The Sanctuary

Ego => Half Baked => Topic started by: MoaningLisa on October 23, 2014, 02:24:47 pm

Title: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: MoaningLisa on October 23, 2014, 02:24:47 pm: I was going up the stairs in one of the academic buildings on campus (older building, pre WWI) when the bacon, sausages, eggs, french toast, pancake and hot sauce combined with last nights knock-off enchilada...it wasn't pretty.

I was going up the steps (fairly steep) and things started moving...so I stopped halfway up the steps, and the kid behind me got like 8 inches from my ass when it all came loose.

it was a huge fart and a fairly small amount of shit, but it was enough to classify it as a bonafide shart.

poor fool behind me fell down half a flight of stairs. he cried.

I made it up to the next floor, underwear were a total loss but my pants were okay.

about 30 minutes later on my way back down, the stairwell still smelled like burnt ass.

discuss.
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: RisiR on October 23, 2014, 02:28:59 pm: Now this is what I call model posting. Nice one. :tup:

Did he really cry?
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: zok jr. on October 23, 2014, 02:29:33 pm: Gross
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: Michael Myers on October 23, 2014, 02:42:29 pm: Ew. (provide pics please)
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: kroz on October 23, 2014, 03:19:50 pm: that's pretty funny, my friend and I had been smoking meth and drinking heavily for 2 days and he eventually fell asleep, when he did I took off my pants because I was going to fart in his face, positioned my booty over his face and let one rip, I actually sharted and it speckled his nose like brown freckles. He woke up yelling at me and chased me out of his house lol

another time when I was about eight years old, my brother was six , and he came up to my ass when I was watching cartoons and bit my ass! I farted and the fart propelled carpet lint that was stuff to my shorts into his mouth! he started coughing and ran and threw up in the bathroom! that's what you get for being a faggot fuck

another time when I was on probation taking a piss test the goon stood there watching me take a piss and I was be shy so I was really trying hard to force it out. I farted and filled up the little room, the previous night I had been drinking 211 and craft beer . so it wasn't pretty, needless to say I failed my piss test anyways lol

by the way meth farts are rancid as hell. what did kid look like that you sharted on?
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: 1983 on October 23, 2014, 04:12:54 pm: You know some people have to put paint on canvas to create art... But not you OP, Bravo.

Al
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: mashleshmash on October 23, 2014, 06:28:02 pm: Nice thread OP

also nice post Al

I never sharted in anyone's face but once me and my friend were going up the stairs and he was looking down at the steps. I pulled my pants and boxers down and he looks up, planting his nose in my asshole.
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: platinumstorm1 on October 23, 2014, 07:25:16 pm: I used to work for an electronics shop, and it was Black Friday, so as expected, we were packed. Not just a little packed, but "sardines have more room in a can" packed. I had to go to the backroom because I had a sausage egg and cheese mcmuffin from mcdonald, plus i needed a product to sell.
I get gassy with eggs. This is fact.
As i was passing through the crowd, someone bumped my stomach just right, and I let a silent airbomb escape. Once i dropped that hell missile, I got to the back room as quickly as I could. As I'm back there, regaining myself, and getting the product, I hear, "What in the actual fuck!? Who blew their ass out!?"
I died, right there, laughing my face off. I laughed for at least a few minutes before remembering I needed to be out there helping.
I walked out, started to walk through the crowd and I. COULD.STILL. SMELL IT!!!! It seriously smelled like someone lit a baby on fire and threw cabbage on it and crapped on it for good measure. Yes, it was offensive in every aspect.
So, I get back behind the counter and went, "Ok, who destroyed their pants and do you need us to hold your place in line while you investigate what's left of your underpants?"

It was a good day.
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: MoaningLisa on October 23, 2014, 07:40:33 pm: I typed a reply to this but for some reason it didn't post. oh well.

if he didn't cry, it sure sounded like it...it may have been more of a yelp. to bee fair, an unexpected shart to the face is pretty traumatic at any age.

pics of what? underwear got thrown away and my ass has been wiped.

I didn't get a good look at him...shorter white kid, glasses...probably someone I would have picked on in high school...looked like he was here for an IT or engineering major.

I used to work at a pizza restaurant, the servers would "crop dust" tables where people were being assholes. service industry has plenty of opportunities for shenanigans like this.

more info on the shart, it was a short violent pocket of gas, a small lump of shit, a more drawn out pocket of gas with a nice wet tail on it. it was a solid 10/10 fart except I shit myself.
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: kroz on October 23, 2014, 08:33:22 pm: TOTAL DESTRUCTION!
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: Michael Myers on October 23, 2014, 11:52:06 pm: Quote from: MoaningLisa on October 23, 2014, 07:40:33 pm
I typed a reply to this but for some reason it didn't post. oh well.

if he didn't cry, it sure sounded like it...it may have been more of a yelp. to bee fair, an unexpected shart to the face is pretty traumatic at any age.

pics of what? underwear got thrown away and my ass has been wiped.

