The Sanctuary

Ego => Half Baked => Topic started by: constantinople on September 11, 2014, 10:18:04 pm

Title: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 11, 2014, 10:18:04 pm
Harry! Just Hairy!

(http://img.timeinc.net/time/photoessays/2009/harry_potter_grows/harry_potter_grows_01.jpg)
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: Infinityshock on September 11, 2014, 10:19:29 pm
someone should make an addendum to the rules...no posting after consuming large quantities of bath salts
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: Arnox on September 12, 2014, 02:30:58 am
Well... Just hairy... Did you ever suck any massive cocks?
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: Infinityshock on September 12, 2014, 02:34:32 am
Well... Just hairy... Did you ever suck any massive cocks?

youre welcome for not taking that all kinds of fun and exciting places that you wouldnt have found fun and exciting
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: Yeah Im a leopard on September 12, 2014, 10:27:51 am
Well... Just hairy... Did you ever suck any massive cocks?
I heard it was Weasley on the bottom.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoihY_VB16Q
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: Michael Myers on September 12, 2014, 11:50:48 am
A hipste-.... oh, guess that works too.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 12, 2014, 05:09:45 pm
Well... Just hairy... Did you ever suck any massive cocks?


Bout the biggest and hairest you ever saw, faggot!

(http://images6.fanpop.com/image/polls/1154000/1154892_1355419882138_full.png)
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 12, 2014, 05:11:58 pm
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_logj2wcmIo1qfm5exo1_500.gif)

Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 12, 2014, 05:16:20 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpgQSbwnWD0
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 12, 2014, 05:16:57 pm
15" bangers on my broom man im swangin
pass the blunt to da bitch hold my wand when im drankin

Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 12, 2014, 05:34:43 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpgQSbwnWD0


Who the fuck are these mark ass trick ass punk ass little bitch wizards?

I'd slap those fake-ass rhymes outta they mouth and call they momma to come pick em up out front, cause they ain't gonna be rappin OR frontin no more.

Punk ass faggot.


(http://i.imgur.com/zmnvFAj.jpg)
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: Riv3r on September 12, 2014, 05:42:19 pm
Well... Just hairy... Did you ever suck any massive cocks?
I heard it was Weasley on the bottom.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoihY_VB16Q

This is the greatest thing I have ever seen. I'm now watching all of them.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 12, 2014, 05:44:25 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpgQSbwnWD0


Who the fuck are these mark ass trick ass punk ass little bitch wizards?

I'd slap those fake-ass rhymes outta they mouth and call they momma to come pick em up out front, cause they ain't gonna be rappin OR frontin no more.

Punk ass faggot.


(http://i.imgur.com/zmnvFAj.jpg)

reported

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2An0fuHW8E
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 12, 2014, 05:49:45 pm
lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol


I bet they take turns shoving beater's bats up each others asses when they aren't busy making faggot rap videos. besides i aint never seen these jack asses at the Hogwarts alumnus meetings.


(http://img.over-blog-kiwi.com/0/93/24/45/20140720/ob_a17f64_daniel-radcliffe.gif)
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 12, 2014, 05:54:17 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYvvJuwev74

AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WE MIGHTY WIZARDS

#1 SORCERERS
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: bling bling on September 12, 2014, 07:15:53 pm
none of u know the true meaning of wizard
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 12, 2014, 07:20:21 pm
none of u know the true meaning of wizard

b;ing bling is a fucking muggle.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: bling bling on September 12, 2014, 07:32:41 pm
i dont think so
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 12, 2014, 07:46:22 pm
i dont think so


i just transfigured my dick into a blunt, =u gonna smoke it faggit? thot not, muggle bitch. muggle snitch.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: bling bling on September 12, 2014, 09:21:30 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/2IICAup.jpg)
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 13, 2014, 02:38:00 am
I don't know who that is but he is one or both of two things 1) a muggle 2) a snitch.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 14, 2014, 03:13:54 am
Part 1: The Institutionalization of a Socio-Economic Class System

Through-out the world of Harry Potter we are exposed to different levels of Wizarding society. Some of the levels are mentioned in passing, some have real roles in the stories, but all of them share one thing in common: their oppression at the hands of the Wizarding Elite.
It is noted in the 1st book that Hagrid (a half-giant) is also not allowed to do magic, He was expelled, under dubious circumstances, from what amounted to wizarding high school. Normally these actions are repealed, so the student does not suffer from reduced economic prospects in the future. However, as a retaliation for his transgressions the Ministry of Magic took away his primary means of economic sustainability, namely, his ability to work magic of any scale. This effectively reduced him to jobs requiring no real magical ability, and it is reflected in his lifelong career as a janitor, and lifelong poverty. His one offense brought him a lifetime of poverty and remorse - this sort of overbearing punishment SURELY is not the hallmark of a benevolent government.

