinny guy with glasses kept creeping me THE FUCK out and some skinny girl too. It was a big house but it was freezing cuz the dumb bitch just moved in and didn't get oil yet. ANYWAYS, I ended up fuckin her and I think she had herpes or something, her pussy was chafed, possibly from ecstasy sex with niggers I dunno, but basically, we fucked, she was gross and kept clinging on me afterwards, I really just wanted to get in her bed because I was cold and on E. But the part that FREAKED me out was we turned on the tv at like 8am and this video was on
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXd6u9o6dYY
watch this video and tell me it wouldn't freak you the fuck out if you just fucked a chunky gross slag on ecstasy. It literally gave me an anxiety attack or something and it was all I could see, it was like the episode of "it's always sunny" when Frank's on acid and climbs in the toilet because he sees artimes's face
(http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120305185915/itsalwayssunny/images/7/7f/LSD-version_of_Artemis.jpg)
I got dressed and dropped the girl off at a store around the corner because I made up some crazy excuse or something. And yeah, my "buddy" got some weird disease from taking too much E where the fluid leaves your back, rickets or something, he went to the hospital later that day and I was still too freaked out to go see him in the hospital for a while.
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that sounds like a terrible moment Unstable, oh gawd. and rickets sucks dude, i think my uncle had/has it.
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that sounds like a terrible moment Unstable, oh gawd. and rickets sucks dude, i think my uncle had/has it.
ya it wasn't rickets but it was a 1 word thing that rarely happens to people in north america anymore
I forgot to mention the girl was literally a 911 operator for the local police department as well
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickets
OT:
Never really had bad sex. Once a girl was gonna suck my dick and changed her mind half way through, but we ended up fucking so alls well that ends well.
I think it's because I used to jack off with body wash and it tasted like soap.
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not being able to bust while on opiates sux as well but le girl loves it because you keep getting more and more frustrated until you run out of breath and have to stop so she rides you for a bit then you catch your breath, go back at it and make her bust again and you're trying to use her busting in your head to make you come quicker but your senses/penis are dulled from the opiates so it goes nowhere.
any sex with a condom is the worst sex ever too
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Ramfuk
The worst sex is the sex you don't have
Or so I thought until I fucked a girl who had a cliff for a pelvis and a gigantic vagina that seemingly had no structure
It was like a wet bag that would stretch in any direction that I pointed my dick
This caused me to become flaccid as I became frustrated, which caused the condom to slip off, which I didn't realize because of her miraculously baglike vagina
I finally Ramfukked her as hard as I could while she moaned, 'Unnugnuughnugh don'ttttt stopppppp unghugnh,' which turned me off further, but I managed to ejaculate powerfully as it had taken so much time to achieve orgasm
Then I discovered that she got a big cumblast but she was alright about it and took the pill
Ramfuk
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Forgot to mention the time I fucked a girl whose pussy had no structural integrity in a traphouse that smelled like cat piss. She didnt look bad but ahe didnt really take xare of herself and was wearing wool fucking sox ( it was winter tho) and goddamn was her pussy ever loose
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The worst sex was with this half black girl while I was really drunk one evening. It wasn't her fault, I was so hammered I could've been stabbed and probably not have felt it. It really sucked mentally too because I really liked this girl, 9/10 all around and just couldn't feel anything for shit.
We started off doggy before I quickly tired out, she then rode me for what seemed like only 30 seconds, got her orgasm, then I bent her over again before saying fuck it and gave up. I saw her a few times after that, but never in the setting to have sex again.
I guess what got me really down and out about it is the fact that she was the only girl I never busted a nut with. :'(
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickets
OT:
Never really had bad sex. Once a girl was gonna suck my dick and changed her mind half way through, but we ended up fucking so alls well that ends well.
I think it's because I used to jack off with body wash and it tasted like soap.
Didn't that shit burn your dick?
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I was once with a girl who would stroke me like she was trying to start a lawn mower. The first time she did it I almost jumped out of the bed. Despite a subtle "ouch!" and far more direct talking-to's in the future, she never fully quite grasped how to handle my junk without making it seem like she was trying to separate it from my body.
Oh man my ex was like that... so when she'd go to sleep I'd "accidentally" kick her out of the bed like I was starting my motorcycle. And during sexuals she was like dead fish. But it was freshman year in college and I had a hard enough time telling her to invest in a decent razor. Wont go Rushin for Russian again.
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Good topic jerome.
