The Sanctuary
Carnality => Better Living Through Chemistry => Topic started by: equanimity on October 15, 2014, 01:58:20 am
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My depression is getting worse of late. Very hard to focus and motivate myself to do productive things. So I'm thinking that it might be time to consider the medication route again. Have been on a few different meds but none of them really seemed to work, especially in the motivational department. If anything they made me more complacent in my laziness.
What have your experiences been like? What medications did you take, and for what reasons? Do you feel you were better off having taken them? etc.
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oh my fucking god hahahaha
fucken kill urself. get it the fuck over with you know u want to
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I've been on lots of meds. I started throwing up my pills about a year ago and had to go off of my meds (um, lithium is the only one I can think of by name at the moment). I've been thinking about going back on my meds too, I've been getting pretty antsy. I do better off mine that most people I know, they are fucking disasters.
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lol this is the exact same thread like mq
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meth would solve all your problems!
and likely give you a thousand new ones. most psychiatric drugs only work for some people or under specific circumstances, and have long, long lists of potential side-effects. the most likely thing you'd be prescribed first is one of the SSRIs, but nobody I know ever had much success with them. antipsychotics like seroquel might help but could cause more problems than they're worth... the whole SSRI thing is why I never bothered to go to a psychologist about it.
I personally get by on tramadol or low-dose benzos, but I am well aware neither is a good solution, especially if your supply stops.
I'd personally suggest talking to your doctor, and researching whatever they recommend so you know what to be on the lookout for in terms of side-effects or improvement. keep in mind they'll likely want you to keep taking SSRIs for 4-6 weeks before changing to something else because they work long-term and they want to be sure they're actually ineffective, unless you experience serious side-effects.
have you considered talking to a psychologist or counsellor? if possible, it'd be best to try to resolve the root issue.
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Well, if your med of choice is Adderall, then meth may well be the answer. It's basically the same thing, in the right dosage, but meth has fewer side effects.
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I'm seeing a counselor yeah. Think she's getting sick of me though lol. And I've been through the medication game before, with psychiatrists doing their waiting x many months before making changes thing and being frustrated. Suppose it's a worthwhile exercise in patience.
Mostly I'm hoping for success stories from this largely cynical crowd because I want something that might actually work this time. It's no good when I decide to turn to meds. Means I'm desperate.
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200mg (slow release) tramadol at night gets me through most days, but no sane medical professional would suggest that.
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hey equaniinty. kill yourself.
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stay the fuck away from anti-psychotics.
surround yourself with benzos and amphetamines.
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imo/ime ssri/snri's are bullshit placebos.
The only meds that actually work are addictive as fuck.
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try meditation and sex
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Yeah, meditation. I need to stop making excuses and get back there. Some days are rough though, and you actually feel like you're unable to even leave the bed. Then you spam sanctuary all day with your phone until you realize the sun's gone down...
Really think it might be time to see a psychiatrist. Will see my counselor a week from today and I'll discuss things with her.
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i can sex you
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i can sex you
But then there would be no more mystery left in our relationship, and we would grow bored of one another. I'd rather maintain that sense of mystique and allure; wouldn't you?
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no
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My experiences:
Every SSRI is ineffective.
Antipsychotics literally make you a braindead zombie.
Abilify = tardive dyskinesia.
Mood stabilizers are only useful when you've been manic for so long that you start falling apart.
Effective meds: SNDRIs, amphetamines, benzos, MAOIs.
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I've heard alot of warnings about MAOIs but have never been prescribed one.. never knew anybody that was, either.
So what is up with those? Can u get fucked up on them?
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Don't do them.
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Most prescription MAOIs work, but come with so much baggage, so many interactions that could kill you. I was prescribed phenelzine after a dozen failed SSRIs but I stopped when I started college. It did work.
You can get around most of the restrictions using a partial MAOI like harmala. The worst you'll normally get from harmala is a bad headache.
*EDIT: No, you can't get fucked up on them to my knowledge. They do potentiate a bunch of other drugs though.
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My experiences:
Every SSRI is ineffective.
Antipsychotics literally make you a braindead zombie.