Even after Hagrid's innocence in the matter of the Chamber of Secrets was proven, his ban from working magic was still upheld. His wand remained broken, and no consideration was given to the time he spent under punishment. Not only does this indicate a governing body that grossly over punishes it's constituents, but then goes on to be oblivious to the point of seeming absentee - until it's time to fuck someone else's life up.

Even more chilling than the Ministries handling of disciplinary action in a private school, is the schools largely tacit acceptance of the verdict. Even Hagrid's closest friends show little, if any remorse for his situation in life. His plight usually goes unnoticed, while he is continually asked to perform dangerous and odious tasks for the ruling elite. Even his expertise outside of magic working are largely ignored until Hogwarts is pressed to find another teacher on short notice. As an after thought, even though he had demonstrated his abilities previously, his status as both a half-giant and a non-magic worker relegated him to the position of "last choice".

Another employee of Hogwarts, who was born to magicing parents, but without the ability himself, Mr. Filch, occupies a similar status in life. However, while Hagrid's predicament ultimately stemmed from what (it is assumed) was a fair punishment, Filch's condition was entirely hereditary - the equivalent of a physical handi-cap in today's world. In stead of being allowed to enjoy a life filled with the benefits of magic, he too is pushed to the margins of society, as another janitor in the wizarding world. Another person, handicapped through no fault of his own, condemned to destitution through a cultural and legal system that creates opportunity for the gifted and seeks only to find minimal use for those that do not make the cut.

Similar to Mr. Filch, is Harry Potter's longtime neighbor, Mrs. Figg. Mrs. Figg, perhaps, is among the most tragic of non-magic using characters who belong to the wizarding world. She has no employment, or real contact at all with the wizarding world. She is used as a living camera to monitor Harry's activity, but not because she was fit for the job, or because people believed in her abilities, but because it was convenient since she already lived next to him. This is a woman, marginalized by the society she was born into, outcasted because of her genetic disabilities, who is now being asked to perform an extremely dangerous job solely on the merit that her loyal to wizarding society would be all the repayment she needed. This smacks of indifference toward the "lower classes" and it speaks of a cultural prejudice that has become so common place that it is rarely questioned or thought of in Wizarding Society.

Mrs. Fig then is nearly attacked, suffers an official investigation and interrogation by the highest Wizarding Court that exists, and she recieves NO THANKS. There are no magical gifts bestowed upon her, she is not welcomed back into the selective fold of the wizarding world. She is asked to return to her home, in the mundane suburbs of the muggles, isolated from the wonders of a society that is her birthright - whether she can work magic or no.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 14, 2014, 03:15:55 am
 Part 2: Ministry Approved Torture and Azkaban Prison

In non-magic society there are STRICT and STRINGENT stipulations on how prisons are run and managed. There are strict guidelines to ensure that the basic rights of a human being are not violated during incarceration. The wizarding world, it seems, takes no such consideration when dealing with it's convict population.

Conditions in Azkaban prison are incomparable to non-magic prisons. Imagine the worst most disease and violence infested prison known to man, and then realize it can barely hold a candle to the horrors of Azkaban. In Azkaban, prisoners are restricted to cells large enough to stand in, only. In fact, standing is all you will be doing, as prisoners are chained in an upright position, through-out there internment. The cells are dark, wet, and the prisoners unattended for...except for their wardens.

The wardens of Azkaban prison are a race of beings that feed off of negative emotion. They are an enigmatic species and largely unexplained, however it is known that the ministry subjugated their entire species to be the guards of Azkaban prison. Because of the unique way in which they feed - by forcing a person to psychically relive their most horrific moments - Azkaban prison represents a nearly eternal food source. However, that food is garnered at the sanity of the witches and wizards they guard. This feeding and catalyzing of negative emotion is permanent and on-going in Azkaban, all day and all night. Most inmates of Azkaban prison go horrifically insane, and the people who do leave, are hesitant to ever mention it again. And, for the few most unfortunate souls, the wizarding world has procured a way of lobotomizing a person - by stealing their immortal soul. To take away the very essence of life, and leave only a hollowed husk remaining. A fate worse than death indeed, and an act unconscionable my most.

To earn a stay in such a hellish place one would expect the transgressions a person must commit to be quite egregious indeed, but no. They are not. In fact, one can be sent to Azkaban for something as trivial as underage wizardry (the equivalent of underage drinking in the non-magic world). With the penalties for any transgression in the wizarding world so severe, it is small wonder that they are able to maintain such a stable and homogenized population. Any attempt to change the system is seen as sedition, and those who would like to attempt to change are paralyzed by the fear of subjugation and internment at the most horrific torture facility ever devised.

