The Sanctuary

Ego => Spurious Generalities => Topic started by: speeddeeps on November 10, 2014, 03:32:46 am

Title: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: speeddeeps on November 10, 2014, 03:32:46 am
probably a few times a week, i pour ranch in a bowl or glass and drink it. it taste dope as fuck

today my mom told me i'm not ALLOWED doing this

wtf
Title: Re: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: Daran on November 10, 2014, 03:37:10 am
You're a six sigma order of magnitude faggot.
Title: Re: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: constantinople on November 10, 2014, 03:44:27 am
If you make your own, you can add a little bit more buttermilk for a less viscous ranch experience.
Title: Re: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: speeddeeps on November 10, 2014, 03:53:23 am
If you make your own, you can add a little bit more buttermilk for a less viscous ranch experience.

are you fucked
Title: Re: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: Prometheus on November 10, 2014, 04:15:44 am
Buy your own. Hide it. Basically, take lessons from the alcoholics around here.
Title: Re: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: equanimity on November 10, 2014, 04:22:19 am
When I used to work with disabled people I had an incident with a client involving ranch dressing.  This person was very difficult to work with, and had once attacked me with a baseball bat.  They all had meal plans we helped them stick to, that they helped make up and cook and stuff.  Healthy stuff, and most of them had diet restrictions we had to work with.

So I'm like, "Hey, it's about lunchtime.  Should we make some lunch?"

And they said: "No, I'll just make something quick."

At which point they pulled out a bowl, and got ranch dressing and cheese cubes out of their fridge.  Tried to talk them out of it but they started to get very very agitated and I knew to back off because of the flight risk and so many other things.  So yeah.  Ranch dressing and cheese cubes in a bowl, with a spoon, like milk and cereal.  Not a small bowl, like a full bowl of ranch dressing and cheese.  I filled out some paperwork concerning the incident and was thoroughly grossed out but thought that was the end of it.  Wrong.

A couple hours later there was visible fecal matter all over the walls, in their bed and everywhere in the bathroom you can imagine.  We were supposed to go to the park and run some errands that day, but instead I spent it cleaning, disinfecting, and bleaching things that probably should not have been bleached.  All the while the client was angry and screaming at me, probably embarrassed about what happened and yeah wanting to go out and do things.  Getting them clean was the hardest part; had to chase them around and they locked themselves in the bathroom and bedroom before getting completely clean.  Which was why the mess had made it everywhere.

OP, your mom has good reason for not allowing you to drink ranch dressing.  It's disgusting on so many levels, and it's bad for you.  Plus she probably has some nice furniture she doesn't want to bleach.
Title: Re: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: Prometheus on November 10, 2014, 05:51:52 am
I'm pretty sure most people stop doing things that make them shit all over the place.

I almost said normal people, but I don't think there's a single one of those here.
Title: Re: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: baby raper on November 10, 2014, 06:19:24 am
If you make your own, you can add a little bit more buttermilk for a less viscous ranch experience.

are you fucked
ya dude fucked for sure....what kind of sick fuck.....
Title: Re: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: speeddeeps on November 10, 2014, 07:26:55 am
If you make your own, you can add a little bit more buttermilk for a less viscous ranch experience.

are you fucked
ya dude fucked for sure....what kind of sick fuck.....

You're a six sigma order of magnitude faggot.

im a girl yo
Title: Re: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: bling bling on November 10, 2014, 10:14:05 am
why do faker attention whores always use some weird pixilated face lmao
Title: Re: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: delerium on November 10, 2014, 10:45:19 am

im a girl yo

I don't believe you. Tits or GTFO.

With all the ranch you're drinking I'm sure your tits are massive.
Title: Re: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: Enter on November 10, 2014, 11:15:10 am
delerium posts on wizard chan but only pretends to be a virgin so he can fit in

tfw you're stuck between two worlds
Title: Re: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: Enter on November 10, 2014, 11:15:36 am
tfw you've only had sex with prostitutes but even that's too good for wizards
Title: Re: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: BallsDeep69 on November 10, 2014, 11:21:28 am
I'm pretty sure most people stop doing things that make them shit all over the place.

I almost said normal people, but I don't think there's a single one of those here.
No there are not.
Title: Re: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: Saint Hubertus on November 10, 2014, 11:58:17 am
I am going to need a video about this for extracurricular school activities, please provide the aforementioned material as soon as possible.
Title: Re: what the fuck do you mean i can't drink ranch dressing
Post by: constantinople on November 10, 2014, 09:04:09 pm
If you make your own, you can add a little bit more buttermilk for a less viscous ranch experience.

are you fucked

Nah dawg ranch is comprised of buttermilk, mayo, and "ranch" seasoning.