The Sanctuary

Ego => Head Shrinkers => Topic started by: joe camel on October 12, 2014, 12:16:13 am

Title: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: joe camel on October 12, 2014, 12:16:13 am
So lately i just been down. Shit is hard. Im just at a low point in my life. But the main thing that gets me down is i dont have anybody to talk to when im down, nobody who really understand what i go through on a daily basis. I know i shouldn't go out and seek such a person, because when i meet the one who will listen and does understand and actually cares about me i will know it. So how do i get by in the meantime? I have actually been thinking of getting put back on antidepressants because i struggle to get out of bed in the morning and even small simple tasks are just so hard to do when your so down. People have noticed a change in me. My job is in jeopardy because of this and if i lose this job its over for me. So i ask you, how do i move past this? How can i just be okay being alone?
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: equanimity on October 12, 2014, 12:18:00 am
Make friends with your loneliness.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: joe camel on October 12, 2014, 12:22:54 am
Make friends with your loneliness.

And how do i do that?
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: equanimity on October 12, 2014, 12:45:52 am
Make friends with your loneliness.

And how do i do that?

Don't fight it so much.  Accept it gently for what it is.  Everyone has to be alone from time to time.  It's kind of silly to react so strongly against something inevitable.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: joe camel on October 12, 2014, 12:49:56 am
I'm just tired of constantly being down and alone. I feel like whats the point in anything if you dont have someone to share it with? Why go to work? I can only spend that money on myself. Why dress nice? Nobody will see me anyway, etc.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: starvingniglet on October 12, 2014, 12:54:04 am
I'm just tired of constantly being down and alone. I feel like whats the point in anything if you dont have someone to share it with? Why go to work? I can only spend that money on myself. Why dress nice? Nobody will see me anyway, etc.

A man that is comfortable with himself is much more attractive to women.  Just hang in there and focus on getting done what you gotta do, and things will fall into place.  There will be setbacks or bad days, but that is just part of life.  It is easier said than done, but you can do it.  There is no reason you can't.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Prometheus on October 12, 2014, 02:46:52 am
As someone who is frequently medicated himself, if you think antidepressants will help, go for it. Depression contributes to isolation, and isolation is bad for depression. Sometimes you only need to be on something temporarily in order to break the cycle.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: kroz on October 12, 2014, 03:39:29 am
stephen king - “Alone. Yes, that's the key word, the most awful word in the English tongue. Murder doesn't hold a candle to it and hell is only a poor synonym.”

you deal with it by doing your own thing, I'm still trying to figure that out for myself, I'm sitting here with my "gf" right now and I've never felt more alone.

I know it sounds trite, but you will never be alone if you're with god.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: joe camel on October 12, 2014, 04:05:04 am
Man you guys always make me feel better, even if it is only a little bit. You guys give me hope, makr me feel like everything will be okay, its just a pothole in the road of life.

I give it a week, if by then i still feel like shit maybe its time to go to a doctor.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Nigger Nostrils on October 12, 2014, 04:16:15 am

Antidepressants will just make you feel tired and empty. What you need is beer and uplifting music.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Prometheus on October 12, 2014, 11:30:55 pm
Because nothing treats depression like a depressant!

Not that I haven't been known to self-medicate with alcohol. Just 8 or 10 drinks to make me stupid enough to get along with the normals. Any more than that, and I start to get drunk.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Ninja on October 12, 2014, 11:39:17 pm
I love being alone, because most people geek me the fuck out!  I got shit to do!  Focus all your free time on improving yourself, set goals, and push towards doing things that make you happy.  When you are alone you don't have another person trying to use up all your time and you can be extremely productive.  Go hire a hooker and have her hold you while you cry.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: starvingniglet on October 13, 2014, 12:34:24 am
Man you guys always make me feel better, even if it is only a little bit. You guys give me hope, makr me feel like everything will be okay, its just a pothole in the road of life.

I give it a week, if by then i still feel like shit maybe its time to go to a doctor.

 :tup:

(http://i57.tinypic.com/10xdpcl.jpg)
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Rocklin on October 13, 2014, 01:03:45 am
Being alone is great!,   all the money you make is "Yours" and you buy whatever or do whatever you want.   being alone also helps you get rich!




It also might make you into a psychopath though.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Suicidal Fish on October 13, 2014, 01:47:28 am
Like Rocklin says the postive is your money is yours

The negative is the voices in your head may start talking to you.

OP - I had an experience once when I moved away for work and I was living in a shared house with nobody as the owner was trying to sell. It was winter and freezing and I kept myself sane by going online and talkin in chat rooms etc, I also had a couple of mates to chat online with.

I also played a video game called Football (Soccer) Manager that made the time fly, but at the end of it I knew I was going home so you maybe need an end target
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Max Headroom on October 14, 2014, 12:30:23 am
Being alone means all your money is yours but money cant buy you love.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Suicidal Fish on October 14, 2014, 12:37:31 am
Being alone means all your money is yours but money cant buy you love.

It can buy a good hooker tho.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Prometheus on October 14, 2014, 12:39:11 am
It can't buy you love, but you can rent it by the hour.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Suicidal Fish on October 14, 2014, 12:40:16 am
It can't buy you love, but you can rent it by the hour.