Abilify = tardive dyskinesia.
Mood stabilizers are only useful when you've been manic for so long that you start falling apart.
Effective meds: SNDRIs, amphetamines, benzos, MAOIs.
Hmm. My experiences have been pretty similar.
The only combination that I remember being somewhat effective was effexor + lithium. Mostly I think it was the lithium, and I say somewhat effective because the suicidal thoughts were all but gone. Was pretty zombified though, and did absolutely nothing for those months I was on them :/
Have never been prescribed an MAOI or SNDRI though. Suppose effexor was 2/3 there lol. What SNDRIs are commonly prescribed? MAOIs aren't given out much from what I can tell.
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Most common SNDRI is probably wellbutrin. I've been on that and geodon (not an SNDRI, but close).
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Most common SNDRI is probably wellbutrin. I've been on that and geodon (not an SNDRI, but close).
Looks interesting. Maybe even promising, if the effexor was maybe sorta kinda helpful in the past. How did your treatments with wellbutrin and geodon go, if you don't mind me asking? An ex of mine was on geodon for a while but it didn't seem to help.
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...I'm still alive. ;D The majority of my suicidal urges were the result of failing to do things I knew I was capable of, mostly in college. Wellbutrin addressed this and I've kept it since.
Geodon was back in high school. I wasn't suicidal then, just... doing weird shit... Like sploo but without syncans and in a school with bars on the windows. It made me normal again, like... I was okay with jibing with authority while learning to subvert it vs constantly combating it.
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Oh, neat. Thanks! Wellbutrin may be worth a shot :)
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my experience is it makes my dick limp, hair fall out, and feel like even more of a numb nut than before
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Dicks are limp like 98% of the time.
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My experiences:
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Antipsychotics literally make you a braindead zombie.
so you actually get decaying skin and start getting an urge to feed on brains?
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Dicks are limp like 98% of the time.
maybe yours is numb nut
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I'm seeing a counselor yeah. Think she's getting sick of me though lol. And I've been through the medication game before, with psychiatrists doing their waiting x many months before making changes thing and being frustrated. Suppose it's a worthwhile exercise in patience.
Mostly I'm hoping for success stories from this largely cynical crowd because I want something that might actually work this time. It's no good when I decide to turn to meds. Means I'm desperate.
Had good results with SSRI's (Paroxetine)... Might be a good idea to go see a decent psychiatrist... in my experience general practitioners see anti depressants like a flu pill... "take for 6 days and you'll feel better" kinda thing...
SSRI's aren't instant happy pills either, it takes time to take effect and more importantly, they won't make you happy. They make you less depressed though. If sucessful, they make you less depressed to a point where you can start digging out of your hole (eg with help of your counselor, cos that's just as important as the meds)..
As for side effects, the only effect i have is occasional sweatiness... I think it's worth it.
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Has anyone other than kroz experienced alopecia (hair loss) when taking psych meds? That is not something I could handle lol.
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yeah.. im sure a lot people do. Especially with abilify , Depakote, lithium, and Seroquel. this was when I was fifteen/16. but most of the hair I lossed was around my pubic region but definitely on my head... but not in patches like alopecia.. just generally all over, I would wake up with my pillow full of hair. and I'd be asleep drooling on my desk at school. I'm 27 now and I just don't fuck with that stuff anymore, I rather be crazy than be some estrogen pumped wimp
these drugs would also make my lip quiver uncontrollably and my hands would shake. I used to work as a nursing assistant at the state hospital here. and the people that have been on these drugs for years are fucked up. In my opinion no one needs to be on this stuff unless you're seeing the ghost of dead cops.. ect..
