The Sanctuary

Ego => Bitch & Moan => Topic started by: Arnox on June 03, 2014, 05:38:02 am

Title: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Arnox on June 03, 2014, 05:38:02 am
(Venting incoming.)

Not just from this site but everything in general. Just found out how my parents are about to get completely screwed over in a very special way by Obamacare, my bro's struggling with his addiction, and I'm working a job I hate (nothing new there though). Then again, who am I kidding? Almost my entire family are working jobs they hate. Oh yeah, and don't forget the bedbugs. But we've beaten 'em off for a while I think.

Man, I wish I could just... let go. I seem to be reading constantly these days about people becoming free from their troubles and their stress. Usually through changing themselves on the inside. How I envy them. To be better than I currently am and enjoy that constant happiness that's evaded me for so long. But perhaps the answer's staring me right in the face. Maybe I'm just too unwilling to change myself. I've never dealt well with change in general. Doubly so when it comes to personal changes. Maybe even triply so.

Really hope I'm gonna feel better in the morning here. In the meantime though, just typing this out was pleasant.
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Rocklin on June 03, 2014, 05:43:50 am
Fuck bedbugs man...FUCK EM.    nothing worse after a hard days work tryin to sleep and getting eatten,   the crawling sensation never leaves either.  you think they are there......but there not.

I had them while i spent 2 months in an army style camp up north,  some dude brought them with his shit and the whole camp got them.
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Infinityshock on June 03, 2014, 07:05:36 am
Murder-suicide seems to be the trending way to solve these personal problems nowadays

You could try that then post how well it worked out for u....mebbe you can start your own self-help program
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Arnox on June 04, 2014, 12:48:22 am
Fuck bedbugs man...FUCK EM.    nothing worse after a hard days work tryin to sleep and getting eatten,   the crawling sensation never leaves either.  you think they are there......but there not.

I had them while i spent 2 months in an army style camp up north,  some dude brought them with his shit and the whole camp got them.

Yeah, we're planning to heat up the whole house to 135 degrees or so for some hours to kill the little turds.

Murder-suicide seems to be the trending way to solve these personal problems nowadays

You could try that then post how well it worked out for u....mebbe you can start your own self-help program

If someone needs a self-help program, it's you.
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Infinityshock on June 04, 2014, 01:06:01 am
false.  im perfectly capable of helping myself adequately...if not excessively
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: peskybear on June 04, 2014, 02:52:13 am
How are they getting screwed by Obamacare?
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Arnox on June 04, 2014, 03:29:02 am
How are they getting screwed by Obamacare?

Well, basically, the insurance that my dad is given through his job disqualifies him from receiving insurance from the government. And if they accept the one offered through his job, they'll have to pay $600 per month for crappy coverage which would break him financially. If he takes my mother out of the insurance plan, it becomes $300, but having no insurance at all for her is unacceptable to them and all the other insurance plans she can take are even MORE expensive than the $300. So now my mom has to either get a job, or my dad has to quit his job and get one somewhere around minimum wage so he can qualify for government insurance for the both of them.
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: peskybear on June 04, 2014, 03:33:58 am
Well, basically, the insurance that my dad is given through his job disqualifies him from receiving insurance from the government. And if they accept the one offered through his job, they'll have to pay $600 per month for crappy coverage which would break him financially. If he takes my mother out of the insurance plan, it becomes $300, but having no insurance at all for her is unacceptable to them and all the other insurance plans she can take are even MORE expensive than the $300. So now my mom has to either get a job, or my dad has to quit his job and get one somewhere around minimum wage so he can qualify for government insurance for the both of them.
That's dumb...I wonder what the effects of Obamacare are going to be in 5 years. There's a lot of poor people stoked that health insurance is now somewhat cheap but I think it's really weird that the law basically forces you to BUY it or they tack some kind of fine onto your taxes. That seems kindof crooked.
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Arnox on June 04, 2014, 03:47:39 am
Well, basically, the insurance that my dad is given through his job disqualifies him from receiving insurance from the government. And if they accept the one offered through his job, they'll have to pay $600 per month for crappy coverage which would break him financially. If he takes my mother out of the insurance plan, it becomes $300, but having no insurance at all for her is unacceptable to them and all the other insurance plans she can take are even MORE expensive than the $300. So now my mom has to either get a job, or my dad has to quit his job and get one somewhere around minimum wage so he can qualify for government insurance for the both of them.
That's dumb...I wonder what the effects of Obamacare are going to be in 5 years. There's a lot of poor people stoked that health insurance is now somewhat cheap but I think it's really weird that the law basically forces you to BUY it or they tack some kind of fine onto your taxes. That seems kindof crooked.
Well, to be a little bit fair, if you can't find insurance that's 8% of your income or less, you won't have to pay the fine, but either way, health insurance is pretty much a must if you're anywhere above your 40's. So you're still getting raped either way.
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Rocklin on June 04, 2014, 06:48:18 am
move to canada?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_care_in_Canada (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_care_in_Canada)
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Arnox on June 04, 2014, 06:52:58 am
move to canada?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_care_in_Canada (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_care_in_Canada)
Heard from past canadians that it was REALLY bad over there too, health care wise and the doctors were way understaffed.
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Rocklin on June 04, 2014, 07:03:40 am
it depends,  when we all thought i broke my neck in 1999 my OHIP card got charged $55 for an ambulance ride.  thats all we paid.   everything else was free.