In 2006 I went to a barn party and got white girl drunk on Jager. There was a girl there that I wanted to screw that we'll call Jeanette and she had a friend that we'll call Katie. Well Jeanette looked damn fine back then and Katie was cute in the face but was a bit too fluffy for my tastes. They also got white girl drunk.
I can't even remember how it happened or whose idea it was but by the end of the party the three of us were in the loft of the barn naked together. They both started going down on me, they were decent at it, but lacked synchronization so it was a bit of a let down there.
I started making out with Jeanette and Katie takes the initiative and fluffs down on top of me. I'm struggling to keep erect because I didn't really find her attractive. She reaches over to start fingering Jeanette when all of the sudden Jeanette Jumps up and starts yelling, "I'M NOT GAY! I'M NOT GAY! I'M NOT GAY!" and runs down the stairs of the loft buck naked and out of the barn.
Boner is nearly dead now. I didn't even bother finishing. Just told Katie to get off me and I went home.
Wrong forum. This should be in the fictional story section
Dumb darkie
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I didn't think it was possible for sex to be bad. Im more inclined to believe its operator error than anything else
Sex is like pizza. Even when it isnt good its good
As far as vaginas that are overly expansive, its more likely the pitcher is using an undersized bat. In such a case the back door would be a better option. Guys should keep in mind that when theyre claiming the receiving orifice of their fuck buddy isnt acceptably receptive theyre saying their appendage isnt up to the task of filling it.
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Sex is like pizza. Even when it isnt good its good
What a load of horse shit. Eat a pizza I've shat on.
As far as vaginas that are overly expansive, its more likely the pitcher is using an undersized bat. In such a case the back door would be a better option. Guys should keep in mind that when theyre claiming the receiving orifice of their fuck buddy isnt acceptably receptive theyre saying their appendage isnt up to the task of filling it.
Yeah, so what? My normal homo sapien penis cannot fill a horse vagina. Should I feel bad about it?
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My worst sex actually wasn't even sex... I planned out a big night with the guy I was dating. WE made out a lil and I got him in the room, both naked and me on top grinding against it but he never even got hard... lol I should have figured though because he did end up telling me he was gay a year later- which was something I had already figured out- we try to still keep in contact and last I heard he had a guy and they was happy ....pretty cool
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My worst sex experience is when I picked up a sexy chick at a party. We went to a motel which I paid for. 15 minutes into sex I already busted a nut. Busted too fast. Talk about embarrassment because I kept telling her prior to sex that I was gonna fuck her good lol it was awkward looking in her eyes because I can see she wanted more but shit what can you do im finished. At least she got a free place to spend the night. I left the motel quickly after. Its a good thing we don't know each other. I seen my friends and told them that I had the best sex ever. I lied I fucked her for 2 hours but only if they knew the true story lol
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Sex is like pizza. Even when it isnt good its good
What a load of horse shit. Eat a pizza I've shat on.
As far as vaginas that are overly expansive, its more likely the pitcher is using an undersized bat. In such a case the back door would be a better option. Guys should keep in mind that when theyre claiming the receiving orifice of their fuck buddy isnt acceptably receptive theyre saying their appendage isnt up to the task of filling it.
Yeah, so what? My normal homo sapien penis cannot fill a horse vagina. Should I feel bad about it?
stuff it up your asshole. same effect
what youre saying is you have a small dick. gotcha
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Ever had a girl trying to jack you off with dry hands by yanking your bare, uncircumcised tip? Shit sucks, yo. Badly.
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Sex is like pizza. Even when it isnt good its good
When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's cold, stale, and the crust is too thick.
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I threw up between a guy's feet once. He was sitting on a couch and I was in front of it on my knees. He came without warning and it hit the back of my throat in the worst possible spot. Coughed, gagged, and vomited.
That was maybe my most embarrassing sex act. They never warn you about these things in sex ed.
Hmm another time I was pretty well drunk on whiskey and decided to give some guy a blowjob. He smelled like sweat and way too much cologne. Pants came down to reveal the smallest dick I've ever seen, and he had a "prince albert" or whatever piercing. First and last time I've seen male genital piercing. It wouldn't have been bad, but there was some gross crusty stuff around the piercing I had to wipe off first. Drunk me didn't care much at the time, but thinking back that was pretty bad. Sex can be so awkward.
Have been peed on. It's warm and alright at first but gets cold and sticky quickly. Lots of other horrible, deviant things.