I'd rather smoke weed, drink, and take an occasional benzo. bipolar/schizophrenia is thought by some to be more of a illness of your spirit. You sound like an intelligent person. just try to work through your problems
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yeah.. im sure a lot people do. Especially with abilify , Depakote, lithium, and Seroquel. this was when I was fifteen/16. but most of the hair I lossed was around my pubic region but definitely on my head... but not in patches like alopecia.. just generally all over, I would wake up with my pillow full of hair. and I'd be asleep drooling on my desk at school. I'm 27 now and I just don't fuck with that stuff anymore, I rather be crazy than be some estrogen pumped wimp
:tup:
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being a little neurotic and taking these meds is kinda like having mild back pain and thinking you need oxycodone. the people that need oxycodone are usually missing a limb.. My gf "cranberries" takes (escitalopram, and she is still complains of being sad wether she's on it or not. I took it a few times and while it did numb me up a bit mentally it caused so many other side effects and just generally made me feel strange. Sure.. you get used to it.. but would you really want to get used to something like that?
antipsychotics make you fat and stupid... hell even my doctor when I was younger told me that. it's just bad stuff. there are other things in your life that should make you feel sane. atleast for a little bit\
big pharmacy is not the answer!
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so you actually get decaying skin and start getting an urge to feed on brains?
Yes. It takes about 2 years for the long term side effects to kick in, but eventually you find yourself gnawing on your own appendages in your sleep and dreams, and then you never wake up, only getting flashes of reality when you've successfully scarfed down a brain.
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I had a lot of luck on a mix of Lithium, Celexa, and... for the life of me, I can't recall the name of the third one. Ah well, that one didn't help much anyway.
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yeah.. im sure a lot people do. Especially with abilify , Depakote, lithium, and Seroquel. this was when I was fifteen/16. but most of the hair I lossed was around my pubic region but definitely on my head... but not in patches like alopecia.. just generally all over, I would wake up with my pillow full of hair. and I'd be asleep drooling on my desk at school. I'm 27 now and I just don't fuck with that stuff anymore, I rather be crazy than be some estrogen pumped wimp
these drugs would also make my lip quiver uncontrollably and my hands would shake. I used to work as a nursing assistant at the state hospital here. and the people that have been on these drugs for years are fucked up. In my opinion no one needs to be on this stuff unless you're seeing the ghost of dead cops.. ect..
I'd rather smoke weed, drink, and take an occasional benzo. bipolar/schizophrenia is thought by some to be more of a illness of your spirit. You sound like an intelligent person. just try to work through your problems
Yeah, I work as a CNA myself. Know what you mean about the heavily medication people generally being worse off :/
But I'm kind of at my wit's end here. Getting pretty desperate, honestly. Intense suicidal thoughts, past like week I've spent in bed spamming this place. That feeling of being unable to get out of bed is the worst...
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I been on prescribed amphetamines for most of my life. Since 2nd grade. :tup:
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Fluvoxamine (Luvox) and Duloxetine (Cymbalta) are the better two mood SSRI/SNRI in my experience, sertraline (Zoloft) works pretty quickly especially at slowing you at getting off. All were well tolerated.
Chlorpromazine 50mg at night or so for a couple of months (Thorazine 50mg) helped get to sleep at night and maybe felped me focus during the day. I have enough enough extra tablets to knock out several suburbs of my street :/
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has anyone been on SSREs? I've heard things like tianeptine can be a lot more effective and faster-acting, but aren't readily prescribed in most countries.
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sertraline (zoloft) is shitty, stay away from it! It turned me into a shell of a person, and honestly I dont really remember much about that part of my life any more.
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I used to take escitalopran. Shit sucked, like someone else said I don't remember much from that time in my life. I worked a shitty job, smoked a lot of whatever I could get, and generally became a shitty person. The worst was that it made me entirely lose my sex drive and could barely get myself to cum even when I wanted to. It might be kind of lulzy to think about, but there is nothing fun about going to town and feeling like you might as well be rubbing your arm or some shit.
I'll reiterate; don't do it. It didn't do me one bit of good and was largely counterproductive. I'm just glad I didn't get arrested or die.
I should say I'm 100x more of a loser than I was now that I am off them, but I am at least a lot more balanced.
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You're more of a loser now? How so?
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You're more of a lower now? How so?