Photographs of conditions inside Azkaban:


(http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20070423171447/harrypotter/images/5/50/Bellatrix-Azkaban.jpg)

(http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090813162319/harrypotter/images/6/62/Sirius_Black_tower.jpg)

Arial photograph of prison

(http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140523164206/harrypotter/images/8/8f/Prisons-200412-azkaban.jpg)
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: Idiosyncrasy on September 14, 2014, 03:17:51 am
Well... Just hairy... Did you ever suck any massive cocks?

youre welcome for not taking that all kinds of fun and exciting places that you wouldnt have found fun and exciting

Do you have a lot of experience taking massive cocks in all kinds of fun and exciting places?
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 14, 2014, 03:23:01 am
Part 3: Ministry Appropriation of Inhabited Land

Fuck...I'm too baked to finish writing this shit right now. I'll write it tomorrow when I'm at peak form. YOU'RE GETTING OFF LIGHT YOU MINISTRY FUCKS! YOU SLICK SONS OF BITCHES BETTER FUCKING WAKE UP AND FACE THE MUSIC

Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: Really Awesome Nickname on September 14, 2014, 05:14:03 am
I shave my Hairy since it started growing beard everywhere, cause I am all about the ladies and most of them rather eat the turkey without all the feathers. You know, it is one of the two things that separate gourmet from regular, the presentation of the dish. The other one is the size, which is the reason I like to make transactions in bulk, so that the amount you get is worth the price.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: unbreakable matter on September 14, 2014, 05:37:53 am
Part 3: Ministry Appropriation of Inhabited Land

Fuck...I'm too baked to finish writing this shit right now. I'll write it tomorrow when I'm at peak form. YOU'RE GETTING OFF LIGHT YOU MINISTRY FUCKS! YOU SLICK SONS OF BITCHES BETTER FUCKING WAKE UP AND FACE THE MUSIC



wait, that shit above you isn't copied and pasted? wtf

(http://i.imgur.com/er4OurN.jpg)
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 14, 2014, 12:41:49 pm
Part 3: Ministry Appropriation of Inhabited Land

Fuck...I'm too baked to finish writing this shit right now. I'll write it tomorrow when I'm at peak form. YOU'RE GETTING OFF LIGHT YOU MINISTRY FUCKS! YOU SLICK SONS OF BITCHES BETTER FUCKING WAKE UP AND FACE THE MUSIC



wait, that shit above you isn't copied and pasted? wtf


That is all Original Content bitch. I wrote that yesterday.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: RisiR on September 14, 2014, 12:47:40 pm
This gonna make you millions. Don't forget your roots when your on top getting that Pulitzer price.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 14, 2014, 01:14:33 pm
This gonna make you millions. Don't forget your roots when your on top getting that Pulitzer price.

My main goal is to gain the attention of J.K. Rowling, get her personal phone number, and harass her for tit pics.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: bling bling on September 15, 2014, 10:38:44 am
im glad u got banned

i banned u with my skills i learnd in wizard aprentice class

i am a memeber of the top wizard forum on the internet and have
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: RisiR on September 15, 2014, 04:41:59 pm
im glad u got banned

i banned u with my skills i learnd in wizard aprentice class

i am a memeber of the top wizard forum on the internet and have mad AIDS.
Fixed that for you, blood.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 22, 2014, 08:59:52 pm
im glad u got banned

i banned u with my skills i learnd in wizard aprentice class

i am a memeber of the top wizard forum on the internet and have

Silence, knave.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: FON on September 23, 2014, 02:15:53 am
constantinople is #1 HP fan on Sanctuary?

i couldn't remember half of that shit.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: mojo4567 on September 23, 2014, 02:21:19 am
im glad u got banned

i banned u with my skills i learnd in wizard aprentice class

i am a memeber of the top wizard forum on the internet and have

Silence, knave.

Oh welcome back! If only unstabble matter would be unbanned as well :l
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: Infinityshock on September 23, 2014, 02:39:15 am
Ich mag schwanz in meinen arsch

:jerkoff:

never a more truthful statement was said
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 27, 2014, 11:30:12 pm
constantinople is #1 HP fan on Sanctuary?

i couldn't remember half of that shit.

One day I will finish lambasting Harry Potter but it won't be today or tomorrow.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 27, 2014, 11:37:41 pm
How did this bitch go from an ugly ass child to future smokin hot babe in 1 year?(https://www.wodumedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Emma-Watson-as-Hermione-Granger-in-Warner-Bros.-Pictures-Harry-Potter-and-the-Prisoner-of-Azkaban-17.jpg)
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: equanimity on September 28, 2014, 12:43:09 am
I used to get dressed up with my and cousin when the books and movies were released.  My mom made me this cool wand too!
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 29, 2014, 07:21:27 pm
I used to get dressed up with my and cousin when the books and movies were released.  My mom made me this cool wand too!

Did you stick the wand in your pooper ever?
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: equanimity on September 29, 2014, 07:22:45 pm
No.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: komokazi on September 29, 2014, 07:31:30 pm
Calm your tits, I'm the only wizard around here, faggot.
Title: Re: But I CAN'T be a...a wizard! I'm..
Post by: constantinople on September 29, 2014, 11:58:36 pm
Calm your tits, I'm the only wizard around here, faggot.

petrificus totalus