The Sanctuary
Ego => Spurious Generalities => Topic started by: BallsDeep69 on November 10, 2014, 02:31:47 pm
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I'll start off.
*police officer pulls my car over*
Police Officer: Hey son, would you care to step outside?
I was driving home from a party and was a little bit tipsy.
Me: Uh, sure.
PO: You been drinking?
Me: Uh, I've got a body in the trunk.
PO: What's that? You've got a body in the trunk?
Me: Err, I said I'm a bit drunk!
PO: Is it OK if you drive on down to the station with me? I'd like to ask you some questions.
When we got to the station, I said I needed to take a piss, had a couple of breath mints and washed my mouth out with a little mouthwash bottle I must've slipped in my pocket at the party. The alchahol test only picked up small traces so I was allowed to go back home.
The End
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Nothing cus I dont get caught
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Real conversation a friend had with a cop last week. I just remembered.
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Friend: Was it because I was speeding?
Cop: No.... [writes on notepad]....
Friend: Because I didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign back there?
Cop: No.... [writes some more]....
Friend: Because my registration is expired?
Cop: Ok, just stop talking. You made a left turn on a no left turn.
Cop actually let him off with 4 official warnings for the traffic violations and 1 unofficial warning not to be a fucking idiot.
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used my boobs to get out of a speeding ticket :-*
i was doing 70 on a homemade motor bike
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Cop: Have you had anything to drink tonight?
Me: Yes, a Frappuccino.
Cop: When I pulled up, you car was moving while you were next to it. What were you doing?
Me: I was playing a game where I put my car in gear, get out and run around it while it's doing idle-speed, and then jump back in.
Cop: ... (proceeds to give me a field sobriety test)
I dunno, I've probably said worse things. I've had 11 traffic violations last time I counted but none of them went on my record. I guess I'm lucky?
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ur a fucking biitch im gonna kill u piggy piggy piggy
lol faget cops FDP
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"You're just gonna smoke it anyways."
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"yes, officer, i consent to a search"
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'boo!'
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I told an officer that I was going to give his wife a folded flag. Thats how you get manhandled.
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I'll start off.
*police officer pulls my car over*
Police Officer: Hey son, would you care to step outside?
I was driving home from a party and was a little bit tipsy.
Me: Uh, sure.
PO: You been drinking?
Me: Uh, I've got a body in the trunk.
PO: What's that? You've got a body in the trunk?
Me: Err, I said I'm a bit drunk!
PO: Is it OK if you drive on down to the station with me? I'd like to ask you some questions.
When we got to the station, I said I needed to take a piss, had a couple of breath mints and washed my mouth out with a little mouthwash bottle I must've slipped in my pocket at the party. The alchahol test only picked up small traces so I was allowed to go back home.
The End
Did not happen.
How pathetic is your life that you are motivated to post lame fabricated stories on a forum with 5 active users and a mormon dragonfag virgin for an admin.
As for me, I don't talk to cops. Fuck the police.
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Several years ago I was headed over to a friend's house at around midnight. It was only 2 miles, so I decided to run. Cop stops me and and asks where I'm headed in such a hurry. I don't recall exactly what I said, but it was something about how I was responding to an emergency call from his wife, who needed a real man, right now. Next thing I know, I'm on the ground, my ribs are killing me, and he's gone.
Fucking cops.
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2 of my favorites....
When a rogue cop came to my door to threaten/harass my family one morning.....I told him to put the badge and gun on the ground and try knocking on my windows and door again like a REAL MAN. Once he realized his scare tactics weren't going to work on me and all he did was instigate a conflict he would never win, he turned his tail and headed back to the cruiser. With me yelling at him again and again..."You cowardly little bitch, put that badge on the ground and come back here. You cowardly little bitch!". Helluva image to instill in Lil Guru's mind, seeing his daddy chase "the law" off their property. 8)
When I was 17 I was picked up by the police, and it took 4 officers to wrestle me to the ground to get the handcuffs on me. One of the 4 was particularly arrogant and talking all kinds of shit....and they ended up taking me to the hospital to be evaluated to eventually be committed in the psych ward. When hospital security finally came into the room, 2 of the 4 cops were on their way out the door....when this exchange happened....
"Hey officer can't-remember-his-name....nice fight!"....with a smug grin on my face.
Other cop sitting next to me..."you weren't in any fight".
"No, but HE was!" ;)
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"yes, officer, i consent to a search"
Haha, nice one. :tup:
That's literally the worst thing to say to a cop.
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FOLDED FLAG thats fighting words for cops trust me. Iv was taught by some of the finest the prison system has to offer.
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"yes, officer, i consent to a search"
Haha, nice one. :tup:
That's literally the worst thing to say to a cop.
That's the first thing that popped into my head when I read the thread title. I've never been stopped or searched, but I spent a little time watching some hilarious videos on youtube about not consenting to searches. Hilarious.
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Suck my dick to a random passing cop car on Xanax who heard me, 1/1,000,000 chance. Caught me with some.
and called a black cop a nigger while resisting arrest then he told me he'd break my arm.
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Suck my dick to a random passing cop car on Xanax who heard me, 1/1,000,000 chance. Caught me with some.
and called a black cop a nigger while resisting arrest then he told me he'd break my arm.
lol you're stupid.
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Cop pulls me over for throwing a cigarette butt out of my car window...
Asks for all the usual shit
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Cop: just doing my job sir.
Hades: I understand you're just doing your job. In fact, so were the gestapo. But I'm not the one who applied for it.
Got fined for littering, waved the settlement fine and asked for a trial. Never heard anything further of it.