I don't do drugs, except a few drink with my parents. I don't go out anymore. All I do is sit on the computer alternating between posting shit on forums and trying to learn enough html/php/javascript/ruby to work for myself because the thought of working for a corporation makes me want to die. If I'm not at school or work I don't leave the house. I wasn't always like this, I used to go and mountain bike and shit or go to the local bar. When I started smoking weed and cigs I kept it up and would just go to the woods or river and smoke. It was peaceful. Now I am a prisoner to myself. I have spent the entire weekend indoors, same with last weekend, and the weekend before... (well not too far back, I used to work sat nights). I can't smoke weed cause it nearly got me kicked out of the house before.
On the positive side I am content and I am in control. I have no illusions.
When I was on psychs I was basically the same I just smoked a lot of weed, leading to my almost getting kicked out. Its funny cause now that I've quit I'm even more apathetic (besides my frantically trying to learn useful web dev). It's pathetic, I honestly just want to sustain a meager existence of getting high and doing web dev or marketing, but idk if I have it in me. Time just passes. I'm not trying to be all "woe is me", but time will pass and experiences will be had with or without antidepressants. It doesn't matter what you do because there is no end.
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You're more of a lower now? How so?
Time just passes. I'm not trying to be all "woe is me", but time will pass and experiences will be had with or without antidepressants. It doesn't matter what you do because there is no end.
I agree that with the amount of time on anti depressants, the noted benefit may just be ann improvemtent in life that was going to happen whether or whether you didn't do drugs.
In my case tho, I had been going through shit so long I was ready to try anything and everything because I had tried just "waiting it out" and it wasn't working for me.
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You're more of a lower now? How so?
Time just passes. I'm not trying to be all "woe is me", but time will pass and experiences will be had with or without antidepressants. It doesn't matter what you do because there is no end.
I agree that with the amount of time on anti depressants, the noted benefit may just be ann improvemtent in life that was going to happen whether or whether you didn't do drugs.
In my case tho, I had been going through shit so long I was ready to try anything and everything because I had tried just "waiting it out" and it wasn't working for me.
Sorry if i missed it, but has it helped?
I won't lie, they were effective, but things were just off. I don't kow how to explain it really, but serotonin is more than just 'happy' chemicals. Kind of trippy in a way. I can see how it makes some people apathetic and other people go nuts, and anywhere inbetween. And I don't regret giving it try either.
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Spoke with my therapist today. Didn't even need to bring medication up, as she did haha. Guess I must seem pretty messed up.
Now I really need to decide which medication to ask for. Could just go with the psych's recommendation, but that's never gone too well before. Wellbutrin might be the way to go. When I was taking effexor I was sweaty, experiencing slight tremors and dealing with sort of minor stomach issues... namely nausea. From my readings it looks like wellbutrin may be more of the same, which is not great but something I can deal with if it really helps.
Not sure if I should try for lithium again, or benzos. The lithium of course requires regular blood tests and that's annoying, but if the suicidal thoughts keep up then yeah. Benzos... I used to be an addict, and there's some concern of that happening again. Guess I should just be completely open and honest with the psychiatrist when we meet. Kinda nervous about it, and not sure why.
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You're more of a lower now? How so?
Time just passes. I'm not trying to be all "woe is me", but time will pass and experiences will be had with or without antidepressants. It doesn't matter what you do because there is no end.
I agree that with the amount of time on anti depressants, the noted benefit may just be ann improvemtent in life that was going to happen whether or whether you didn't do drugs.
In my case tho, I had been going through shit so long I was ready to try anything and everything because I had tried just "waiting it out" and it wasn't working for me.
Sorry if i missed it, but has it helped?
I won't lie, they were effective, but things were just off. I don't kow how to explain it really, but serotonin is more than just 'happy' chemicals. Kind of trippy in a way. I can see how it makes some people apathetic and other people go nuts, and anywhere inbetween. And I don't regret giving it try either.
Hard to tell. The placebo effect is a very real factor. My first antidepressant was Prozac. Never tried a med before that. So I was very AWARE that I was taking something.. ya know? IMO there wasn't enough of a benefit to say that it worked. My life did improve, but there were so many other factors involved.