when i had a fishing hook stuck in my finger i went to the hospital and was shown to a bed straight away,  it took 3 hours to get that fucking thing out.

it looked like this but with 2 out of 3 barbs buried in my right index finger.
Spoiler
(http://www.aqueductfishing.zoomshare.com/files/hookownage.jpg)
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Infinityshock on June 05, 2014, 04:50:34 pm
I recently converted to a religion that expressly prohibits its followers from having obamacare
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Arnox on June 26, 2014, 03:46:37 am
Sorry I haven't really done very much with this site at all, guys. My motivation to do anything has been drained a lot this past week. I actually think I know what's causing it though so don't worry, I'm gonna fix it.
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: PurpleCow on June 27, 2014, 12:12:45 pm
Sorry I haven't really done very much with this site at all, guys. My motivation to do anything has been drained a lot this past week. I actually think I know what's causing it though so don't worry, I'm gonna fix it.

Well you cant blame the sorry state of this site on the tweakers. They just sat back and watched you and your core fuck up their "Sanctuary".

@ Street Carp

TWEAKERS   2

FAGS            0
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Riv3r on June 27, 2014, 02:04:38 pm
Change starts with you, man. So in a way, happiness is staring you in the face. Once you create a habit of depression or self-pity then you have to work to feel much else. As someone who goes through depression and anxiety on a regular basis, I get it. I used to have anxiety or full blown panic attacks when talking to certain people. Developed it about 4 years ago. I've been working on it for the past year and a half and it's almost nonexistent now. The depression is still there sometimes but that comes and goes. I think that I've gotten that down to a manageable level. You just really need to work on it. It's true what they say, you choose whether or not you want to be happy. It just takes lots of practicing. You've become this way over the course of years so don't expect to just wake up all better one day. It's going to take an almost equal amount of time to pull yourself out. Good luck, Arnox.

As for the healthcare shit, I qualify for free healthcare because only one of my jobs is reported to the IRS, the others are under the table. I tried to sign up and they ran me around for three hours telling me I qualified then I didn't back to me qualifying. Eventually I just hung up the phone and said fuck it. I don't give a shit. The system is a fucking mess. Again, good luck here as well.
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Arnox on June 27, 2014, 03:06:20 pm
They just sat back and watched you and your core fuck up their "Sanctuary".
Well, you better leave right now then since it's so "fucked up."
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: PurpleCow on June 27, 2014, 04:53:10 pm
They just sat back and watched you and your core fuck up their "Sanctuary".
Well, you better leave right now then since it's so "fucked up."

Arnox, you turd. I am trying to motivate your ass!
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Arnox on June 27, 2014, 11:04:13 pm
Arnox, you turd. I am trying to motivate your ass!

Hehehe... Thanks, but I'm starting to get a good handle on this. Just give me time. Also, I'll still always be checking this site constantly if anything else, so if you have a question, idea, or complaint, please post it.
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: burroughs on June 28, 2014, 01:22:19 am
I'm sorry to hear Arnox. I'm a bit shocked that you're revealing all this given that you've been pretty tight lipped about yourself in the past. It really does let me see you in a new light, in any case. All I ever knew about you was that you're Mormon and you like video games.

All I can really say is that happiness starts with you. I feel a bit hypocritical saying that because it's something I haven't remotely mastered or come to terms with myself. I just know that it's the right answer.

Basically, I think there's 2 kinds of people of the world. People who say "Life is the circumstances I find myself in" versus "I am who I am, and life is what I make of it". Happiness comes easier to that second type of person, because circumstances change all the time. If I could pick the most important thing I've learned since finishing school and being responsible for myself, it'd be that life begins to move unbelievably fast once you take that leap. Don't miss out.