I didn't get a good look at him...shorter white kid, glasses...probably someone I would have picked on in high school...looked like he was here for an IT or engineering major.

I used to work at a pizza restaurant, the servers would "crop dust" tables where people were being assholes. service industry has plenty of opportunities for shenanigans like this.

more info on the shart, it was a short violent pocket of gas, a small lump of shit, a more drawn out pocket of gas with a nice wet tail on it. it was a solid 10/10 fart except I shit myself.

We just need a picture of your ass to confirm this is true. But first, you are in your 20s right, and no older?
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: Umbrella Corp on October 23, 2014, 11:59:32 pm: Back in my day shitting your pants was embarassing for yourself. smh

anyway that is fuckin' awesome OP :D
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: MoaningLisa on October 24, 2014, 12:02:08 am: Quote from: Michael Myers on October 23, 2014, 11:52:06 pm

We just need a picture of your ass to confirm this is true. But first, you are in your 20s right, and no older?

you do realize I'm a male, right?
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: Umbrella Corp on October 24, 2014, 12:07:16 am: Quote from: MoaningLisa on October 24, 2014, 12:02:08 am
Quote from: Michael Myers on October 23, 2014, 11:52:06 pm

We just need a picture of your ass to confirm this is true. But first, you are in your 20s right, and no older?

you do realize I'm a male, right?
ofc MM is the resident cock sucker.
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: kroz on October 24, 2014, 01:08:11 am: I shit my boxers the other day while eating raising cluck cluck caines chicken infront of my cranberries, I didn't care though she is super gross
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: kroz on October 24, 2014, 01:08:42 am: Quote from: Umbrella Corp on October 24, 2014, 12:07:16 am
Quote from: MoaningLisa on October 24, 2014, 12:02:08 am
Quote from: Michael Myers on October 23, 2014, 11:52:06 pm

We just need a picture of your ass to confirm this is true. But first, you are in your 20s right, and no older?

lol
you do realize I'm a male, right?
ofc MM is the resident cock sucker.
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: 1983 on October 24, 2014, 01:09:55 am: Quote from: kroz on October 23, 2014, 08:33:22 pm
TOTAL DESTRUCTION!

(http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/325/9/3/meowth_headshot_meme_2_by_42dannybob-d6v2xik.jpg)

Al
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: kroz on October 24, 2014, 02:04:14 am: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gaal6CBE6Yo
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: Soso0 on October 26, 2014, 05:03:38 pm: Good work haha, you should of left left you underwear with shit hanging in the staircase
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: Michael Myers on October 26, 2014, 05:11:24 pm: Quote from: MoaningLisa on October 24, 2014, 12:02:08 am
Quote from: Michael Myers on October 23, 2014, 11:52:06 pm

We just need a picture of your ass to confirm this is true. But first, you are in your 20s right, and no older?

you do realize I'm a male, right?

I thought you were a girl. But, whatever, I'm not a sexist so we need some pictures ITT.

Quote from: Umbrella Corp on October 24, 2014, 12:07:16 am
Quote from: MoaningLisa on October 24, 2014, 12:02:08 am
Quote from: Michael Myers on October 23, 2014, 11:52:06 pm

We just need a picture of your ass to confirm this is true. But first, you are in your 20s right, and no older?

you do realize I'm a male, right?
ofc MM is the resident cock sucker.

When did I ravage your ass?
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: MoaningLisa on October 31, 2014, 02:30:46 am: Quote from: Michael Myers on October 26, 2014, 05:11:24 pm

I thought you were a girl. But, whatever, I'm not a sexist so we need some pictures ITT.

Spoiler
I tried to write it so it would show up right in the mirror, but then I wound up not using the mirror for the pic. (http://i.imgur.com/XDdFVwD.jpg)

here is the staircase.

(http://i.imgur.com/DMQFNfH.jpg)
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: BallsDeep69 on October 31, 2014, 08:18:34 am: Once, my little sis bit my ass and her tooth came out. Needless to say, when Mum got it, it looked like it was caked in mud. (Ass mud)
-Balls
Title: Re: I just sharted in some kids face
Post by: BallsDeep69 on October 31, 2014, 08:19:29 am: Quote from: MoaningLisa on October 31, 2014, 02:30:46 am
Quote from: Michael Myers on October 26, 2014, 05:11:24 pm

I thought you were a girl. But, whatever, I'm not a sexist so we need some pictures ITT.

Spoiler
I tried to write it so it would show up right in the mirror, but then I wound up not using the mirror for the pic. (http://i.imgur.com/XDdFVwD.jpg)

here is the staircase.

(http://i.imgur.com/DMQFNfH.jpg)
Errr. Pimple Ass?