What I can say for sure is when I stopped taking it, I was at 80mg which is HIGH n I didn't have any problems coming off of it. Life only got better.. I'm really a success story as far as recovering from severe clinical depression, social anxiety and bad bad bad agoraphobia. I was a basketcase. N Now I am relatively happy with NO agoraphobia. Only mild anxiety in certain situations that make even normal people a little anxious. Shopping in crowded stores, being singled out at work, stuff like that.
CBT is more important than medication. You really have to be proactive and work for change every day. I read so much on my problems I could've become a therapist lol. Without some sort of CBT(Mine was personal, although you can do it in conjunction with a professional) medication is pointless. Tho I do believe that along meds can get you motivated to start and work on the CBT as it can be very hard to do it in the deepest depths of depression/anxiety.
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I'm not on wellbutrin. Or, a generic kind I guess. 150mg bupronion XL once daily. Know I'll have to wait a month or so before any real changes take place, but somehow I was hoping for something to be better right away after seeing the psych. I'm underwhelmed in an unsurprising way.
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I've taken every bullshit nonbenzo anxiolytic and evergreening scam antidepressant that your doctor prescribes when you have a history of "drug seeking behavior" , uncited poorly evaluated assertions from psych ward clinicians that are poorly paid and unmotivated. They may as well probably are what is exacerbating my cognitive decline. They all suck. I haven't had human emotions or nonhuman pseudobulbar affect/limbic clusterfuck since 2008.
Also about the wellbutrin the xl variety doesn't do shit but cause psychosis and side effects. Instant release was very effective for me when I took it.
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What side effects did you experience? Might just be my imagination but I kinda feel sick to my stomach.
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Oh, I had meant to write more but guess I forgot. Went in kind of hoping for benzos but wasn't going to push 'cause I know they're actually bad for me. Was 100% completely honest, even about the suicidal thoughts. A little scared he might decide to lock me up again, but he didn't so yeah :tup:
It's only day 2, but I feel strange somehow. Like my head hurts and everything is a little distant.
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zek you should try poppy seed tea, kava kava, alcohol and weed instead.
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I've tried all of those things. Can't be a druggy, and kava never seemed to do anything except make my mouth feel weird.
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you think anti-psychotics and anti depressants doesn't make you a druggy? I've been taking cipro for my prostate problem and it has fucked me up more than any other drug ive done.. be careful
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you think anti-psychotics and anti depressants doesn't make you a druggy? I've been taking cipro for my prostate problem and it has fucked me up more than any other drug ive done.. be careful
Sorry, maybe "druggy" was a bad word to use there. I've done the recreational drugs thing to hell and back, and it's not at all a good solution for depression. But yeah, psychiatric meds have potential to ruin or even end lives. There's always that risk, unfortunately. I wasn't sure what else to do though.
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I feel ya... i guess its been a minute since I read your original post but what do you think is causing your depression.. have you ever considered talk to a psychcologist.. ?
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Life is all about calculated risks. At this point, it sounds like the risks inherent to psych meds is lower than the risks of not being on them. Oh, and I finally remembered the one I was taking that I couldn't recall before. Lamictal. Decent stuff. Took the edge off only a little, but I never had a bad reaction to it either.
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I see a counselor weekly, though I missed my appointment today. There are a number of factors contributing to the depression... some outside my control, some potentially within my control, and probably some completely unknown to me. It's difficult getting therapy to be like useful, at least in my experience. Always nice to talk about stuff, but it seems we never end up focusing on the things I need to focus on. Not sure why *shrug*
Hah, lamictal. I overdosed on that twice.
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Ok, not for you then. I resisted group therapy for a while, but it was very beneficial. Being surrounded by people more fucked up than yourself really helps put things in perspective.
Yeah, those factors you can't control are a bitch on your psyche. No amount of meds in the world can remove the chronic stress of an overbearing delusional parent, to use an example that absolutely has nothing to do with me.
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Do you two have jobs?
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Psh, jobs. Currently unemployed. Need to get back to work soon, though I'm not sure how well that will go. Totally capable of working, but then the depressive days I'm just like, "Fuck that, I'm gonna cry in bed all day!"
Good news is that I'm in high demand, and work is easy to find.