As for finding that inner peace, it differs from person to person. Some find it in religious faith. For others it just comes natural to them and it's a part of their personality. And for yet others like me, we just need to constantly remind ourselves that a shitty situation does not and will never define you as a person.
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Idiosyncrasy on June 28, 2014, 04:36:22 pm
I'm glad you're doing a little better, Arnox. I always tell myself that life is what you make it to be. It's about perception, which relates to the idea that happiness comes from within. It's easy to think too much and get caught up in the monotony and and the tediousness, but as cliche as it is, counting your blessings can at least lead to short term happiness. Since we all have internet access, our problems look like luxuries compared to a majority of the world.

I like this quote. I've seen a couple other authors credited with it, but I think it's Lou Holtz.

"Life is 10 percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it."
- Lou Holtz

It's true that some things just happen. But taking those experiences and doing something with them, reacting a certain way, and thinking with a certain mindset are within our control. So is happiness. It can boil down to the glass half full or the glass half empty; the perspective is ours.

Another quote, not sure of its origin and it's not quite biblical (but many think it is):

"Idle hands are the devil's workshop; an idle mind is the devil's playground."

Sometimes just being busy helps. A man needs to have time to be alone with his thoughts, but not too much time. We can drive ourselves crazy with too much free time. Even just going on a jog if there's nothing else to do can clear your mind and occupy your thoughts at the same time.

And lastly, consider this for meditation and prayer:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference."
- Reinhold Niebuhr
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: MoaningLisa on June 28, 2014, 05:40:14 pm
shit happens...

my bedbugs experience-stayed in a seedy motel, I knew they were all in my luggage...so I stopped at a truck stop, cleaned all my clothes and took a shower, didn't take them home. 3 gross hours of my life I'll never get back, but at least I got rid of them.

how do you plan to heat your entire house to 135?

obamacare is retarded, I torched my hand and they couldn't do shit for me, I wound up just treating it at home.

about 2 weeks after the incident-
(http://i.imgur.com/Gfo5gLL.jpg)
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Arnox on June 28, 2014, 11:33:34 pm
how do you plan to heat your entire house to 135?
60,000 BTU garage heater. Carefully monitored.
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Riv3r on June 30, 2014, 06:58:22 pm
how do you plan to heat your entire house to 135?
60,000 BTU garage heater. Carefully monitored.

Dude, that just sounds like an accident waiting to happen.
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Arnox on June 30, 2014, 08:22:54 pm
Dude, that just sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

There's no other way to heat up the house that is available to us really.
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Spectre on June 30, 2014, 09:53:54 pm
how do you plan to heat your entire house to 135?
60,000 BTU garage heater. Carefully monitored.
ITT rip in peace Arnox
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Shiva on June 30, 2014, 09:56:48 pm
Goodnight sweet Arnox.
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: RisiR on November 25, 2014, 12:12:01 am
Man, I wish I could just... let go. I seem to be reading constantly these days about people becoming free from their troubles and their stress. Usually through changing themselves on the inside. How I envy them. To be better than I currently am and enjoy that constant happiness that's evaded me for so long.But perhaps the answer's staring me right in the face. Maybe I'm just too unwilling to change myself. I've never dealt well with change in general. Doubly so when it comes to personal changes. Maybe even triply so.
So, tell me Arnie, how did that turn out?
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: unbreakable matter on November 25, 2014, 12:16:28 am
There's this new aotp song whose chorus is "kill yourself"

google it and listen to it over and over again arnox
Title: Re: Feeling a little burned out...
Post by: Enter on November 25, 2014, 12:32:13 am
(Venting incoming.)

Not just from this site but everything in general. Just found out how my parents are about to get completely screwed over in a very special way by Obamacare, my bro's struggling with his addiction, and I'm working a job I hate (nothing new there though). Then again, who am I kidding? Almost my entire family are working jobs they hate. Oh yeah, and don't forget the bedbugs. But we've beaten 'em off for a while I think.

Man, I wish I could just... let go. I seem to be reading constantly these days about people becoming free from their troubles and their stress. Usually through changing themselves on the inside. How I envy them. To be better than I currently am and enjoy that constant happiness that's evaded me for so long. But perhaps the answer's staring me right in the face. Maybe I'm just too unwilling to change myself. I've never dealt well with change in general. Doubly so when it comes to personal changes. Maybe even triply so.

Really hope I'm gonna feel better in the morning here. In the meantime though, just typing this out was pleasant.

I feel sorry for people stuck in ruts. 2014 has been my biggest year in terms of change, inside and out, but it's because I made it happen.

Oh man I really want to give you advice* and stuff, but you fucking suck and I'd rather let you wallow in despair.

*Not that you'd take it anyway.