Far too many guys cum like 30 seconds after starting. Why is this a thing? And the guys that want to like take a nap while you're on top doing all the work. Gets really tiring, and it's not sexy watching you lie there passively.
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I'm starting to feel bad, because a lot of the mundane-bad is about equal to my typical experience. Which goes a long way towards explaining a few things...
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I'm starting to feel bad, because a lot of the mundane-bad is about equal to my typical experience. Which goes a long way towards explaining a few things...
Feeling bad won't help anything! And whatever problems you have, they can be mostly overcome with sincere effort. Sex in general is a lot more awkward and embarrassing than most people want to admit, imo...
Wanna talk about it?
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Oh no, I'm not the problem. Well, aside from the terminal shyness and awkwardness that has left me with a small reference pool.
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ohh lol. my bad.
But yeah. Sex is clumsy work!
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Like someone else said, never had "bad" sex...but I do remember one girl in particular that was extremely disappointing. Back in my teen years there was this girl I fucked a bunch of times, with the hopes over time she would get over her inhibitions. She was a lot of fun in every other aspect, partied her ass off and was amazing eye candy under my arm.
But SO fuckin timid in bed. Would only do it missionary, because she said any other position would "make her feel like a slut". If she'd suck me she'd constantly remind me..."you better not cum". When I went down on her, she wouldn't let me kiss her hours after even when I showered and brushed my teeth because.."you've been down there and that is gross". Best sex we ever had together was while tripping on acid, but that isn't much of a commentary.
What a fuckin waste for such an amazing bod, and drop dead gorgeous looks.
I ended up fucking her little sister twice, and while she was no porno star....she ended up being a bit naughtier and better. :D
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ohh lol. my bad.
But yeah. Sex is clumsy work!
I agree sex can be very clumsy work.. lol it prob don't help that I have a lot of OCD when it comes to sex.. lucky for me my fiance helps with all my funny quirks that I have to have to make it work.
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I have a lot of OCD when it comes to sex.. lucky for me my fiance helps with all my funny quirks that I have to have to make it work.
Please elaborate.....
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Like someone else said, never had "bad" sex...but I do remember one girl in particular that was extremely disappointing. Back in my teen years there was this girl I fucked a bunch of times, with the hopes over time she would get over her inhibitions. She was a lot of fun in every other aspect, partied her ass off and was amazing eye candy under my arm.
But SO fuckin timid in bed. Would only do it missionary, because she said any other position would "make her feel like a slut". If she'd suck me she'd constantly remind me..."you better not cum". When I went down on her, she wouldn't let me kiss her hours after even when I showered and brushed my teeth because.."you've been down there and that is gross". Best sex we ever had together was while tripping on acid, but that isn't much of a commentary.
What a fuckin waste for such an amazing bod, and drop dead gorgeous looks.
I ended up fucking her little sister twice, and while she was no porno star....she ended up being a bit naughtier and better. :D
You didn't train her well enough. You let her train you
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I have a lot of OCD when it comes to sex.. lucky for me my fiance helps with all my funny quirks that I have to have to make it work.
Please elaborate.....
Well I'm not huge on bodily fluids touching me...not to say I don't mind to swallow or anything just simple things like if he's been down below I can't stand for he to kiss me after.. and I prefer to have him dry off his mouth and hands before he touches me... Also not a big fan of A2M or P2M so unless I'm super drunk I don't allow that.. Another lil thing is that I prefer to have a shower before hand so that I can be presented in the best fashion. So I guess its not really a lot of OCD but it does sometimes make the process a lil difficult.. On the plus side I always enjoy some slight choking, and DP and we usually have sex if not everyday every other day... oh and I love to be on top...
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You NEVER go ass to mouth!
-Dante
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You NEVER go ass to mouth!
-Dante
I do it all the time. I also dont offer the option
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You NEVER go ass to mouth!
-Dante
There are some health concerns, but you know...
never say never :O
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You didn't train her well enough. You let her train you
Not really...she wasn't a steady girlfriend or anything....more like a party buddy/booty call. Kinda like a "boredom fuck" actually. Several nights I wouldn't even call her until she was like 4th or 5th on my list...when all the other girls whose pants I was trying to get down were either already busy or unavailable that night. Many weekends I'd be driving around later at night thinking "should I just go home or see what she was doing" after my hopes were squashed by other bitches....and usually my dick led me to her doorstep.