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work may help you not want to just cry in bed.. you should get out more is all my point rather than taking drugs all day err day. Just saying you seem like a nice guy.. I guess i've just personally had bad experiences with psyche meds and am some what opinionated.
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Psh, jobs. Currently unemployed. Need to get back to work soon, though I'm not sure how well that will go. Totally capable of working, but then the depressive days I'm just like, "Fuck that, I'm gonna cry in bed all day!"
Good news is that I'm in high demand, and work is easy to find.
You have utterly failed at life.
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Psh, jobs. Currently unemployed. Need to get back to work soon, though I'm not sure how well that will go. Totally capable of working, but then the depressive days I'm just like, "Fuck that, I'm gonna cry in bed all day!"
Good news is that I'm in high demand, and work is easy to find.
You have utterly failed at life.
lol
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I have my own business, but it's seasonal, and this is the off season. I got squat to do for the next 4-5 months, then I'll be busier than a whore on nickel night.
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I have my own business, but it's seasonal, and this is the off season. I got squat to do for the next 4-5 months, then I'll be busier than a whore on nickel night.
thats rad , what kind of buisness if i make ask... ? just curious
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work may help you not want to just cry in bed.. you should get out more is all my point rather than taking drugs all day err day. Just saying you seem like a nice guy.. I guess i've just personally had bad experiences with psyche meds and am some what opinionated.
Yeah, I know. It's funny, this depression stuff. I've rebuilt my life like 3 times, and then a depressive spell sends me way back down again. So, so tiring.
But yeah. Gotta do the things, or shut up and die.
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I sell t-shirts at art and craft fairs. Three straight days of working 14-16 hours per day are typical. 100 degree days are common. It's still better than working for someone else. Especially when you count the money. It's not super-profitable given the weird schedule, but I once brought in $2,000 in a single day. I get tingly just thinking about it.
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I sell t-shirts at art and craft fairs. Three straight days of working 14-16 hours per day are typical. 100 degree days are common. It's still better than working for someone else. Especially when you count the money. It's not super-profitable given the weird schedule, but I once brought in $2,000 in a single day. I get tingly just thinking about it.
thats badass I want to do something like that
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No, you don't. It's also how I fucked up my back and had to have major surgery. I can't lift shit over 40-50 pounds anymore without needing painkillers for the next few days. Should get better over time, but I'll probably never lift 100 again safely.
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I hope you're using proper body mechanics now. It's a big part of my work too, and back injuries are unfortunately common.
Wide stance, bend at the knees. Don't lift with arms, lift with legs.
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I was doing that when I hurt myself. Guess I wasn't careful enough, now I have a lifting belt and everything. Unfortunately, this is also how I discovered my insane natural tolerance for opiates. Freaking naproxin works better than Vicodin or Oxycontin for me.
Sorry for derailing your thread.
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I was doing that when I hurt myself. Guess I wasn't careful enough, now I have a lifting belt and everything. Unfortunately, this is also how I discovered my insane natural tolerance for opiates. Freaking naproxin works better than Vicodin or Oxycontin for me.
Really? How much hydrocodone or oxy do you need to help with your pain?
Sorry for derailing your thread.
Hey, there's nothing a week long ban won't fix :)
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Eh, the pain is pretty bad when I've done something stupid, but I have an absurd tolerance for that too. I can go a month or two without getting anything worse than a twinge though. As for the Vicodin and Oxy, I'm playing with liver damage before I feel anything, so I don't bother with it at all. Don't remember the actual dosage of oxy that I was taking, but it was about 4x what I was prescribed. I quit it entirely 3 days after spinal surgery (partial disc removal) for just that reason.
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Wow, that sucks :(
Could be a blessing in disguise, though. So many have ended up with bad opi addictions by starting out with pain meds like that.
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Eh, I'm both too stubborn and too cheap to be a very good addict.
As for how much I was hurting then... It's about equal to a fresh kick in the crotch. One of those kicks that is so hard that you fall down because your legs are no longer responding to the signals from your brain. Take the worst 5 seconds of that, and stretch it out for about a week solid. Then another few weeks of 'falling over because it's the easiest option' pain.