Lust > Love
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Zanick on October 14, 2014, 12:53:34 am
I've been there. Sometimes just getting active doesn't help, either. My best advice right now would be to cultivate an interest or skill in something new. It doesn't have to be constructive, just good enough to pass the time and spark your imagination. When I was troubled in high school I'd practice my guitar. I felt that way often, and I got good pretty fast. If you have the right talent and inspiration, transform your feelings into art.

That failing, sometimes it really helps to talk with someone you can confide in. You might feel alone, but it doesn't have to be that way. Remember that isolation is a two-way street, in many cases something we subject ourselves to for reasons we don't fully understand. The people who know us best can open our eyes to things that restore faith, even at our lowest.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Suicidal Fish on October 14, 2014, 01:07:26 am
I've been there. Sometimes just getting active doesn't help, either. My best advice right now would be to cultivate an interest or skill in something new. It doesn't have to be constructive, just good enough to pass the time and spark your imagination. When I was troubled in high school I'd practice my guitar. I felt that way often, and I got good pretty fast. If you have the right talent and inspiration, transform your feelings into art.

That failing, sometimes it really helps to talk with someone you can confide in. You might feel alone, but it doesn't have to be that way. Remember that isolation is a two-way street, in many cases something we subject ourselves to for reasons we don't fully understand. The people who know us best can open our eyes to things that restore faith, even at our lowest.

I may have that as my signature
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: KneeGrow on October 15, 2014, 12:04:31 am
The simple fact that you made this post and people responded means you have no idea what being alone feels like.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: joe camel on October 15, 2014, 12:41:32 am
Being alone means all your money is yours but money cant buy you love.

No, my money is not mine. At the end of a 2 week paycheck after paying my lawyer i keep about $200.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: joe camel on October 15, 2014, 12:42:28 am
The simple fact that you made this post and people responded means you have no idea what being alone feels like.

Yeah because i see these people irl and confide in them and know they care about me and know they will listen to me when im down, right?
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Obbe on October 15, 2014, 01:00:32 am
The simple fact that you made this post and people responded means you have no idea what being alone feels like.

Yeah because i see these people irl and confide in them and know they care about me and know they will listen to me when im down, right?

Remember what i told you Joe.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Ninja on October 15, 2014, 02:32:52 am
It honestly doesn't really matter if you are alone or not.  I've been seeing this woman for almost the past 2 months and although she seemed perfect in a lot of ways, I found out she has been lying to me the entire time.  It's not even anything serious, but just the fact that she has been consistently lying to me...  She doesn't know what I found out...  But, I told her she can either confess her lies or I'm gone.  But, I don't need that bullshit.  I HATE liars.  And, if it ends, that's just one more failed attempt at socializing, because everyone is fucking batshit.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Rook on October 15, 2014, 03:29:07 am
Before I met my fiance of four years, I went through a couple drawn out periods of loneliness.. Somewhat by choice, somewhat by necessity. The thing about being alone you first have to realize, is that essentially, the word in itself has a bad rep. People have bitched about being alone for so long, we've just become accustomed to quickly assuming it's status as a bad thing. The truth of the situation however, is that the majority of people.. suck. Maybe not in general, but from an individual standpoint and perspective, the average person is going to have a niche of people in which they can get along with, and will view the bulk as annoying, ignorant, or otherwise uninteresting. It's finding those niche people that takes a little time or work.

 Their are positive aspects to being alone. You have so much more focus on yourself and what you want. (short of you not wanting to be alone, which is counter-productive).. You have more free reign over your life, your direction, your schedule, when you want to take time off, less stress about completing tasks, freedom to pursue your craziest dreams without fear of judgement.. etc.. I suppose the overall goal of the lonely, is to find someone to share your life with, that still adheres to those same fundamentals. But, with relationships come compromise.. priorities.. timelines.. responsibilities.. and expectations. Which are not inherently bad within themselves, but in the wrong relationship, can be toxic, depressing, and the undoing the the relationship in general, resulting in.. well.. wasted time.

 Funny.. As I stated, I went through "true" periods of alone time before my fiance. When we first got together, and at varying times of our relationship, we've partied a bit, hung out with friends, tried to keep up with a social scene or two... But, every so often.. We'll take time off from people for months at a time, just only we're together in doing so. So we still more/less have periods of being alone, except we're together.. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.. for now. Most people just arent worth the time. Invest in yourself, work on making yourself better.. or jsut do whatever you want.. be lazy, play games, join a workshop, start writing, being bodybuilding, start tinkiering with old electronics, do diy projects, learn to cook, learn another language, start a webpage, start a business, so much potential.. just do something, instead of nothing.. alone or not.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Umbrella Corp on October 15, 2014, 09:23:29 pm
Move to chicago and I can hook you up bro.  Getchu some pussay n we could shoot up dope all day.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Rook on October 16, 2014, 05:57:11 am
^^^ I've wanted to visit Chicago, and have been by there on a few occasions. But honestly, the only reason I haven't is because of the incredibly bad rep that place gets.
Title: Re: how to deal with being alone?
Post by: Suicidal Fish on October 18, 2014, 05:22:58 am
^^^ I've wanted to visit Chicago, and have been by there on a few occasions. But honestly, the only reason I haven't is because of the incredibly bad rep that place gets.

Dont be put off by the jazz music and the sub standard pizza