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Well I'm not huge on bodily fluids touching me...not to say I don't mind to swallow or anything just simple things like if he's been down below I can't stand for he to kiss me after.. and I prefer to have him dry off his mouth and hands before he touches me... Also not a big fan of A2M or P2M so unless I'm super drunk I don't allow that.. Another lil thing is that I prefer to have a shower before hand so that I can be presented in the best fashion. So I guess its not really a lot of OCD but it does sometimes make the process a lil difficult.. On the plus side I always enjoy some slight choking, and DP and we usually have sex if not everyday every other day... oh and I love to be on top...
You actually don't sound that weird to be honest, and possibly even a bit more adventurous than the average chick. I'll still never understand the whole inhibition about kissing a guy after he gave you oral, but have run into that plenty of times too...the worst case being what I described earlier. Like c'mon...5 fuckin hours later and you still won't?
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hmmmm worst would be woman so pissed off that she stormed out and that relationship ended after 3 hours of sex and she couldn't get me off and took offense in a major way.
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What a bitch, you can't help it that your gay
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You NEVER go ass to mouth!
-Dante
There are some health concerns, but you know...
never say never :O
No, I'm pretty comfortable in saying that this is not a situation I will ever encounter.
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worst sex ever? Hmmm.. It'd be really hard for me to classify any sex that I've had as.. terrible, per say. I've had sex with someone whom I have no problems saying that I regret, simply because I regret pleasuring such a terrible terrible person.. I think back and wonder what the hell I was thinking, only to remember I had just had a break u, was on the rebound.. and managed to somehow downgrade in the most severe way possible.. not an ugly gal either, so I'll let you assume just how bad her personality and quirks were.
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She was gorgeous. She took pride in how many guys she slept with. Laid there like a dead fucking fish. Problem was, I didn't know this until much later on. IMO, the better looking they are, the more awful the lay. I'm proud of my size yet it was like throwing a hotdog down a hallway. If she gets around, her shit is looooooooooose.
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I dunno, the one that was pretty traumatizing was when my "buddy" called me about this "party" at some girls house way on the other side of the city. The girl used to fuck a guy whose baby mama I fucked and I sold E to her before. Fuck, I was doing a lot of E then, I was high on E when my buddy called me and I was at someones house where nobody else was on E so I drove to the other side of the city because they were all on E and the girl said she'd give me moniez to come. So yeah, there was only like 6-8 people there and it was fuckin weird. This skinny guy with glasses kept creeping me THE FUCK out and some skinny girl too. It was a big house but it was freezing cuz the dumb bitch just moved in and didn't get oil yet. ANYWAYS, I ended up fuckin her and I think she had herpes or something, her pussy was chafed, possibly from ecstasy sex with niggers I dunno, but basically, we fucked, she was gross and kept clinging on me afterwards, I really just wanted to get in her bed because I was cold and on E. But the part that FREAKED me out was we turned on the tv at like 8am and this video was on
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXd6u9o6dYY
watch this video and tell me it wouldn't freak you the fuck out if you just fucked a chunky gross slag on ecstasy. It literally gave me an anxiety attack or something and it was all I could see, it was like the episode of "it's always sunny" when Frank's on acid and climbs in the toilet because he sees artimes's face
(http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120305185915/itsalwayssunny/images/7/7f/LSD-version_of_Artemis.jpg)
I got dressed and dropped the girl off at a store around the corner because I made up some crazy excuse or something. And yeah, my "buddy" got some weird disease from taking too much E where the fluid leaves your back, rickets or something, he went to the hospital later that day and I was still too freaked out to go see him in the hospital for a while.
HAHAHAHA LMFAO
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Well I'm not huge on bodily fluids touching me...not to say I don't mind to swallow or anything just simple things like if he's been down below I can't stand for he to kiss me after.. and I prefer to have him dry off his mouth and hands before he touches me... Also not a big fan of A2M or P2M so unless I'm super drunk I don't allow that.. Another lil thing is that I prefer to have a shower before hand so that I can be presented in the best fashion. So I guess its not really a lot of OCD but it does sometimes make the process a lil difficult.. On the plus side I always enjoy some slight choking, and DP and we usually have sex if not everyday every other day... oh and I love to be on top...
You actually don't sound that weird to be honest, and possibly even a bit more adventurous than the average chick. I'll still never understand the whole inhibition about kissing a guy after he gave you oral, but have run into that plenty of times too...the worst case being what I described earlier. Like c'mon...5 fuckin hours later and you still won't?
Yea I guess it could be worse... lol you got me there...
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I wish my dates would shower beforehand... I always do.